All-Star Bullying

[CoachJulie]

Whose been bullied in one way or another through their experience in cheer & dance and the real world? Do you see any difference outside our community vs. inside? Would you like to help Cheer for a Cause with our June anti-bullying cause? We're looking for real life stories and video of your experiences to raise awareness and help others. PM me if you want to help and post comments about your experiences here. Let's get talking!

If you're looking for help, here are a couple of resources: StopBullying.gov & The Trevor Project
There's also a Cheer & Dance World facebook page to join at Bullying is Nothing to Cheer About

 

[CNYcheersweetie]

ITs just that some people don't get along from gyms and it makes confrontation and I think it would be amazing to have no bullying or drama

 

[pailum520]

I'm fairly sure more than half of all male cheerleaders have been at least singled out negatively for it at one point his life.

 

[lakerfantlc]

I saw bullying from cheer mafia parents...haha...it was nuts...but thats parents and us parents know how to avoid and deal with rabid cheer parents....as for the kids...ZERO tolerance!!! If you see it....squash it....PERIOD!!!!

 

[cheerchick13]

ive been bullied by my coaches so i left the gym

 

[MomOf2ThatsMe]

My kid got bullied by some kids on the bus for being a cheerleader. Long story short, some 5th & 7th grade boys started calling her EC Cassidie (a play on our gym name)which morphed into Easy Cassidie. She's 8. This is the type of stuff that is funny to bullies, sticks with the child who is being teased, and causes major depression for girls when they have a reputation by the age of 12 that is completely unwarranted. I find absolutely NONE of it funny, nor did I feel compelled to tell my kid that it is just something she has to buck up and deal with. And believe me, I am the absolute first person to call my kid out, but not this time.

 

[mommadonna]

It doesn't just happen in school or kids' activities...bullying is everywhere. I'm in my forties and I got bullied mercilessly at my last job by a coworker, who happened to be in her upper thirties. You'd think by then, people would grab a clue and stop being idiots, but whatever. I do believe that bullying is an unfortunate part of growing up. I have a zero tolerance policy for it if I see it, but I know my cp will have to deal with it on her own at some point. It's just a matter of being prepared for it and having the right attitude and support. I try to remember that life is really about 10% what happens and about 90% how we react to it. Bullying is a cruel phenomenon that usually has to do with the insecurity of the bully. Those of us who have something about us that sets us apart, such as talent, ability, etc will be especially prone to being bullied at one time or another. It is usually due to the jealousy resulting from the low self esteem of the bully. Just remember that you have something to be jealous of!!! Stay fabulous!

 

[mommadonna]

My kid got bullied by some kids on the bus for being a cheerleader. Long story short, some 5th & 7th grade boys started calling her EC Cassidie (a play on our gym name)which morphed into Easy Cassidie. She's 8. This is the type of stuff that is funny to bullies, sticks with the child who is being teased, and causes major depression for girls when they have a reputation by the age of 12 that is completely unwarranted. I find absolutely NONE of it funny, nor did I feel compelled to tell my kid that it is just something she has to buck up and deal with. And believe me, I am the absolute first person to call my kid out, but not this time.

Wow...I would be so mad if someone did that to my daughter, and I would find it very difficult not to get on the bus and give those kids a real piece of knowledge!!! How is it going? I'd be interested to know how you end up dealing with this one...it might help if it happens to us too!! I'll say prayers for your situation.

 

[pailum520]

A good standing tuck never hurts to shut bullies up (non-violent and fun to do). I was the first male cheerleader to ever attend me school and when I joined the varsity squad my sophomore year (well last year) my classmates didn't take too kindly. They stopped after the first home basketball game of the season when they saw me throw ro 7 bhs across the court at 3rd quarter. Just this season we had a game at a school a couple hours away and I was getting dirty looks and rude comments from just about every person in the gym, even the parents of the athletes on the other team. I just ignored and channeled the anger into my tumbling. I threw ro 2 bhs layout step out and stuck it. They must never had seen tumbling before because I watched them pick their jaws up off the floor and pull their eyes back into their head. I yelled "Go Bengals!" and went back to my seat.

 

[MomOf2ThatsMe]

Wow...I would be so mad if someone did that to my daughter, and I would find it very difficult not to get on the bus and give those kids a real piece of knowledge!!! How is it going? I'd be interested to know how you end up dealing with this one...it might help if it happens to us too!! I'll say prayers for your situation.

TRUST me, I thought about it. But... the last time I marched myself on a bus, I was informed that they can have you arrested I am not a helicopter parent by any stretch, and like I said in my last post I am by far the first to call my kid out (sometimes to the dismay of others) but when things are wrong, they are wrong. What (as of right now) has happened is that the kids have been written up on the bus. That's it. We moved to a new neighborhood a month ago and unfortunately they live here as well. So, we thought moving from the country to a nice neighborhood would be a great thing for her. At first it was, but since she has been ostracized by most of the other kids, it hasn't been so great. It's quite multi-fasceted right now, but the boys were the worst. There is just a whole social dynamic involved in this that she is not used to, and quite honestly she is very naive about it and doesn't pick up on a lot of the passive-aggressive social cues. As of right now I am just trying to keep her a little closer to home and reeling in the leash a little until some of this fire is extinguished. Thank you for your prayers- they certainly are very appreciated. She is certainly a sweet, sweet girl, and I really hate this for her.

 

[armycheermom]

A good standing tuck never hurts to shut bullies up (non-violent and fun to do). I was the first male cheerleader to ever attend me school and when I joined the varsity squad my sophomore year (well last year) my classmates didn't take too kindly. They stopped after the first home basketball game of the season when they saw me throw ro 7 bhs across the court at 3rd quarter. Just this season we had a game at a school a couple hours away and I was getting dirty looks and rude comments from just about every person in the gym, even the parents of the athletes on the other team. I just ignored and channeled the anger into my tumbling. I threw ro 2 bhs layout step out and stuck it. They must never had seen tumbling before because I watched them pick their jaws up off the floor and pull their eyes back into their head. I yelled "Go Bengals!" and went back to my seat.

Hate that you're being teased, but I LOVE the way you're handling it! Keep amazing all of the haters, while being a gentlemen! You are an amazing role model for male cheerleaders everywhere.

TRUST me, I thought about it. But... the last time I marched myself on a bus, I was informed that they can have you arrested I am not a helicopter parent by any stretch, and like I said in my last post I am by far the first to call my kid out (sometimes to the dismay of others) but when things are wrong, they are wrong. What (as of right now) has happened is that the kids have been written up on the bus. That's it. We moved to a new neighborhood a month ago and unfortunately they live here as well. So, we thought moving from the country to a nice neighborhood would be a great thing for her. At first it was, but since she has been ostracized by most of the other kids, it hasn't been so great. It's quite multi-fasceted right now, but the boys were the worst. There is just a whole social dynamic involved in this that she is not used to, and quite honestly she is very naive about it and doesn't pick up on a lot of the passive-aggressive social cues. As of right now I am just trying to keep her a little closer to home and reeling in the leash a little until some of this fire is extinguished. Thank you for your prayers- they certainly are very appreciated. She is certainly a sweet, sweet girl, and I really hate this for her.

Ugh, I hate that your cp is being bulled for doing something she loves! Have you tried contacting the bus company? Most companies have a zero-tolerance for bullying and since riding the bus is a privilege and not a right, they could be kicked off the bus. If that doesn't work, try contacting her school about their rules on bullying. Keep us updated and i'll be praying that this all ends soon!

 

[SheCheers]

we have had some problems with a girl on the team. it started with some snide comments one being "i was the best one on the team until you came to ____" keep in mind my cp was 6 and she was 7. she also told my cp "i'm the show star, i'm the best one on the team ::::oked her hard in the shoulder::::: you're never going to steal my spotlight." somehow they got paired up for stretching and the bully was stretching my cp and my cp said 'stop you're hurting me' and the girl said "too bad" and pushed harder. the bully's whole stunt group high fived eachother when my cp fell out of a stunt at practice, too.
at that point i went directly to the gym owner. i'm not sure exactly what was done, if anything, to the girl, but it has more or less stopped.

 

[CoachJulie]

we have had some problems with a girl on the team. it started with some snide comments one being "i was the best one on the team until you came to ____" keep in mind my cp was 6 and she was 7. she also told my cp "i'm the show star, i'm the best one on the team ::::oked her hard in the shoulder::::: you're never going to steal my spotlight." somehow they got paired up for stretching and the bully was stretching my cp and my cp said 'stop you're hurting me' and the girl said "too bad" and pushed harder. the bully's whole stunt group high fived eachother when my cp fell out of a stunt at practice, too.
at that point i went directly to the gym owner. i'm not sure exactly what was done, if anything, to the girl, but it has more or less stopped.

Not nice for your little one... I don't think it's unusual for kids this age to have attitudes similar to this. Many may already be prima donnas in their own home (I can tell you my daughter was a little spoiled), then they get in cheer and it's like a major spotlight to feed their ego. What's appropriate is stopping it quick with appropriate behavior modification tech by the coaches. For me, a high "5" by the stunt team would earn them all a seat to the side for the rest of the practice. It would also be worth pulling an older couple of athletes to sit down with them and chat about how the team respects each other's safety and each other's feelings. A "be like me" & "be like us" talk. That's just me. I can also share that sometimes it's difficult for coaches to know these things are going on. The stunt was pretty obvious, and it looks like your coach took quick action. But the snide remarks sometimes can go unnoticed, innocently by the coaches/staff. It's important parents share these incidents so a close eye can be kept and action taken before it gets out of hand. Most kids at this age adjust well when the boundaries are clear. I'll add that sometimes kids don't tell us what's going on when something negative is happening, and that's when it can become worse and create long-term negative feelings. Just my take...

 

[SheCheers]

For me, a high "5" by the stunt team would earn them all a seat to the side for the rest of the practice. It would also be worth pulling an older couple of athletes to sit down with them and chat about how the team respects each other's safety and each other's feelings.

yes, that's pretty much what happened with that incident. the little comments and such..., you're right, they can easily go unnoticed, especially when the bully knows to wait until they're out of earshot from the coaches. i also think it's important to teach the "victim" how to handle the situations. i told her when it comes to a safety issue, if she feels she's getting hurt, or will be hurt, to immediately go to the coach. otherwise politely avoid the person whenever possible. i think it's important for coaches to address that, too...what they would like the hurt party to do in these situations.

 

[ALittleBitTwisted]

Just by reading this thread makes my skin cringe...I actually stuck up for a close boy cheerleader who was constantly teased even moreso when he got to college. It's really unfortunate because these guys are indeed athletes just like the linebacker on the HS football team. My favorite proof of this is my former teammate on my college cheer team-here is an article my school wrote about him-He did both hockey and cheerleading http://www.thecaptainslog.org/2010/11/17/cheerleader-to-hockey-goalie-overnight/ Such a great story and he is the sweetest guy ever..I could not stand people making fun of him or teasing him, especially behind his back..that's when my "not so nice" side comes out!

Looking back on my 14 years of cheering (my entire life basically), I have dealt with bullying a little especially about just being a cheerleader in general. Things like "why don't you try doing a real sport??" etc. really ticked me off, but I learned to just ignore it because chances are the person saying it is jealous, clearly doesn't know the sport, and probably could never do what we do Point blank. It's the truth. Words hurt, but I'm glad I learned to stick up for myself and the sport without causing further conflict with a person or group of people. I typically was teased by guys, but there were also several run intos with girls too. Stay strong everybody and be proud of who you are and what you do!