All-Star I Hope You Lose - Nca & Nda All-star Nationals

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Mar 16, 2010
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NCA & NDA All-Star Nationals Week is upon us! I've spoken with so many coaches excited, nervous, and inspired to do well this weekend. The topics of sportsmanship and the value of winning have risen again - as it does every year at this time. I found the "I Hope You Lose" article I wrote two seasons ago and sharing it again seems appropriate.

My favorite part of this blog is the part in which I discuss having to be OK with losing customers that disagree with NCA & NDA's philosophies. In 2011, we had nearly 750 teams at our event - the largest in our company's history. Two years later, we are sitting at nearly 1000 teams - we've GROWN and I believe that's a result of our sticking by our guns. It's exciting to be able to share our philosophies with so many of you. The work is definitely worth it.

Regardless of whether or not you're headed to Dallas this weekend, this article is a great reminder of what it's all about! For some of you, I'll see you this weekend. For everyone else, good luck at wherever your next competition may be!

I HOPE YOU LOSE

Today is the day before check-in at NCA/NDA All-Star Nationals, I’ve been working feverishly for weeks, at such a fast pace I’m shocked I haven’t made more mistakes. The clock is ticking down to the start of what will be Varsity’s largest event this season and NCA’s largest event in our 63 year history. My ‘To Do’ list is far from done.

And shockingly enough, I’ve dropped everything to jot down these thoughts that I can’t get out of my head. In preparing for NCA Nationals, I’ve faced a lot of customers and potential customers with questions about why we do things the way we do and why we don’t do things the way they want us to. I’ve been told our decisions are ‘unfair’ more than once this month. As an Event Producer, it can be scary looking a customer in the eye and saying “I disagree with you and if that means I’ll never get your business, I’m gonna have to be OK with that.” Of course, I want EVERYONE at our events and I want everyone to be happy. But the truth is, you can’t be everything to everybody—so you need to be good at being who you are.

Luckily for me, who I am IS who my company is. When it comes to competitions, I believe in COMPETING. That statement sounds simple when positioned that way. Perhaps what I really mean is: when it comes to competitions, I believe in LOSING. So, I want to lose. I want my best friends to lose, I want my kids to lose and… I want you to lose.

When I look back on my childhood, adolescence, and even cheer coaching career, my defining moments weren’t moments of ultimate success. They were moments of ultimate disappointment. (Let me clarify, I had a wonderful childhood. I reread this paragraph and thought I sounded very Debbie Downer, but keep reading. I’ll explain…)

In 3rd grade, I got caught stealing Starbursts from 7-11. My mother made me walk up to the store manager and confess my criminal activity. Grounded. To my bed. An entire week.

In 8th grade, I went in on a scam with friends who came across a long distance access code that allowed me to call anyone in the country for FREE…until my mother received a phone bill one month for $700.

When I was 22, I had to break the news to my incredibly talented 3 time NCA National Champion team that this year’s title would not be going to us—but rather to the obviously less talented 2nd place team because one of our athletes (arguably) threw their head back too far in an arched cradle. What a minor detail to lose an important title over.

All of those moments HURT. They hurt BAD. But all of them helped me evolve into a better person. I haven’t stolen since 3rd grade. I learned in 8th grade that nothing in life is free. And as a coach, I always make sure my athletes’ technique is so flawless, it’ll never be questioned by a judge.

As an industry, we’ve lost sight of the value of the losses, of the competition, and of not winning. And when I say WE, I mean ALL OF US. We’ve all got that short term hunger to WIN. Event Producers want competitions in every saturated market because we want to be the biggest and win. Coaches won’t put an athlete without a standing back tuck on their Level 4 team because they want to win. Parents want to send their kids to a gym because they are known for winning.

Now, of course I’m speaking in generalities. And I’m using the extreme term of ‘WIN,” which could be replaced with the term “COMPETITIVE." We all want to be competitive at what we do. And being competitive means you have a shot at winning.

But what if we signed up for a competition to compete in a tough division, already knowing there wasn’t a chance in the world that we’d score higher than 20th place? What if we built our Senior Level 4 teams with athletes that DIDN’T have a standing back tuck, hoping that the other Level 4 teams would give our kids the push they needed to master new skills?

I’m so proud of our crew here at NCA and Varsity. We’ve had to make some tough decisions about divisions, registrations, and crossovers that, on paper, don’t translate to more business. But we’ve stuck by our philosophies that the most important part of a competition IS the competition. Because we stood by our philosophies, our event continues to grow.

It’ll be an interesting weekend. There are over 750 teams representing over 200 programs traveling to Dallas from more than 30 states and 3 countries with a dream of winning, with a chance of losing, but most certainly competing. If I had to guess, I would imagine that some teams are going to leave Dallas on Sunday disappointed with their placement and performance in Finals. That’s AWESOME. Disappointment will fuel self reflection, will increase determination and will motivate athletes to try harder at practice next week.

At the NCA/NDA Coaches Orientations, I’ve jokingly closed some of the sessions with the phrase, “Good luck, Coaches. For my sake, I hope you ALL WIN this weekend.” Everyone chuckles and go about their day. How about this year, I close it with “I hope you all lose.” Would that statement from NCA get us more teams? Probably not. But in some ways, I do hope you lose.

Above and beyond any other cheer event, I want NCA/NDA All-Star Nationals to be the pinnacle experience that teaches life lessons about success, failure, commitment, and dedication. If you want to take the easy path or win the easy title, this competition isn’t for you. But if you want to find out how much work you need to put in to be as good as the 1st place team, we might be the perfect fit.

Whether or not you’ll be competing with us in Dallas this weekend, we wish you well at your next competition. And If you don’t take home the title, be sure to leave the venue with that 3rd place trophy and a smile on your face knowing your athletes are the better because of it.

I hope you lose.
 
I share this every year. It's a classic.
 
so perfect. my fondest memories from competing are not the easy wins we had. they're more of the extra practices, setbacks, and roadblocks we faced. in order for WINNING to feal as good as it should, you need to LOSE. many coaches need to stop for a second and remember this. being undefeated and grand champions everywhere you go is not teaching your athletes anything.
 
I agree. And I don't expect the athletes to get it. They obviously aren't going to have as much foresight. But I am shocked when coaches don't see the bigger picture. I really, really appreciate the coach I had in all stars when I was in HS. He made me very aware that the benefits of competing would be much longer lasting than the trophy.
 
I agree. And I don't expect the athletes to get it. They obviously aren't going to have as much foresight. But I am shocked when coaches don't see the bigger picture. I really, really appreciate the coach I had in all stars when I was in HS. He made me very aware that the benefits of competing would be much longer lasting than the trophy.
I copied and pasted it to our gym's facebook page....I needed that as much as some of the kids there.
Amazing what a little perspective can do.
 
Both nervous and excited for my kids this weekend. It's one of the few venues where you can watch any level team and find something that makes you say "wow that was cool!" It truely brings out the best (and sometimes the worst) in these kids, coaches and fans. Safe travels everyone and we'll see you there.
 
I agree. And I don't expect the athletes to get it. They obviously aren't going to have as much foresight. But I am shocked when coaches don't see the bigger picture. I really, really appreciate the coach I had in all stars when I was in HS. He made me very aware that the benefits of competing would be much longer lasting than the trophy.
Definitely. Of course when I was competing all I wanted to do was win. But now when I look back I know that I couldn't have asked for a better coach. We were a small non-profit gym, with no level 5 team, or a big name to make us stand out. We didn't win everywhere we went, but when we did win, it was one of the best feelings I've ever experienced because we worked our tails off for it. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my coach and how the decisions I make today reflect what she taught me as an athlete. There will always be someone stronger, smarter, better than you. You're going to fail at things but it's about how you come back from it and turn it into a positive.

Now that I'm older I can see how competing was so much more than just cheerleading and really taught me important life lessons and shaped who I am. I work hard to instill these same values in the little ones I now coach. And I'm so glad that a huge, well-known, well-liked company (NCA) maintains this philosophy, whether people like it or not. One day, like me, they'll be thankful.
 
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