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Mamarazzi facebooked me and told me about this thread, so here's my story...
I came out, rather unwillingly, as a high school senior. I was terrified that the girls on my team would find out and wouldn't want me to back for them anymore. There was a video that went around school, which featured myself and my girlfriend at the time, kissing at a party. We were over in the corner, and thought we were being discreet (alcohol may or may not have been involved in this). When I was 15, I was dating a boy, but had a girlfriend on the side. There was a small group of us who identified as "bi", and we called ourselves "the secret society" (so lame lol)... From 10th grade up until the end of 12th grade, we had remained extremely private and had not told anyone outside of our group what we were doing together on weekends. Then, the video surfaced, and the rest was history. This happened a week after cheer ended, so I was actually relieved that I didn't have to deal with that aspect of it at all. I felt bad for my girlfriend, as she was only a freshman, and had to endure 4 years of people harrassing her.
I had decided that I didn't want to hide anymore. I was done doing anything "privately"or "discreetly"... This is who I am, take it or leave it. I knew that I wanted to be OUT when I got to college, and I had assumed that I wouldn't be able to do so as a cheerleader. I was so intent on never having to hide myself again, that I actually was ready to give up on cheerleading. (INSANE).... I had planned on shaving my head and being some kind of militant lesbian as soon as college started. Then, I was invited as a recruit to attend NCA college camp before my school's team had tryouts. I couldn't give up on cheer, so I decided, "oh well, what's another 4 years of being in the closet?"... It was worth it to me to keep cheering.
I may have been the luckiest lesbian in the world, because when I went to camp with them, I discovered that there were 2 lesbians on the team, and the coach at that time was a lesbian as well. It wasn't a big deal to anyone at all, and I was out to my teammates and everyone on campus within the first few days of my freshman year of college. I was still a highly coveted back, which was my biggest concern in being out in the cheer world. I can remember being upset at practice one day because the Christian fellowship on campus was praying outside of our gay club meeting, and they actually said "Thank you, God, for giving us AIDS to rid the world of homosexuals." I was disgusted and also extremely hurt by this. I was griping about how unfair it was that none of us choose to be this way, yet so many people are ignorant and judgemental. I had said that I felt like people look at me and that's all they see, maybe I had made a mistake in being so openly gay. One of the captains on my team said to me "When people ask me about you, I don't say you're my 'lesbian friend' or my 'lesbian teammate'. You're just my good friend, and my awesome teammate who happens to be a lesbian. Your personality is what attracts people to you, and no one really cares who you sleep with." I thought that was lovely:) Now, I'm coaching college, and am openly gay as a coach. I have a lesbian on my team, who the other girls joke is "my favorite" because of "lesbian power" lol... her story is interesting, she came out at 15 and was abused and rejected by her fundamentalist family. She was placed in foster care, and remains there until she turns 21 in a few months. For someone to experience that, all because of something they can't control, is beyond my comprehension. So, as much as we see progress, there are certainly still those out there who are like her, and experience major hardships because of their sexuality.
In terms of allstars, I think it's much more difficult to be a lesbian in the cheer industry than a gay man. Our sport is dominated by heterosexual females- both on the athlete side and the parent side of things. A gay man isn't going to try to date your 18 year old daughter, but he is going to come in handy during hair and makeup time at competitions. (SO stereotypical, I know. Obviously not all gay men are the same, just speaking from experience with the gay guys I've coached with.) Moms aren't questioning his intentions because they want to be his best friend. I was always hesitant to let my sexuality be known while coaching, because I don't know that heterosexual women always know how to respond to a lesbian. Now, mind you, I'm not a "butch" lesbian. But, I basically live in sweatpants and basketball shorts. I only wear makeup and do my hair for competition. Still, I don't typically exude effeminate qualities. I am confident in who I am and what makes me comfortable, in terms of how I look, act, etc. Not all heterosexual women could say the same. They can be very catty, gossipy, shallow, and insecure. Sometimes, a more independent, confident, self-assured female who doesn't feel the societal pressure to look or act a certain way can be seen as a threat.
That being said, in my last few months with the all-star team I once coached, I had become much more public with my sexuality, as my girlfriend had started attending team events and driving me to practices and such. I got positive feedback from all of the kids and parents, most of whom commented on how happy I looked! Even now, I am no longer coaching there, but when the kids and parents send me texts and emails, they ask how my girlfriend is. That's a great feeling:) I think it does speak volumes about the improvements in education since I was in high school, only 10 years ago. Kids nowadays grow up with a certain level of awareness and tolerance, and while I'm not going to sit here and tell you it's perfect, it's certainly a process that keeps evolving.
