All-Star It Gets Better...tell Your Story & Take The Pledge

[workbeatfiercesound]

This forum is specifically for NOH8 at all..it is a safe place to tell your story of how IT GOT BETTER for you....everyone within the cheerleading industry whether it be All-Stars, or School, or Recreational...or whether your part of the Staff of a Cheerleading Associated Company, a Coach, a Cheerleader, or a Cheer Parent ...we ALL need to stand together on this issue and END bullying.

I challenge each and everyone one of you to TAKE THE PLEDGE...on www.itgetsbetter.org ..... and please don't be afraid to tell your story because everyone has been through something and you never know .....your story may save someone else's life....think about it but most of all.....use your voice....

 

[canttouchthis]

NOH8 <3

 

[laughAlittle]

accidentally voted no, NO H8 coming from me ( :

 

[Rudags]

I struggled with my sexuality throughout my whole life, until about a year ago. Relating this to cheer - Cheerleading taught me a whole new love, specifically this year at my new gym in Chicago. I am the only gay coach (on nearly an all male staff) and the owners, my co-workers, my athletes parents, and my athletes are so accepting. I am honored to be a part of an industry that so supportive, not only regarding sexual orientation - but all aspects.

This next part is gonna get personal and deep, but I am not ashamed at all. Its made me who I am today. In regards to it getting better, I was a jock in High School. I was a football player, wrestler, track star, and baseball phenomenon. I was 'popular' growing up. I had good grades, several friends, and was in the 'cool; crowd. That is, up until I started cheerleading, my junior year. Then I was labeled as several gay slurs, lost several friends, and was talked about poorly based on my sports of choice. At the time, I considered myself straight. I had girl friends, was attracted to girls, etc. Due to all of the name calling, I hated High School, and in turn, I hated the whole state I grew up in. It made me depressed. I actually tried committing suicide when I was 17 which caused me to be in the Psych ward for few weeks.

Since then, I went to college to cheer and gained a huge passion for the sport. I was popular, open with my new sexuality, and engaged the new passion I had.

I am now 25 - and the happiest person I have ever been in my life. I have great friends, don't care what others think, and am out of the sheltered small town in Iowa where I grew up. It really does get better. Sometimes you just have to change your environment and be yourself.

To anyone out there struggling: It TRUELY, REALLY DOES get better. If I knew back then, what I do now, life would have been easier. High School is rough, no lies, but life is what you make of it. Don't are what others say, be yourself, and be happy! I feel for anyone struggling and give them the power and hope that if you fight through it, it will get better!!!

It gets better. Support NoH8.

 

[Mamarazzi]

Parents, please, support your children. No matter their orientation, they must learn, as we must teach them, self-acceptance and tolerance of others' differences. Do NOT allow careless slurs in your home like "that's gay," or "he's a f*g." This is the easiest way for hate to creep into your child's life. No matter which side if the issue you are on, please know what your children are experiencing on a daily basis. These are our babies!!

 

[workbeatfiercesound]

I struggled with my sexuality throughout my whole life, until about a year ago. Relating this to cheer - Cheerleading taught me a whole new love, specifically this year at my new gym in Chicago. I am the only gay coach (on nearly an all male staff) and the owners, my co-workers, my athletes parents, and my athletes are so accepting. I am honored to be a part of an industry that so supportive, not only regarding sexual orientation - but all aspects.

This next part is gonna get personal and deep, but I am not ashamed at all. Its made me who I am today. In regards to it getting better, I was a jock in High School. I was a football player, wrestler, track star, and baseball phenomenon. I was 'popular' growing up. I had good grades, several friends, and was in the 'cool; crowd. That is, up until I started cheerleading, my junior year. Then I was labeled as several gay slurs, lost several friends, and was talked about poorly based on my sports of choice. At the time, I considered myself straight. I had girl friends, was attracted to girls, etc. Due to all of the name calling, I hated High School, and in turn, I hated the whole state I grew up in. It made me depressed. I actually tried committing suicide when I was 17 which caused me to be in the Psych ward for few weeks.

Since then, I went to college to cheer and gained a huge passion for the sport. I was popular, open with my new sexuality, and engaged the new passion I had.

I am now 25 - and the happiest person I have ever been in my life. I have great friends, don't care what others think, and am out of the sheltered small town in Iowa where I grew up. It really does get better. Sometimes you just have to change your environment and be yourself.

To anyone out there struggling: It TRUELY, REALLY DOES get better. If I knew back then, what I do now, life would have been easier. High School is rough, no lies, but life is what you make of it. Don't are what others say, be yourself, and be happy! I feel for anyone struggling and give them the power and hope that if you fight through it, it will get better!!!

It gets better. Support NoH8.

Thank you so much for telling your story if we could get everyone to do the same i think we could make an enormous positive impact on this issue I'm so glad that you were able to get the help you needed and are able to stand on two feet today to tell your story the world is a better place because your in it. NEVER forget that.

 

[Num1Stunta]

@Mamarazzi facebooked me and told me about this thread, so here's my story...

I came out, rather unwillingly, as a high school senior. I was terrified that the girls on my team would find out and wouldn't want me to back for them anymore. There was a video that went around school, which featured myself and my girlfriend at the time, kissing at a party. We were over in the corner, and thought we were being discreet (alcohol may or may not have been involved in this). When I was 15, I was dating a boy, but had a girlfriend on the side. There was a small group of us who identified as "bi", and we called ourselves "the secret society" (so lame lol)... From 10th grade up until the end of 12th grade, we had remained extremely private and had not told anyone outside of our group what we were doing together on weekends. Then, the video surfaced, and the rest was history. This happened a week after cheer ended, so I was actually relieved that I didn't have to deal with that aspect of it at all. I felt bad for my girlfriend, as she was only a freshman, and had to endure 4 years of people harrassing her.

I had decided that I didn't want to hide anymore. I was done doing anything "privately"or "discreetly"... This is who I am, take it or leave it. I knew that I wanted to be OUT when I got to college, and I had assumed that I wouldn't be able to do so as a cheerleader. I was so intent on never having to hide myself again, that I actually was ready to give up on cheerleading. (INSANE).... I had planned on shaving my head and being some kind of militant lesbian as soon as college started. Then, I was invited as a recruit to attend NCA college camp before my school's team had tryouts. I couldn't give up on cheer, so I decided, "oh well, what's another 4 years of being in the closet?"... It was worth it to me to keep cheering.

I may have been the luckiest lesbian in the world, because when I went to camp with them, I discovered that there were 2 lesbians on the team, and the coach at that time was a lesbian as well. It wasn't a big deal to anyone at all, and I was out to my teammates and everyone on campus within the first few days of my freshman year of college. I was still a highly coveted back, which was my biggest concern in being out in the cheer world. I can remember being upset at practice one day because the Christian fellowship on campus was praying outside of our gay club meeting, and they actually said "Thank you, God, for giving us AIDS to rid the world of homosexuals." I was disgusted and also extremely hurt by this. I was griping about how unfair it was that none of us choose to be this way, yet so many people are ignorant and judgemental. I had said that I felt like people look at me and that's all they see, maybe I had made a mistake in being so openly gay. One of the captains on my team said to me "When people ask me about you, I don't say you're my 'lesbian friend' or my 'lesbian teammate'. You're just my good friend, and my awesome teammate who happens to be a lesbian. Your personality is what attracts people to you, and no one really cares who you sleep with." I thought that was lovely Now, I'm coaching college, and am openly gay as a coach. I have a lesbian on my team, who the other girls joke is "my favorite" because of "lesbian power" lol... her story is interesting, she came out at 15 and was abused and rejected by her fundamentalist family. She was placed in foster care, and remains there until she turns 21 in a few months. For someone to experience that, all because of something they can't control, is beyond my comprehension. So, as much as we see progress, there are certainly still those out there who are like her, and experience major hardships because of their sexuality.

In terms of allstars, I think it's much more difficult to be a lesbian in the cheer industry than a gay man. Our sport is dominated by heterosexual females- both on the athlete side and the parent side of things. A gay man isn't going to try to date your 18 year old daughter, but he is going to come in handy during hair and makeup time at competitions. (SO stereotypical, I know. Obviously not all gay men are the same, just speaking from experience with the gay guys I've coached with.) Moms aren't questioning his intentions because they want to be his best friend. I was always hesitant to let my sexuality be known while coaching, because I don't know that heterosexual women always know how to respond to a lesbian. Now, mind you, I'm not a "butch" lesbian. But, I basically live in sweatpants and basketball shorts. I only wear makeup and do my hair for competition. Still, I don't typically exude effeminate qualities. I am confident in who I am and what makes me comfortable, in terms of how I look, act, etc. Not all heterosexual women could say the same. They can be very catty, gossipy, shallow, and insecure. Sometimes, a more independent, confident, self-assured female who doesn't feel the societal pressure to look or act a certain way can be seen as a threat.

That being said, in my last few months with the all-star team I once coached, I had become much more public with my sexuality, as my girlfriend had started attending team events and driving me to practices and such. I got positive feedback from all of the kids and parents, most of whom commented on how happy I looked! Even now, I am no longer coaching there, but when the kids and parents send me texts and emails, they ask how my girlfriend is. That's a great feeling I think it does speak volumes about the improvements in education since I was in high school, only 10 years ago. Kids nowadays grow up with a certain level of awareness and tolerance, and while I'm not going to sit here and tell you it's perfect, it's certainly a process that keeps evolving.

 

[mariahnicole1216]

Love this thread<3 NOH8

 

[notmyrealname]

@Mamarazzi facebooked me and told me about this thread, so here's my story...

Now, I'm coaching college, and am openly gay as a coach. I have a lesbian on my team, who the other girls joke is "my favorite" because of "lesbian power" lol... her story is interesting, she came out at 15 and was abused and rejected by her fundamentalist family. She was placed in foster care, and remains there until she turns 21 in a few months. For someone to experience that, all because of something they can't control, is beyond my comprehension. So, as much as we see progress, there are certainly still those out there who are like her, and experience major hardships because of their sexuality.

I think this thread and the pledge are great things, people should feel comfortable to share, discuss, respectfully debate and question with the intent of learning. However, I do think it should be kept to your own personal story. It's irresponsible and rude to put someone else's story out there like that. If she wants the world to know her situation it should be up to her to tell the story. JMHO.

 

[MomOf2ThatsMe]

I think this thread and the pledge are great things, people should feel comfortable to share, discuss, respectfully debate and question with the intent of learning. However, I do think it should be kept to your own personal story. It's irresponsible and rude to put someone else's story out there like that. If she wants the world to know her situation it should be up to her to tell the story. JMHO.

Ummm... I think you need to re-read again. @Num1Stunta was telling her own story. She was told about the thread by one of our other posters.

 

[notmyrealname]

Ummm... I think you need to re-read again. @Num1Stunta was telling her own story. She was told about the thread by one of our other posters.

If you read the portion I quoted you'll see that I don't need to re-read anything. She's giving personal information about a girl she coaches. In my opinion, that is inappropriate.

 

[lovexyoux234]

If you read the portion I quoted you'll see that I don't need to re-read anything. She's giving personal information about a girl she coaches. In my opinion, that is inappropriate.

You should also see that her name was never mentioned. And appears to be openly lesbian. I see nothing wrong in her post as no specifics were given about other people as well as the fact that the people she mentioned appeared to be openly lesbian as well.

 

[Num1Stunta]

I think this thread and the pledge are great things, people should feel comfortable to share, discuss, respectfully debate and question with the intent of learning. However, I do think it should be kept to your own personal story. It's irresponsible and rude to put someone else's story out there like that. If she wants the world to know her situation it should be up to her to tell the story. JMHO.

People like you are the problem. You're making it seem like being gay is something that should be hidden, or that we should feel ashamed of it... ooohhhh god forbid anyone know... I'm an anonymous poster, who has given no information about where I coach, nor have I even mentioned the girl's name. All of that, and keep in mind, this is a story she told the entire team, she is an out lesbian on campus, and I told the most vague possible details about her situation. It's obviously not spreading her personal information when no one even knows who I'm talking about. It could be a made-up person or a made-up circumstance, for all you know. But, you know what, if it makes you feel better, I'll ask her tonight if she minds that I mentioned vaguely what happened to her, which is already public knowledge, in an anonymous web posting that would never be traced back to her in the first place... smh :banghead:

You've missed the point of this whole post. It isn't and shouldn't be an issue to discuss anyone's sexual orientation, ESPECIALLY when you're dealing with someone who is already out!

 

[Mom Jeans]

My hope is that all parents accept their kids for who they are, they are so many other things that your child can choose to do that is wrong, this in not a choice, its who you are.

Like I told my neighbor when she put of her "Yes on 8" sign (making gay marriage illegal)......If gays marrying bothers you so much, don't marry a gay person........... She hasn't talked to me since haha!!

 

[notmyrealname]

I didn't miss the point of anything. I stated first thing that I support the pledge and I support this thread. What I don't support is when people put other people's business out there. You may think you're anonymous on a message board and that's besides the point (even though that's probably not true). In my opinion, it doesn't matter if the girl has a rainbow flag tattooed to her forehead and wears a t-shirt that says "I'm a Foster Child". It's not your business or story to tell, especially as her coach. That's my point.

I am a true believer in judging people by their character and their heart, not by some label that society may place on them.