Need Words Of Wisdom From Those Who Have Been There -

Discussion in 'Allstar Cheerleading' started by mommy2mygirls, Jan 6, 2013.

  1. mommy2mygirls

    mommy2mygirls I text ACEDAD all the time

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    CP has heard words of encouragement from many - I keep sending her great little quotes I find on mental toughness and working through fear but I think hearing stories, ideas, thoughts, etc from cheer people who really KNOW what she is feeling/going through might help.

    CP landed her full on the tumble track the end of October... over 2 months ago. They are BEAUTIFUL (not just because she is mine lol, her coaches & coaches from another program that her coach was showing it to say so too) but, she will not take them to the floor. SHE is annoyed with herself for being afraid to take it to the floor - she has said physically she knows she can do it but is afraid of getting hurt - she is saying she is "wasting time", "just wants to throw it", etc -
    I am being the supportive mom "When you are ready, you will do it", "Anytime you spend in the gym is not a waste", etc but inside I want to scream GO DO IT ALREADY AND YOU WON'T BE AFRAID ANYMORE!!!!!!! Mean....terrible...rude... I know but.....it is killing me that I can't help her in anyway. I hate seeing her so frustrated and annoyed with herself. I know it has to be her, she has to get sick enough of waiting and brave enough to do it.

    She has made a little progress on the floor as she has attempted and gotten around to 1/2 on the floor but has crashed (she may have landed a half but I'm ot 100% sure) but she doesn't get around on it because she keeps stopping herself when twisting.

    It's the mental game - how do you break through the mental game?
     
  2. CheerBank

    CheerBank Slow your roll, Sparkle.

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    My cp is also working on her full - she can get around 3/4 on the tumble track by herself and with a minimal spot can land it beautifully on the floor. She will not push herself yet to do it by herself nor to try to get all the way around on the tumble track yet. She is sincerely afraid of getting hurt - we have seen kids with ACL tears over the years from fulls, plus my older ex-cp has severe ankle issues from tumbling.

    DH has alternated back and forth between being supportive of cp's privates to get this skill and to being annoyed that she is not trying to throw it on her on, even saying at one point that we should stop the privates if she does not attempt it on her own by February 1st and just take a break from them. My feelings? As much as it seems to me that she is ready to try it on her own (from watching the height she gets on her layouts as well as when she is spotted from her coach), I am sitting back, shutting up and letting her take her time to feel confident that she can master this on her own. Not sure what team your cp is on, but mine is on a jr 3 and in no way needs this skill for this season or possibly even next season.

    But yes, I am right with you in that sometimes I just want to shake her and say "you really are ready to do this on your own. If you'd just try it - once - you'd realize it". I feel your pain.
     
  3. mommy2mygirls

    mommy2mygirls I text ACEDAD all the time

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    I think I would be fine to sit by and let her work it out on her own but she is SO frustrated and annoyed with herself right now and she is on a Sr 5 going for a Worlds bid in 20 days :confused: ... Between those two things it feels like crunch time. I am concerned the longer she waits the bigger it will get in her head.
     
  4. ashscott41

    ashscott41 I have my own cheer message board

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    I first threw my full alone on tumble track in the winter of 7th grade, but didn't throw it on floor alone until April of 9th grade. Tumbling was never my strong point and I never felt my body was strong enough to make it over. During those two years I kept working them on track and with spots and tried improving my layout. This looooong time trained my body to know where it was in the air and how to make adjustments in the air. The only way I can describe it is that some day it will just click for her. I was on a senior 5 team who bombed in a big way at our last comp before our gyms first trip to worlds. I knew that I didn't want to look like that at worlds and if I could help my team in any way I was going to do it. I don't remember the full itself but having one of my bases tackle me in excitement after I landed is something I will never forget.

    My only advice would be to keep persisting and it will happen. Nothing about the physical process of tumbling is natural. Being scared shows your brain is working to protect your body and that's obviously a great thing! Don't put her on any kind of time table and say she has to have it by X date. That will only add more stress. The internal motivator will come eventually. Whether it is getting a bid, not getting a bid, getting bumped to a lower level team, whatever she needs to make it all click will come and when it does it will be something you'll all remember forever.

    Sorry this was so long and it didn't really add any advice, just know you're not alone! Good luck!
     
  5. mommy2mygirls

    mommy2mygirls I text ACEDAD all the time

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    Don't apologize for it being so long --- it is amazing to hear first hand from someone who struggled through it as well. Thanks for taking the time to post!
     
  6. CheerBank

    CheerBank Slow your roll, Sparkle.

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    That's obviously a completely different scenario from what I am dealing with. She really does need to dig deep within herself and realize if she wants it, she has to go for it, because nothing that anyone says can make her do it. Easier said than done, I know. Wishing her (and you) luck! But for the meanwhile, for you....:enjoyshow:
     
  7. cheermomforever

    cheermomforever Slow your roll, Sparkle.

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    It is like every new skill, you have it one day and the next you dont. My daughter threw her full on a non spring floor 2 years ago and then lost it and has finally gotten comfortable with it and is consistent this year. Unfortunately we as parents cannot help them. Hopefully she has a coach she trusts and can work on it with them. I think it also makes it harder when you have a date hanging in the air of when you need to do it :)>good luck to her, and U!!
     
  8. mommy2mygirls

    mommy2mygirls I text ACEDAD all the time

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    I swear sometimes this sport can make a person mental even from the sidelines! lolol
    We are very blessed and lucky that she has two amazing coaches who she loves and trusts completely - as do I. Guess I'll have to sit back and wait for her AH-HA! moment..... can't blame a mom for hoping to find something that could provide that AH-HA! moment ;)
     
  9. BuegeSmalls

    BuegeSmalls Uni designer and state IDer-Most positive shimmies Blondemafia

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    Just tell her to do it all ready, then you won't be afraid. I guess it kind of sounds harsh, but I had a mental block for three years (not fulls though) and I tell myself that whenever I start I get afraid to throw something again. For me, once I was confident in myself then I was able to get over it. Mental blocks (for me) were all about confident. If I was confident I wouldn't throw it (even with a spot) but if I was I could do it. Good luck to your daughter!
     
  10. kristenthegreat

    kristenthegreat Slow your roll, Sparkle.

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    You are braver than you believe, stronger than you feel, and smarter than you think.

    It's the one quote I look for when I'm having trouble when anything. Sometimes you get comfortable when you stay in that place of not having it, but not risking yourself (injury, loss, heartache). Like I've been hating my job lately, and on NY Day I said 'To heck with it!' and applied for a new one. I got one. Now I'm terrified I made a mistake and that it won't be as flexible, or I won't make as much money. But if I didn't have that soul-clenching, heart-stopping. moment of letting go and just trying something new, I'd never know what possibilities exist on the other side. So be brave. You have the pieces, and the process might be scary, but the picture is beautiful.

    It's also the beautifully terrifying feeling that is drawing me to become a personal fitness instructor. So we'll see :D
     
  11. NJ Coach

    NJ Coach 10's Across the Board....literally. Staff Member National Champion

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    Don't let fear stop you from success. I tell my kids all the time, "Faith over Fear"
     
  12. SharkDad

    SharkDad Most Positive, Best Parent '12 Staff Member National Champion

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    Of all the mental blocks I have heard about (and experienced with my CP), the best advice I have heard is to take away pressure, not add to it.

    The best approach I have seen and read about is to let your child know that you support them no matter what, you know they are capable of doing this, but it won't happen until they decide to happen. Their coach, their teammates, and their own mind will provide plenty of push. ashscott41 is a good example.

    You can try showing your CP the website http://fortheloveoftumbling.com/ It has great advice and videos for her to read and watch on her own to help boost her confidence or give different mental approaches.

    Feel free to vent on the parent section of the boards to get plenty of advice or support. Good luck!
     
  13. NJVarsityCheerMom

    NJVarsityCheerMom They call me Susie

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    You will always regret more the things you didn't do then things you have done! Taking risks is growth. I have moved many times for my career and each time was a risk but I know I would have been more upset that I didn't try. Success to you in 2013!
     
  14. AndrewSky

    AndrewSky Slow your roll, Sparkle.

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    Learning fulls are either incredibly easy or difficult. I was one of those mental cases who had the skill and would just not throw it. I needed that mental "touch" to throw a perfect full. Tell your cp DON'T GIVE UP!
    Once she throws it for the first time by herself, even if she eats mat, she will realize she's fine, and that's the worst that can happen.
    At least that's what happened to me.
    And when she finally lands it, tell her to serve a :shimmy:
     
  15. SmileyRyleigh

    SmileyRyleigh Slow your roll, Sparkle.

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    I worked on mine for 3 years and was pretty consistent in landing it the last 2 months before tryouts in 7th grade. (I took the year off to work on tumbling.) I threw my full and jumps to back at tryouts and made a level 2 team, so I didn't end up working on it at all that season. Well I did a little, but at team tumbling they refused to let me throw it. Then right before tryouts again I started throwing it and I finally made the level 4. I fractured my ankle and damaged the growth plate so I was out the rest of the season. I fractured it doing a cartwheel coming back from a water break:oops:
    I eventually got back to twisting 2 seasons later and my sophomore year I finally started landing it again and then I tore ligaments in my elbow and I had to stop. I've been really really inconsistent ever since but I haven't given up and I think my coaches supporting me and being there every step of the way really helped. I didn't like when either of my parents tried to talk to me about it. I appriciated that they cared and my dad even ended up coming to tumbling to watch me because he thought it would help but it made me do worse because if I didn't throw it I wasn't only disappointing my coach but I was disappointing my dad and my mom too. I dreaded car rides home because even though they were being supportive and saying "I know you can do it!" I just had a feeling of disappointment. I'm not sure if ill ever do it again, but I might.
    And for the record, this means I've basically been working on my full for over 6 years. It really is a mind game...