High School Urgent Advice Needed

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Jan 2, 2012
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Hi __________, sorry to have to tell you this but __________will not be cheering this weekend.
She had missing work in Algebra that she was supposed to complete by the end of the week
that she promised her teacher and me she would finish. She knew all week that the
consequence was no cheering or sports this weekend. She told me she had it done. She did
not, she didnt do any of it. The work isnt difficult for her and she had plenty of time.
She knew the consequences and made her choice"

Ive never in my 8 years of coaching received an email like this in my life. While I know academics come first.. how do you tell a parent this isnt how cheer works ? Shes a huge assest to our team and there would be a giant hole and she bases the center of our pyramid which is a 3 stunt pyramid..

EDIT: Our competition is TOMORROW

WWFD
What Would Fierceboard Do.
 
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Tell parent that the punishment also punishes the whole team and ask if she can find a punishment that effects only the girl and not the whole team. At our old gym we signed a contract that we would not use as punishment the "pull them from practice or comps" because that isn't fair to the whole team.
 
Awe that's awful! The owner of my gym tells parents at the beginning not to do this but to come to her if we do something bad/talk back to our parents and she will make the whole team condition for a whole practice I think it is. My mom always threatens this and I shut up haha. Hope it works out!
 
Not acceptable at all if she is going to be missing a competition. If her parent makes her miss as punishment then she wouldn't be a part of the team since she can't be counted on for that very reason.

If my CP had to condition bc of a team mates behavior outside of the gym I would be very unhappy. That isn't acceptable either.
 
I'm guessing this is a high school team, so it is much harder to put in any type of contract or rule that states a parent can't pull their kid for poor grades. I would still explain the situation to the parent, but at the end of the day it is their decision and you may have to come up with a plan B.
 
Hi __________, sorry to have to tell you this but __________will not be cheering this weekend.
She had missing work in Algebra that she was supposed to complete by the end of the week
that she promised her teacher and me she would finish. She knew all week that the
consequence was no cheering or sports this weekend. She told me she had it done. She did
not, she didnt do any of it. The work isnt difficult for her and she had plenty of time.
She knew the consequences and made her choice"

Ive never in my 8 years of coaching received an email like this in my life. While I know academics come first.. how do you tell a parent this isnt how cheer works ? Shes a huge assest to our team and there would be a giant hole and she bases the center of our pyramid which is a 3 stunt pyramid..

EDIT: Our competition is TOMORROW

WWFD
What Would Fierceboard Do.
Cheer Daily posted about this in 3 Mistakes Cheerleaders Make.

ETA: Lisa already tagged you.
 
Last edited:
Hi __________, sorry to have to tell you this but __________will not be cheering this weekend.
She had missing work in Algebra that she was supposed to complete by the end of the week
that she promised her teacher and me she would finish. She knew all week that the
consequence was no cheering or sports this weekend. She told me she had it done. She did
not, she didnt do any of it. The work isnt difficult for her and she had plenty of time.
She knew the consequences and made her choice"

Ive never in my 8 years of coaching received an email like this in my life. While I know academics come first.. how do you tell a parent this isnt how cheer works ? Shes a huge assest to our team and there would be a giant hole and she bases the center of our pyramid which is a 3 stunt pyramid..

EDIT: Our competition is TOMORROW

WWFD
What Would Fierceboard Do.

I would go with being sympathetic BUT... When people are angry it usually helps them calm down if you acknowledge their feelings. Not that you should have to, but in this situation you just want the mom to let the girl compete tomorrow.

So maybe something like: I understand you're angry and frustrated that she didn't do the work. You want to punish her by taking away what she loves most, cheer. I'm sure it would teach her a lesson. However, you're punishing not just your daughter but the whole team. She is a key part of the team and without her the routine will not look as good, it might not even work at all. I ask you to please reconsider and choose another punishment. If you need to pull her from cheer because of bad school results, please don't do so the day before the first competition!
 
I had a parent email me almost exactly like this earlier in the year. My response was simple in that it will count as unexcused absence since it's not an emergency and they are dismissed for missing games unexcused etc. The parent emailed me right back saying she understood her daughters importance to the team and let her come to games/practices.
 
Yikes. We re-iterate to parents that practices are mandatory and that missing practice or comps is not acceptable even if it's exam time. 1.5 hours (for level 1) and 2 hour practices are not going to be the difference between a pass or a fail the night before an exam. It's either you know the content or you don't and plan ahead to make a good study schedule. I'm guessing since its high school you can't have the same policy but there should be something along the lines of unexcused absences and that's very different than missing a practice. Definitely bring up in your response that it's not punishing just her daughter but the whole team and see what she says. It boggles my mind that parents do this. Especially when it's competitive cheer and they're paying for it. I never missed practices let alone a competition. I think I missed one comp in my 16 years of competing because I had pneumonia.
 
I'm with everyone here! Id have a face to face meeting ASAP. Forget the e mail back, or a phone call... A sit down with parent would be beneficial. (In my opinion, on how to move forward)
 
Hi __________, sorry to have to tell you this but __________will not be cheering this weekend.
She had missing work in Algebra that she was supposed to complete by the end of the week
that she promised her teacher and me she would finish. She knew all week that the
consequence was no cheering or sports this weekend. She told me she had it done. She did
not, she didnt do any of it. The work isnt difficult for her and she had plenty of time.
She knew the consequences and made her choice"

Ive never in my 8 years of coaching received an email like this in my life. While I know academics come first.. how do you tell a parent this isnt how cheer works ? Shes a huge assest to our team and there would be a giant hole and she bases the center of our pyramid which is a 3 stunt pyramid..

EDIT: Our competition is TOMORROW

WWFD
What Would Fierceboard Do.
Update?
 
Thank you for the advice guys! She ended up competing but her mother is not happy with me.
She does appreciate the "patronizing guilt trip" about a parenting decision.

She said its sad that one person can ruin something for the whole team. That simply isnt true - ruined isnt the correct word. Its just that they would suffer and be stressed out. Its actually a compliment because her daughter is such a great cheerleader.

Unfortunately, because she was allowed to compete yesterday she is pulling her from the next competition as a punishment but luckily we have 2 weeks until the next comp. Still stressful and wrong but it gives me breathing room.
 
Thank you for the advice guys! She ended up competing but her mother is not happy with me.
She does appreciate the "patronizing guilt trip" about a parenting decision.

She said its sad that one person can ruin something for the whole team. That simply isnt true - ruined isnt the correct word. Its just that they would suffer and be stressed out. Its actually a compliment because her daughter is such a great cheerleader.

Unfortunately, because she was allowed to compete yesterday she is pulling her from the next competition as a punishment but luckily we have 2 weeks until the next comp. Still stressful and wrong but it gives me breathing room.

I have a feeling it's not pretty when her teachers has something to say...
 
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