Cheer Coach Problems

[Dayna]

So the issues I have I'll try to keep it short I've been at this high school for 3 years now when I first started my sister attended a different high school junior year approached and she switched to my highschool tried out for cheer and made it just like every other girl , no favoritism seeing how we hired professional judges and she learned the routine just like everyone else the chitter chattter started amongst the girls asking her if she already knew the routine because she was my sister I looked passed it .. now it's her senior year she tries out like everyone else and makes it , no big problem right ? Wrong she is now a flier and a good one at that , but the drama started the first day of my summer practice I get a phone call of one of my very good cheerleader saying she quits she doesn't like the coaching amongst a bunch of other complaints but one that stuck out is I show favoritism and she can't believe my sister is a flier , I had a talk with my team the same day and we squashed it . We practice stunting everything seems good atleast to me , we attend camp and all hell breaks loose everything comes out no one one want to stunt my sister they don't feel like they can talk to me because my sister is on the team and I'm at a lost for words my sister is in tears because she never knew people felt that way about her I don't see how anyone can say I show favoritism cause I truly don't , i lost a lot of good people this year due to financial situations Including a really good flier i made the best decision for the team as far as stunt groups and no matter what I show favoritism , she flies FAVORITISM, if she's not in the back row FAVORITISM , if I ask her to do something for me FAVORITISM it's ridiculous I just want to quit

Sorry guess that wasn't short after all .., I need help nothing works I'm the only coach who wants to coach varsity I'm all they got and they are slowly making me regret returning this year , I don't want this to be a horrible senior year for my sister because the girls don't feel like they can trust her or talk to me

What would u do?

 

[Katie W]

I think that you should first talk to your team about it. If this was happening on my team, my coach would probably create a stunt group with the best bases and back spot who don't think you're playing favorites and have them stunt with each flyer to show the rest of the team that your sister is a good flyer who deserves her spot. If your school has a JV team have the JV coach and athletes watch the routine and critique it, if they think your sister is in an unfair spot in any part of the routine, consider moving her spot. If you have captains talk to them too. But most importantly make sure that your athletes know that there's no favoritism and that they can't start drama about your sister or any other teammate.

 

[queenie]

I think you should talk to the team as a whole too to squash the drama. But if the WHOLE team has a problem with favouritism, then it's something you should listen to and address. Can you have an open forum where people can come and just get things off their chest? Or what about a team building day? Maybe a retreat with the intention of building trust and opening communication?

 

[CheerItFullOut]

So, I'm going to go Opposite of what everyone is saying and say.. Stop having talks at his point. You said you had a talk and gave kids a chance to address it... And everything was supposed to be "done"... Now it's not.
Heads up: the kids are now trying to hi jack your squad.
THEY want to take control... Because they want Susie flyer to be in your sisters place.. And are using "favoritism" as an excuse. DO NOT LET THEM TAKE CONTROL.
And more importantly, do not be afraid to loose a few good athletes in the name of making a great team... This is where entitlement is bread.
If I were you, I would establish, there is zero favoritism ... I gave you all a chance to talk about it and squash it... It was supposedly done - now it's not... So now it's NOT about favoritism ... It's about entitlement. And if you feel one person is entitled to do something over another... You can entitle your way off the squad.
I would document your conversation you had before... Document the last one you have in a professional (uncomplaining) e mail to admin / advisor giving them the heads up that some kids are refusing their "duties" as a cheerleader to stunt due to flyer preferability (like that word ? and are using the fact that you have a sibling on the squad to get their way. Note: DO NOT make this about your sister. -because if what you have stated is fact ... It's not. Express that your job as a coach is to first and foremost do what is best for he squad as a whole, place individuals in the best positions posible stunt wise for the success of the season. You simply would not and can not sacrifice the success of your season for your family member as it supersedes your duties as a safe and effective cheer coach. If they as a squad do not understand and trust that, they are in the wrong program

 

[Cheer Dad]

First and foremost, punctuation is very important. As you spend some time around here you will learn the grammar police are a real thing in our community.

When you say you squashed the talk about your sister flying do you mean everyone understood why she was a flier this year or it was squashed because you said you weren't talking about it?

Being a relatively new coach with this team is it possible you are not following long held traditions at the school and that is most upsetting to the kids?

Who determined your sister was to be a flyer?


**j'applaudis avec mes cuisses de tonnerre**

 

[Dayna]

First and foremost, punctuation is very important. As you spend some time around here you will learn the grammar police are a real thing in our community.

When you say you squashed the talk about your sister flying do you mean everyone understood why she was a flier this year or it was squashed because you said you weren't talking about it?

Being a relatively new coach with this team is it possible you are not following long held traditions at the school and that is most upsetting to the kids?

Who determined your sister was to be a flyer?


**j'applaudis avec mes cuisses de tonnerre**

When stated that I squashed it I mean I had a talk with the squad and explained why she is a flier this year and from that meeting everyone claimed to have understood .

And I'm not a new coach this is my 3rd year I came in when they started this new cheer program with new coaches so majority of my squad I have been with since they were freshmans and sophomores our whole dynamic has changed seeing how the Coaching staff has changed again and I'm the only coach that isn't new so yea things have changed a little and i figure they don't like the change because the old traditions have changed due to the new head coach buts it's honestly for the better

Ultimately I make all decisions for stunting seeing how I'm the most seasoned and experienced in stunting compared to the other coaches , they are fairly new , we all come together but I have the last say so on who flies and bases


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[Dayna]

So, I'm going to go Opposite of what everyone is saying and say.. Stop having talks at his point. You said you had a talk and gave kids a chance to address it... And everything was supposed to be "done"... Now it's not.
Heads up: the kids are now trying to hi jack your squad.
THEY want to take control... Because they want Susie flyer to be in your sisters place.. And are using "favoritism" as an excuse. DO NOT LET THEM TAKE CONTROL.
And more importantly, do not be afraid to loose a few good athletes in the name of making a great team... This is where entitlement is bread.
If I were you, I would establish, there is zero favoritism ... I gave you all a chance to talk about it and squash it... It was supposedly done - now it's not... So now it's NOT about favoritism ... It's about entitlement. And if you feel one person is entitled to do something over another... You can entitle your way off the squad.
I would document your conversation you had before... Document the last one you have in a professional (uncomplaining) e mail to admin / advisor giving them the heads up that some kids are refusing their "duties" as a cheerleader to stunt due to flyer preferability (like that word ? and are using the fact that you have a sibling on the squad to get their way. Note: DO NOT make this about your sister. -because if what you have stated is fact ... It's not. Express that your job as a coach is to first and foremost do what is best for he squad as a whole, place individuals in the best positions posible stunt wise for the success of the season. You simply would not and can not sacrifice the success of your season for your family member as it supersedes your duties as a safe and effective cheer coach. If they as a squad do not understand and trust that, they are in the wrong program

That was very nicely said I appreciate your advice I will defiantly take hear to that , there is honestly a sense of entitlement for these girls last year we had a different head coach and let's say the girls ran the squad she always undermined me and everything I said never stuck cause she would go behind me back and make exceptions this year it's whole new cheer program new head coach new advisor and let's say things are shaken up all the coaches are on the same page no one undermines each other and I think the girls don't like it so this can be a stunt the girls are pulling to get their way so thank you that gave me a whole different outlook on this situation


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[Dayna]

I think that you should first talk to your team about it. If this was happening on my team, my coach would probably create a stunt group with the best bases and back spot who don't think you're playing favorites and have them stunt with each flyer to show the rest of the team that your sister is a good flyer who deserves her spot. If your school has a JV team have the JV coach and athletes watch the routine and critique it, if they think your sister is in an unfair spot in any part of the routine, consider moving her spot. If you have captains talk to them too. But most importantly make sure that your athletes know that there's no favoritism and that they can't start drama about your sister or any other teammate.

Yea I honestly had to start from square one and shake the stunt groups up I rearranged everything and I can honestly say it working out a few girls aren't happy about the change but I can't satisfy everything thank u so much for your advice


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[Dayna]

I think you should talk to the team as a whole too to squash the drama. But if the WHOLE team has a problem with favouritism, then it's something you should listen to and address. Can you have an open forum where people can come and just get things off their chest? Or what about a team building day? Maybe a retreat with the intention of building trust and opening communication?

No it's not favoritism it's a sense of entitlement for these girls they once ran the squad and had everything their way now that we have changed things and got a new head coach they don't like that they have no say so in anything we do and this is possibly one way that they can get their way I never showed favoritism in any kind of way so it hit me from left field and threw me for a loop I have upcoming team bonding days coming up so this should be interesting


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[dawgshow]

No it's not favoritism it's a sense of entitlement for these girls they once ran the squad and had everything their way now that we have changed things and got a new head coach they don't like that they have no say so in anything we do and this is possibly one way that they can get their way I never showed favoritism in any kind of way so it hit me from left field and threw me for a loop I have upcoming team bonding days coming up so this should be interesting


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I thought you said that you've been with them the last 3 years?

 

[Dayna]

I thought you said that you've been with them the last 3 years?

I have been with them for the last 3 years but this year there a whole new coaching staff I remained the varsity coach but we have a new head coach assistant coach and advisor , which is the cause of all the changes


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[Cheer Dad]

I have been with them for the last 3 years but this year there a whole new coaching staff I remained the varsity coach but we have a new head coach assistant coach and advisor , which is the cause of all the changes


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You are the new varsity coach this year, correct?


ETA: any clue what may have happened after the meeting that caused the girls to change their minds?

To be honest, regardless of how good of a flyer your sister is it definitely looks suspicious to have a coaches relative with no prior experience as a flyer suddenly become one. Just my opinion but not the easiest position to learn.

From a safety stance, depending on the difficulty of stunts performed, I can understand some concern of safety as inexperienced flyers don't always have the best body control and flying arms and legs hurt bases.

**j'applaudis avec mes cuisses de tonnerre**

 

[Dayna]

You are the new varsity coach this year, correct?


ETA: any clue what may have happened after the meeting that caused the girls to change their minds?

To be honest, regardless of how good of a flyer your sister is it definitely looks suspicious to have a coaches relative with no prior experience as a flyer suddenly become one. Just my opinion but not the easiest position to learn.

From a safety stance, depending on the difficulty of stunts performed, I can understand some concern of safety as inexperienced flyers don't always have the best body control and flying arms and legs hurt bases.

**j'applaudis avec mes cuisses de tonnerre**

No this is my third year as a varsity coach

And she's a experienced a flier she has flew every since she's been a cheerleader she broke her shoulder flying which is why she didn't fly last year but now she's healed and back flying regardless i would have all new beginner level flyers because my whole squad is new and my only experienced flyer quit due to financial reasons

This year is just a tough trying year I'm making the best of it so far stunt groups have been changed and it appears to be working with the new adjustments


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[Cheer Dad]

No this is my third year as a varsity coach

And she's a experienced a flier she has flew every since she's been a cheerleader she broke her shoulder flying which is why she didn't fly last year but now she's healed and back flying regardless i would have all new beginner level flyers because my whole squad is new and my only experienced flyer quit due to financial reasons

This year is just a tough trying year I'm making the best of it so far stunt groups have been changed and it appears to be working with the new adjustments


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I guess I misread the original post because it sounded to me like your sister had no flying experience at all.

That does change my perspective on fast and I agree that changing the stunt groups around was probably for the better. keep us posted


**j'applaudis avec mes cuisses de tonnerre**