OT Do I have bad coaches?

[brooklynncheers]

I've been pondering this question for a while. I love the sport of cheer, but so far it's been extremely unenjoyable. The coach just doesn't seem to like me whatever I do. My coach has favorites, and it's clear who they are. I am captain along with two others this year. The other two captains are the favorites. One, is a boy who if he quit, would make it difficult for the team as he is one of our best. The other is a girl, who is my good friend. The coach tends to yell at me a ton. For example, if we work on stunts and my stunt group fails she'll pause the music and scream at me. She usually blames me for stunts not hitting, as she called me weak. I took this as a means to pick myself back up, so I started weightlifting regularly. This has helped me a lot, as (besides the guy), I can lift the most on the team. I thought that would solve the problem of her yelling at me, but she still blames me for stunts not hitting. There was another time when I had gotten a concussion, and I had to be out for 1 week. When I told my coach the news, she got very mad. She said that I am allowed one day of rest before I have to jump back in. I took what I could get. I went home that day, and lots of girls told me how she had talked bad about me at practice, saying that I was lazy. She also plays favorites because she lets the guy treat us how he sees fit. The guy has a pretty bad temper, and when we aren't hitting stunts, he'll often yell at us, push at us, curse us out, etc. She watches this happen and says nothing. Lastly, she just does things such as slut-shaming me, telling me I'm the worst of the three captains, etc. She doesn't treat us all fair. I am able to handle it a little better, just because this is my last year and I'm thinking once I'm done I can go back to track and never have to go through this again. However, it's gotten to be an issue where my own teammates have come up to me, saying how they want to quit because the coach is horrible. We just got this cheer program back a year ago, and I don't want it to die. However, so many people have quit, and it's not because they hate the sport or the team. It's because they hate the coach. I don't know if I should confront the coach directly, as my teammates coming up to me wanting to quit had just broken my heart. Should I talk to her? or should I let the situation be?

 

[Cheerdad5]

She sounds like a horrible leader. No one should have to deal with her being a bully. Stand up for yourself and the next time she makes those inappropriate comments, speak louder than her and tell her not to speak with you that way.

 

[sparkles pony]

She sounds like a horrible leader. No one should have to deal with her being a bully. Stand up for yourself and the next time she makes those inappropriate comments, speak louder than her and tell her not to speak with you that way.

I agree with your comment I have been in cheerleading for 7 years already and the first 3 years were hard and they were hard to get used to and sometimes they were nice and sometimes in a not nice mood and this year I don’t want to sprain my ankle or my knee.

 

[CoachHannah]

If you’re a minor, absolutely under no circumstances speak to coach yourself. They’ve clearly proven themselves as someone who cannot act appropriately and non-abusively with you. Get your parents involved, and if they won’t, then you and other teammates take this to your athletic director or principal (or if this is an allstar program, your gym owner, though it doesn’t sound like it from your description).



This is absolutely inappropriate coaching behavior. To tell you that you need to be back in a routine after one day’s rest after a concussion is irresponsible and reckless with your health. I am assuming you are young, and trust me I get that people-pleasing tendency at that age, but under no circumstance should you risk your health, even if an adult tells you to. In the future, it’s “sorry coach but I’m out for as long as my doctor and/or school policy tells me to be.” It is not worth it long-term, I promise, and good coaches will NEVER compromise your long-term wellbeing. Ever.



It would be very sad if this program died due to inability to replace this coach, but it is infinitely a better alternative than a program that is actively eroding at all of your mental health and allowing you to be treated poorly. You all deserve better, best of luck.