All-Star I hope someone can help me. Retirement blues .

[Cheermom TLC]

So my amazing daughter started as a J1 at a fairly well-known gym in 2009..she loved it, and we loved watching her love it. Besides the obvious tumbling blocks, we, and her coaches, were really able to see her portential. She ended up being a beast of a side/main base and she never, in 60+ competitions, dropped a stunt or had any other technicality. Sure, we wasn’t that flexible, had terrible jumps , ok dancing, but virtually no issues until a tumbling block in 2020 which never came back. Regardless, she a was beast as a bae and and that was her strength.

We (my spouse and I), devoted so much time to practices, privates, show-offs, comps, etc. We spent 10 years celebrating wins and dealing with losses, but we enjoyed traveling to different parts of the country, Worlds, Summit, AS Worlds, Etc and it was really a very family-oriented experience which we all truly enjoyed.

Last year she decided it was her last year on a Worlds team and she wanted to move on to coaching. I applaud her tenacity and worth ethic, she is currently coaching a J2 flex, and Prep team. Although she has rough practices, she IS good coach and the kids love and respect her. She has never, not once, mentioned joining another Worlds team. Mentally and physically she cannot do it anymore, which is fine,

I, myself am having a horrible time. I have removed all SM accounts from the team, and if someone forwards or reposts something from her old team, I cannot watch it. I cannot listen to the mix. I am so sad, and depressed, and bitter about her not being an athlete anymore. I never tell her this, of course, but I find find myself watching old NCA and Worlds videos when she was on those teams and am struggling with the fact that that life is over. I am happy that she is continuing to be in AS cheer by coaching, but whenever I see a clip of the worlds team she was on last year, I feel like my heart is breaking.

Hoping for some words of encouragement, or a way to deal with these intense emotions

 

[Keep_Believing]

It’s important to love and support your kids, but living vicariously through them isn’t healthy. I say this with kindness and love, I’d recommend seeking counseling or support for yourself.

 

[catlady]

..she loved it, and we loved watching her love it.

We (my spouse and I), devoted so much time to practices, privates, show-offs, comps, etc.

we enjoyed traveling to different parts of the country, it was really a very family-oriented experience which we all truly enjoyed.

I find find myself watching old NCA and Worlds videos when she was on those teams and am struggling with the fact that that life is over.

Family time and emotional investment, are the key take aways I'm reading in your post.
You labled yourself as a "cheer" mom, when reality is, you are just like any other mom who enjoys family time and investing in something they feel is beneficial to their kid(s).

With that said, you also stated, "mentally and physically she can't do it anymore." .......
This is where you need to step away from the videos and really let that simmer on low for awhile. You said, "which is fine, .....I, myself, am having a horrible time." Great news mom, that "horrible time" is actually a choice you can change. You can choose to replicate that joy by planning new family trips, continuing to invest in her, and cheer her on in her new endeavors. Being sad after living a great chapter in life is normal, but you just need to start planning new fun things you can do with your family with that money!

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Reinhold Niebuhr