All-Star Md Gymnastics Instructor Arrested....

[Michael White]

I actually never said that they can't control their urges nor do I think it's your fault that the athlete has a crush on you. I'm saying a gym probably can avoid issues by not having you coach girls your age. It eliminates some of these situations being discussed on the board. I'm not even saying it should NEVER happen. I just think the HEAD coach shouldn't be a young male.



It is. I'm not saying it's how it SHOULD be done but given some of the things I seen it could've made a big difference.

I'm the LAST person who thinks all guys are deviants or out to get your little girls/boys. I have a brother in his early 20s, he's friendly and many younger girls like him. We are 3ish years apart in age so if my brother took me and my friends somewhere, parents always knew and he always kept a distance just to avoid accusations. I've seen him pull back to make sure a younger girl didn't get the wrong message.

Why not just not hire any men. /s

 

[cheerisloving]

Why not just not hire any men. /s

I'm not going to argue or continue to defend my position. I've actually had several male coaches, never was touched inappropriately nor did I ever develop a crush on them. But I've seen young men/older men get caught up in the lies or drama dealing with a younger girl with no supervision or with limited boundaries. I think limiting or easing in the interaction between male coaches and older female athletes makes a huge difference. I just think a close age range with coaches/athletes can not only be an issue with attraction but also discipline. Which is why I don't think the head coach of a senior team should be the 22 year old alum who probably cheered with the athletes they're coaching. I've been on teams where the coach was actual friends with some of my teammates and that relationship spills over into cheer. And yes predators can be women too which why my issue with the age goes for both females and males.

 

[MissCongeniality]

At a gym my daughter was at, it was a young female coach who behaved in an inappropriate manner with teenage girls. Oh, and she's still coaching.

 

[KPep]

@SharkDad @BlueCat

While all of these are hypotheticals, here is my suggestion to any business owner dealing with employees and minors, document everything and include all witnesses. If in this example a male coach accidently touched a child while tumbling and mom is being a lot crazy, I'd document. I, also, think that "calling the police" has taken on an extreme connotation, when a conversation only has to go something like this:

Hi my name is _____, I own a gym that deals with minors. A text, situation, etc. was brought to my attention dealing with my adult coach and minor child. Here is the situation, does this need to be reported?....."No? Great thank you. May I have your name for my documentation? Thank you Officer Jones." Then document everything for your records.

Worst/best scenario, they take the coaches name, run it through a data base and you have done your job in protecting a minor, yourself, business and employee involved. If a situation is brought up years later and you wind up where the media, or worse yet, a parent of an abused child claims you could have done more, you have the documentation that says on "February 3rd at 8:30 PM, I took the following measures: .........." You haven't ruined anyone's life, they ruined it on their own accord if the police feel it warrants being run in the system and something is found or the situation is bad enough they feel it needs to be investigated. Yes, this is just my opinion but, I know this is how large corps deal with Human Resource situations and it is based on recommendations from the corporate lawyers. Edited to add, always include all witnesses.

This is what we do in schools here as well. As a teacher, I am required to have a journal where every fact of every incident is documented.

 

[Michael White]

I'm not going to argue or continue to defend my position. I've actually had several male coaches, never was touched inappropriately nor did I ever develop a crush on them. But I've seen young men/older men get caught up in the lies or drama dealing with a younger girl with no supervision or with limited boundaries. I think limiting or easing in the interaction between male coaches and older female athletes makes a huge difference. I just think a close age range with coaches/athletes can not only be an issue with attraction but also discipline. Which is why I don't think the head coach of a senior team should be the 22 year old alum who probably cheered with the athletes they're coaching. I've been on teams where the coach was actual friends with some of my teammates and that relationship spills over into cheer. And yes predators can be women too which why my issue with the age goes for both females and males.

You have to also see how blatantly misandrist this is though... if the young male coach is the best coach, then by all means, he should be the head coach.

 

[cheerisloving]

You have to also see how blatantly misandrist this is though... if the young male coach is the best coach, then by all means, he should be the head coach.

I'm not against men, I'm not against male coaches. The best coach SHOULD be the coach. But there needs to be something in place to protect the athlete AND coach from any claim of inappropriate behavior. Maybe that means you don't get to head coach a senior team your first year. Maybe you assitant coach. I feel the same way about female coaches.

 

[Eyes On The Prize]

I'm not against men, I'm not against male coaches. The best coach SHOULD be the coach. But there needs to be something in place to protect the athlete AND coach from any claim of inappropriate behavior. Maybe that means you don't get to head coach a senior team your first year. Maybe you assitant coach. I feel the same way about female coaches.

That "something" that protects the athletes and coaches is boundaries. You put strict, clear boundaries in place and make sure coaches, athletes, and parent know said boundaries.

Telling men or young people they can't coach because the person in charge can't put boundaries in place and adhere to them isnt a solution.

 

[dat.jpp]

Let's toss another hypothetical in there.

Male coach accidentally grabs a female tumbler/flyer on the breast while trying to catch her and prevent her head from hitting the floor. Contact is extremely incidental and corrected immediately. Child is not groped in a sexual way at all and thinks nothing of it. Mom hears what happened and demands his firing and the police be called?

Should he be fired and police involved?


**Slip n Slide. Official sponsor of Worlds 2016**

Fired for trying to not make a girl/boy not die or get paralyzed by head injuries? Someone would HAVE to be drunk to fire the person who tried saving a life. Why would they get fired and have the police involved? "YOUR GETTING ARRESTED FOR SAVING A LIFE!"

 

[dat.jpp]

And some males in their 20s are not attracted to females...

right

 

[AshleyErin]

I'm not against men, I'm not against male coaches. The best coach SHOULD be the coach. But there needs to be something in place to protect the athlete AND coach from any claim of inappropriate behavior. Maybe that means you don't get to head coach a senior team your first year. Maybe you assitant coach. I feel the same way about female coaches.

How is assistant coaching the same team any different than head coaching? You still have the same amount of exposure to the athletes.

 

[Beans100]

That "something" that protects the athletes and coaches is boundaries. You put strict, clear boundaries in place and make sure coaches, athletes, and parent know said boundaries.

Telling men or young people they can't coach because the person in charge can't put boundaries in place and adhere to them isnt a solution.

I agree with you. Maybe gym owners need to sit down with every single team and set the boundaries.
1. All communication between coaches and athletes need to go through a group Facebook group.
2. The owner must be CCed on any email communication between athletes and coaches
3. Athletes may not contact their coach in a private message, same for coaches
4. All communications are public to the owners
5. Any rule breaking = 1st time- meeting with owner and parents, 2nd time- probation, 3rd time- removal from the gym

I also think that all gyms should be armed with cameras. It's good for security as well as accountability.

 

[SL&AM]

This escalated quickly...

We have been part of a gym where they didn't let the 21 year old ex-all star coach for the senior team because of the age gap. TBH, I thought that was taking things too far and I continue to think that way now. If you have to question, for even a second, that your young coach is going to get entangled with your athletes then perhaps they're not the best person for the job? After all, the job is working (mostly) with minor children whether they're 4 or 17, so there needs to be a level of maturity shown just to be able to handle that type of responsibility.

 

[cheerisloving]

How is assistant coaching the same team any different than head coaching? You still have the same amount of exposure to the athletes.

Assistant coach's especially the younger ones usually work under the supervision of the head coach. They aren't making all the decisions.

 

[Michael White]

This whole thread is wild. Predators are terrible, no one is debating that. That doesn't make everyone a predator though, which in my opinion, if you have to "limit" or punish a high risk (who exactly is high risk??) coach, then the whole situation has gone way too far. The same argument could be used against any demograpic.

Maybe I'm biased because I'm a young, straight, male coach, but I don't think anyone should be targeted as being a high risk to abuse young athletes.

The most important takeaway here. Set rules to keep this thing from happening.

1. No one on one instruction whatsoever.

2. Have a set of conditions that athletes and coaches must follow or have the risk of termination.

3. Have ways to be accountable. "Incident reports" "CC owners/ head coaches" "Professional Work Ethic Training"

 

[AshleyErin]

This escalated quickly...

We have been part of a gym where they didn't let the 21 year old ex-all star coach for the senior team because of the age gap. TBH, I thought that was taking things too far and I continue to think that way now. If you have to question, for even a second, that your young coach is going to get entangled with your athletes then perhaps they're not the best person for the job? After all, the job is working (mostly) with minor children whether they're 4 or 17, so there needs to be a level of maturity shown just to be able to handle that type of responsibility.

I'm extremely thankful that my gym has the same mentality that you do. I was 18 and assistant coaching a senior team, I am now 21 and head coaching another senior team.

I feel like this entire "blurred lines" scenario isn't really indicative of age. If someone isn't mature enough to see that they are crossing a line than it won't matter if Billy (or Brenda) Coach is 22 or 42.