1st Year Cheer Dad Is This Normal?

[Littlebear12]

she's pretty adamant that she's going to the dance

 

[StephlCurry]

I suspect I'm going to get flamed for this post but I'll do it anyway. on Monday are gym did a SurveyMonkey to ask which event the team wanted to go to. We had previously been told you were going to Orlando in late April now after the survey monkey that's been changed to Chicago on the 6th of April this poses a huge problem for us. My wife who is the president of the PTA for our entire school district had intentionally scheduled my daughter's school Daddy Daughter Dance so that it would not conflict with my daughters cheer competitions. we had a custom dress made for her anticipating her last dance. I asked my daughter with the what did she want to do go to the dance for go to the competition she wanted to go to the dance. I informed the director of the gym that she would not be going to Chicago as it conflicted with a daddy-daughter dance date he was gracious and said it was not a problem and that they could get someone else to take CP position and I was quite happy. I received a call tonight from my daughter very upset. Her coach called her out in front of all the other girls and told her that she was not needed and it should be replaced I really feel and she does that this was reprisal for her not being there for Chicago. she is one of five flyers on the team. The girls are repeatedly told that they can easily be replaced so if you tell a girl that she's not needed or can be replaced when she asked to not be there why should she be attacked for it. it is especially difficult for me to deal with these problems from a far as my job requires me to travel so I'm not at home to sort out the difficulties I'm dealing with with this over the phone from a Hotel. Posted from my phone

We had a gym do that in the past with my daughter even though when the comp was first presented, we indicated that we couldn't go. I definitely suggest at minimum going to a different gym next year if your daughter is still interested in cheering. Not all gyms are like that.

 

[Official OWECheer]

I suspect I'm going to get flamed for this post but I'll do it anyway. on Monday are gym did a SurveyMonkey to ask which event the team wanted to go to. We had previously been told you were going to Orlando in late April now after the survey monkey that's been changed to Chicago on the 6th of April this poses a huge problem for us. My wife who is the president of the PTA for our entire school district had intentionally scheduled my daughter's school Daddy Daughter Dance so that it would not conflict with my daughters cheer competitions. we had a custom dress made for her anticipating her last dance. I asked my daughter with the what did she want to do go to the dance for go to the competition she wanted to go to the dance. I informed the director of the gym that she would not be going to Chicago as it conflicted with a daddy-daughter dance date he was gracious and said it was not a problem and that they could get someone else to take CP position and I was quite happy. I received a call tonight from my daughter very upset. Her coach called her out in front of all the other girls and told her that she was not needed and it should be replaced I really feel and she does that this was reprisal for her not being there for Chicago. she is one of five flyers on the team. The girls are repeatedly told that they can easily be replaced so if you tell a girl that she's not needed or can be replaced when she asked to not be there why should she be attacked for it. it is especially difficult for me to deal with these problems from a far as my job requires me to travel so I'm not at home to sort out the difficulties I'm dealing with with this over the phone from a Hotel. Posted from my phone

She didn't need to do that in public. A warning could have been issued in private, I feel awful for your daughter.

This is not okay. They should be aware of that fact, but it does not need to be thrown in their face all the time. I seriously think you should look into changing gyms.

@CoachFire I love your comment. How does a coach know when they are about to push their kids into burnout?

 

[CheerBank]

I suspect I'm going to get flamed for this post but I'll do it anyway. on Monday are gym did a SurveyMonkey to ask which event the team wanted to go to. We had previously been told you were going to Orlando in late April now after the survey monkey that's been changed to Chicago on the 6th of April this poses a huge problem for us. My wife who is the president of the PTA for our entire school district had intentionally scheduled my daughter's school Daddy Daughter Dance so that it would not conflict with my daughters cheer competitions. we had a custom dress made for her anticipating her last dance. I asked my daughter with the what did she want to do go to the dance for go to the competition she wanted to go to the dance. I informed the director of the gym that she would not be going to Chicago as it conflicted with a daddy-daughter dance date he was gracious and said it was not a problem and that they could get someone else to take CP position and I was quite happy. I received a call tonight from my daughter very upset. Her coach called her out in front of all the other girls and told her that she was not needed and it should be replaced I really feel and she does that this was reprisal for her not being there for Chicago. she is one of five flyers on the team. The girls are repeatedly told that they can easily be replaced so if you tell a girl that she's not needed or can be replaced when she asked to not be there why should she be attacked for it. it is especially difficult for me to deal with these problems from a far as my job requires me to travel so I'm not at home to sort out the difficulties I'm dealing with with this over the phone from a Hotel. Posted from my phone

I'm confused - they are replacing her now for the rest of the season? Are they moving her to another position in the routine? And was this the competition in Orlando that you mentioned pulling her from in your earlier posts if the team did not start to do better?

I'm not agreeing with how the coach handled things; if dates are changed then they should expect there are going to be some conflicts, and those need to be handled appropriately. It does not sound like this was, however, now that it is over 24 hours later hopefully you have found out more information about this rather than just what your upset child told you. Sometimes kids hear things differently from what was actually said. Have you spoken with the coach or the gym?

Although this situation is different since the dates were changed on you, as with any competitive sport that requires travel, there are going to be conflicts that will result in your daughter missing things she would like to attend. My cp is 15 and I cannot tell you how many Sweet 16 parties she has already declined because she has a competition that weekend. You were fortunate in that your wife was able to originally schedule the dance on a date that worked with your schedules to begin with; for most it doesn't happen that way.

Finally sometimes you just have to take a stand. If your daughter is adamant about going to the dance, then she should go. It may be the push you needed to either look for a new gym (given your concerns you voiced earlier).

 

[Littlebear12]

yes they decided to change from the Orlando competition to the chicago competition on a different day

 

[CheerBank]

yes they decided to change from the Orlando competition to the chicago competition on a different day

I ask again - have you spoken to your daughter about what actually happened now that she's not in the moment of it happening? And have you spoken to the coach or gym owner to confirm?

 

[CoachFire]

@Cheer Dad exactly now imagine doing that every day with parents going nuts on your every move it gets old fast not justifying this coaches obvious issues just giving some insight.. I actually had a level 3 mom question why we had to do extended stunts yesterday >.<

 

[Cheer Dad]

@Cheer Dad exactly now imagine doing that every day with parents going nuts on your every move it gets old fast not justifying this coaches obvious issues just giving some insight.. I actually had a level 3 mom question why we had to do extended stunts yesterday >.<

Did you tell her the short stunts weren't working so you extended them a bit longer?

(I promise that sounded funny in my head)


**That will be 5 cents please**

 

[Official OWECheer]

Did you tell her the short stunts weren't working so you extended them a bit longer?

(I promise that sounded funny in my head)


**That will be 5 cents please**

You and your humor... LMAO.

 

[Littlebear12]

my daughter has competition Sunday I'm going to meet with the director then and see what we can do and whether they want her to finish out the rest of the month or not

 

[Cheer Dad]

Do you have a set appointment with the director or are you planning on surprising him/her?

A pre set appointment is the best way to go.


**That will be 5 cents please**

 

[dawgshow]

my daughter has competition Sunday I'm going to meet with the director then and see what we can do and whether they want her to finish out the rest of the month or not

No you will not. Do NOT meet with the director on a comp day unless it's planned. S/he will be a bit busy that day.

 

[CheerBank]

Agree 100% with @dawgshow. Unspoken rule of cheer: thou shall not approach coach, director or owner to discuss anything of significance on a comp day. Not before, not during, not after.

 

[OldskoolKYcheercoach]

I'm jumping in here late, but trust me, dude, you just need a new gym. This coach sounds like she was probably a typical cheer diva in her day. She was most likely a "point flyer" and thought the world revolved around her. She has not learned the finer art of building a group of individuals into a cohesive unit. She expects kids, and that is what they are, to learn and retain changes to a cheer routine in one practice. She singles out kids who do not adhere to her expectations. She is not a coach, she is a dictator.

Coaches, in all sports, have to have two things leadership skills and a deep understanding of the sport. They believe in things like reciprocal loyalty. My athletes are loyal to me, because they know that I will walk through the fires of hell for them. Even when they are in the wrong, they know that I will remove them from the situation, and then correct them privately. Coaches have the heart of a teacher. These changes in the routine should have been planned out far in advance, with the goal being to steadily increase the level of difficulty throughout the year. A well-choreographed routine will score similarly under any scoring system with only minor adjustments.

Here is my advice:

1) If there are other gyms in your area, start calling them. Explain that you are unhappy with your current situation (no reason to play the blame game, or go into details. You're an unhappy customer, and that is all that should matter to them). Ask if you can come in and watch a practice or two.

2) Find one you like

3) Finish the season where you are, for no other reason, than because it's the right thing to do

4) Based on what you've said already about this joke of a gym where you are currently, don't be surprised if they get wind that you are looking and relieve you of your obligation for the rest of the season. Tell them to go do something anatomically impossible.

5) Gather all the information you need to make an informed decision about which gym will become Gym B.

6) If you have problems at Gym B, consider a long self-examination process and make certain that you are not just expecting too much out of people. All Star cheerleading is very expensive, and the price tag and lead some people to have expectations that are too high.

 

[Official OWECheer]

Tell them to go do something anatomically impossible.

LMAO!