All-Star A Heavy heart

[Moore969908]

My momma heart is heavy. For the past eight years, my daughter (15, almost 16) has been a dedicated cheerleader on an AllStar team. Her journey hasn’t been easy—her previous gyms were toxic environments, leading to negative experiences. After taking a year off from cheer to recover, she made the brave decision to try a new gym. This is her second season with her current gym, and after a successful run on an S2 team last year, she was placed on an S3 team for this season. She’s been fully committed—attending every practice, participating in camps, and taking private tumbling lessons to improve her skills. She also works out three days a week to get stronger and sees a personal trainer twice a week to push herself even further.

But this season hasn’t gone the way we expected.

Since the new season started in June, her team lost a couple of members, which was unsettling. Then, at the beginning of September, we received a call from her coaches, including the gym owner, telling us that there was no longer a spot for her on the team. Their reason? They claimed she didn’t have the necessary skills to base at level 3. And while her tumbling was supposedly "not the issue," the result was the same: she was cut from the team.

There wasn’t a single warning. Nothing was ever mentioned about her not meeting expectations or needing improvement. No opportunity was given for her to work one-on-one with a coach to refine her skills. My daughter genuinely thought everything was going well. We were completely blindsided.

She’s devastated. Cheer means the world to her. If she had known she was at risk of losing her spot, she would have done anything to fix it. But that chance was never given to her. It breaks my heart that a sport she loves so deeply, one that has been such a huge part of her life, was taken away in such a cold, unexpected manner. Why even place her on the team if this was a possibility?

Coaches are supposed to support their athletes, help them grow—not suddenly decide they’re not good enough. What hurts even more is that they know my daughter. They know her struggles. She’s homeschooled because of severe anxiety, and they are fully aware of her mental health challenges. They know how much she lacks confidence in herself and her abilities. Yet, despite that knowledge, they chose this path without offering her any guidance or support.

Yesterday, we took her to a different gym—two hours away. She was evaluated and said she felt like she fit in with the girls on the team. She quickly made friends and was invited to join their U16 level 3 team. But despite the opportunity, she’s hesitant and says she doesn’t want to cheer anywhere else. She still loves her former team and hopes to return next season, even after all of this. The girls on her old team have been her support system. They’re more than just teammates—they’ve become family.

And so, my sweet girl spends her days and nights crying off and on, grieving the loss of something so important to her. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to watch. As her mom, I feel utterly helpless, wishing I could take the pain away.

This kind of emotional and mental mistreatment shouldn’t be allowed in any sport.

 

[Keep_Believing]

I'm really sorry to hear this. I've seen it happen to many girls, and it’s truly tough. It doesn’t make it any easier, but investing your whole identity in cheer or any single activity isn’t the healthiest approach. Kids and teenagers need balance and should know that their self-worth comes from within, not from a sport or achievement. Sending prayers for your sweet girl.

 

[catlady]

With no warning is harsh in my book, but in cheer, once fullouts begin, "more time" often translates into more opportunity for injury if she's struggling.
I love you are able to provide her with private opportunities to gain strength and tumbling skills. Add to that, now you can provide the life lesson of, sometimes we are given oppotunities we aren't quite ready for in that particular moment, but you keep moving forward. Does your old gym, or a nearby, have stunt privates? Perhaps commiting to a four hour drive 2-3 times a week doesn't appeal to her.
You can't take away the pain Mom, she's going to cry and grieve, but it's a good sign she wants to keep moving forward. Since she's willing to go back to the old gym next year, if they still have an S2, I would ask their coach if it is possible for her to practice and fill in for them, when/if needed. She would still have an opportunity to see her friends, meet new ones, and coaches definitely take notice when athletes keep pushing forward.