All-Star Coaches - Great Cheerleader But Drama Mamma, Sadder To See Them Leave Or Better They Stay.

[cheermominar]

I was just wondering is it hard to see a greatly skilled cheerleader go if they have a drama mamma attached to them? Has in, can being a drama momma hurt the child no matter how skilled they are?

 

[yojaehs]

Every child has an adult attached to them. Every adult thinks their child is the greatest and SHOULD want what is best for them. I think every kid has some kind of drama in some way, some drama is more detrimental than others. At the end of the day you have to look at your team/program and see if this drama can hurt you short term or long term. If it isn't worth it then cutting the cord may be the best thing. It is never easy, but sometimes it has to be done, it's never easy.

 

[cheermominar]

No not every parent thinks their child is the greatest, yes my daughter cheers and she is good. We've just started her 2nd year and she is working on level 4 skills. Yes I do consider her good considering some of the girls that have been doing it longer (and try harder) then her are just barely getting their back hand spring, . But I don't get huffy puffy about things, if the coach tells her to squeeze or ask why did this or that happen, or tells her not to-do this or that, I don't get up and try to stand so I can hear what he is telling CP and why he pulled her away from the team to talk to her. I wouldn't have been upset if she didn't get to fly this year and told my daughter just because she did her 1st year doesn't mean she will her 2nd year. My son, he sucks when it comes to sports, this is his 1st year of football and I won't complain when all he does is sit on the bench. I am not saying I don't want what is best (or that I don't want him to improve his skills) to be any less for my son then it is for my daughter. Either I or husband will go to his games (they play the same night CP has practice plus this may be impossiable when husband starts chemo), I always make sure he has something to drink afterwards, get him a bite to eat. Don't make him ride the bus home, buy him what he needs. He is happy being on the bench and gets mad if we try to get him to-do things that would improve his skills and thus leave it and accept it at that. He even told me he wants to be the team manager next year because 1) they get to go the games (don't have to play) yet have fun mingling with his friends 2) He would still get out of school early for the away games. I couldn't help but chuckle when he told me this.

What made me think of my orig. question was that one of the (drama) mothers told the coach they just don't think they can take another year while others threaten to pull out right before NCA (I felt like telling them to be-careful of the bridges they burn for their daughters). I sort of wondered if in a sense the coach was sort of like "thank you" please don't come back I can't deal with you anymore. If losing your girls mean losing you, yes I am sad but happy at the same time. My husband has coached the kids soccer/ball teams before and honestly their was one time I was like please pull your child from the team, just leave and go away. Don't try and coach your child and others from behind the backstop, if you didn't sign up for it then shut up.

 

[Callmeboots]

I sort of wondered if in a sense the coach was sort of like "thank you" please don't come back I can't deal with you anymore. If losing your girls mean losing you, yes I am sad but happy at the same time.

Unfortunately, yes this does sometimes happen. It gets to the point where the coach is just out of ideas to make this parent happy. A lot of times, this drama mama fuels the fire for other parents too and pulls them into it. The coach has to ultimately do what's best for the entire team, and sometimes one parent is just never satisfied with that. If the parent is so unhappy with how things are, then maybe they should just leave. The gym runs the way that it does for a reason, and maybe they will find a better place somewhere else. The parents being happy shouldn't be the coaches main concern. Sadly, a lot of the time the girls with the worst parents are some of the most talented.

I have definitely been in a situation where I had a super talented girl, but her mom just didn't trust us or her bases. We were a competitive rec team, so we couldn't have the same rules of staying off the mat during practices, since our board went right over our heads and said the mom could sit in. She would sit ON THE MAT right behind me while I was coaching, not say a word, and then leave when practice was done. She would threaten to pull her daughter every time something would go her way, so I would cater to what she needed. She caused so many issues for us and other parents that year that by the end of the year I had FINALLY learned that if someone doesn't like what you're doing, and is constantly threatening to leave, let them go. It's really not worth it. The year after she left, we had one of the most drama free years we've ever had, and at her new gym she's still causing the same problems.

So yeah, sometimes it's best to just say good riddance, goodbye.

 

[12stepCheermom]

Every child has an adult attached to them. Every adult thinks their child is the greatest and SHOULD want what is best for them. I think every kid has some kind of drama in some way, some drama is more detrimental than others. At the end of the day you have to look at your team/program and see if this drama can hurt you short term or long term. If it isn't worth it then cutting the cord may be the best thing. It is never easy, but sometimes it has to be done, it's never easy.

I'm wondering if this makes me something other than an adult because my kids are definitely NOT the best. They're both beasty bases, tumbling is a struggle for both of them, they have level skills (lv4) but they will never be anyones go to tumbler, jumps...yeah, no front row for them...like ever, my son got lined up on the back row (where he should be) but on the end of the triangle and just about the time I'm saying...they need to move him off the end and bury him in the middle so the whole world doesn't see his cowboyed toe touch...they moved him. He will forever live on the back row for dance and that's exactly where he belongs because this is about the team, not my kid...so I must take exception to the statement "every adult thinks their kid is the greatest."

 

[MomMomMamaMom]

Drama ensues when people are passionate about things. Parents have high hopes when it comes to what they want for their kids, and limits as to what they are willing to accept in terms of time/money and commitment. It isn't unusual to cheer by any means.

And while no, not all of us think our kid is the greatest skill wise, or best in comparison to others, most of us have somthing positive that we believe they are attaining by being a part of this team, sport, industry. For some, it truly is the fact that CP has what it takes to be a fabulous team player and a part of something greater than themselves, but to me this doesn't mean that we don't think our kids are the greatest.

I have no shame in believing my kids have something wonderful to add to the teams they are part of, and it's different for each child. It doesn't offend me in the least if someone points out that I believe my CPS are important to their teams, and I believe full heartedly that it is my job to make sure that I am able to balance the time and money commitments that are necessary with the rewards (for lack of a better word) they will get from this sport they participate in.

Sometimes this comes off as drama, and sometimes it is offensive to other people. And to be honest, sometimes I view this same behavior from other people as drama. But I always try to remember that I am lucky to be able to particpate in providing this kind of experience for my kids, and that it is by no means an entitlement.

When I step back and try to realize that even when I disagree with how other people find themselves invested in the gym I have my kids at,that we are all truly there for the kids and the team, I find it easier to take sometimes.

I don't know enough about the specifics of this particular situation to have a truly thought out opinion, but I do know that sometimes it's important to actuallly listen to one another before writing things off as drama. They really great cheerleader, may have other circumanstances that not everyone knows about. And in general, I'm not a fan of punishing kids for the negativiities of their parents if it can be helped( but believe me I know it can't always be helped)

 

[CoachTamara]

I was just wondering is it hard to see a greatly skilled cheerleader go if they have a drama mamma attached to them? Has in, can being a drama momma hurt the child no matter how skilled they are?

Nope. I don't care how sweet or talented a kid is, if the parents are a nightmare it is a huge relief to see them go. Bad attitude is contagious, and it only spreads to other parents over time. If you aren't happy, go somewhere you are! My gym is not for everyone, and I would rather you go somewhere else than be rude to me, talk trash, and start drama.

 

[Babs]

Drama mamas make what good be a good experience an uncomfortable experience for many of the other parents. We had a drama mama who cornered the gym director at a competition. He had three teams worth of athletes and parents waiting for him to come talk to them at the end of day one, but he never made it because drama mama wouldn't let him stop talking to her. Approx 100 people sat around for 30 minutes before we finally learned he wasn't coming ... her daughter was great, but I don't think she was worth living with her mama.

 

[Drkilluzionz]

I feel that some parents think that b/c their child is talented in some and maybe even all areas of cheer that they should have privileges and exceptions made to them that others don't receive. I think its a ridiculous mindset to take on that starts with the parents and will eventually trickle down to the athlete and has the potential to become nothing short of a team mate resenting, parent loathing, negative HOT MESS!!!

 

[CheerBank]

I feel that some parents think that b/c their child is talented in some and maybe even all areas of cheer that they should have privileges and exceptions made to them that others don't receive. I think its a ridiculous mindset to take on that starts with the parents and will eventually trickle down to the athlete and has the potential to become nothing short of a team mate resenting, parent loathing, negative HOT MESS!!!

Unfortunately I blame the coaches for inflating both the cheerleader's and parent's heads to make then think they are more important than the rest of the team. And once a coach allows a special priviledge - even a small one - it's all downhill from there. You know what they say, you can never go back to just holding hands....

 

[catlady]

No cheerleader, no matter how wonderful, is worth putting up with mama drama. Our girls began cheer in Missouri and I quickly pulled them from the sport. There were moms yelling through the glass at the coaches, "Get that kid off that team, they don't even have a ......." "I'm going to pull my child if they aren't the point......" blah, blah, blah. When we moved to Atlanta, my oldest wanted to cheer again and I told her she could tumble at the cheer facility and we would see how it went, and much to my surprise, there was no drama. It starts from the owner(s), coaches, and staff. Us parents sit upstairs and behave ourselves like human beings are supposed to behave, because if we want the priviledge of watching we know what is expected of us. It is made clear to us that no "one" cheerleader makes a team outstanding, no matter how talented. They do not promote the "Cheerlebrity" mentality and that has offended some parents that feel their child should be spotlighted above the rest. Our gym is successful from level 1 to level 5. Everyone wears the same uniform, every child is treated as an important part of the team, and the owners provide great coaches for all levels. These moms love to claim, "I only want the best for my child" when the truth is, it's mama drama and it hurts the sport and the athlete, period.

 

[SharkDad]

They do not promote the "Cheerlebrity" mentality and that has offended some parents that feel their child should be spotlighted above the rest.

A lot of times "Cheerlebrity" isn't a mentality, it just happens to people. I think this title is starting to be overused.

(that is not against you catlady, just an observation)

 

[yojaehs]

I'm wondering if this makes me something other than an adult because my kids are definitely NOT the best. They're both beasty bases, tumbling is a struggle for both of them, they have level skills (lv4) but they will never be anyones go to tumbler, jumps...yeah, no front row for them...like ever, my son got lined up on the back row (where he should be) but on the end of the triangle and just about the time I'm saying...they need to move him off the end and bury him in the middle so the whole world doesn't see his cowboyed toe touch...they moved him. He will forever live on the back row for dance and that's exactly where he belongs because this is about the team, not my kid...so I must take exception to the statement "every adult thinks their kid is the greatest."

I wasn't attempting to attacking any parent in any way. Just stating that sometimes the thoughts of parents don't and shouldn't always line up with the thoughts of the coaches. I deal with all sorts of "drama" some as simple as "I need to miss practice bc of X,Y,Z" some as a coach your able to deal with some your not is my only point.

 

[catlady]

A lot of times "Cheerlebrity" isn't a mentality, it just happens to people. I think this title is starting to be overused.

(that is not against you catlady, just an observation)

I will agree that a child/parent/gym can not prevent a crowd and/or media that comes specifically to watch an extremely talented child. What gym owners/coaches can prevent, and what I was speaking of above, is a gym giving obvious special treatment to that child. To me, that is a "mentality". An example would be having that specific child always coming out first on stage, with the team lingering a second or two behind them, and then lingering after the rest of the team has left the stage blowing kisses and waving to the crowd. Our gym owners/coaches refuse to profide that type of, for lack of a better word, "cheerlebrity" treatment.

 

[ellen495]

my cp is so lucky to be on x5 at se. And she's not the best on the team (flyer). She isn't good enough to be fab5(maybe one day???). I do NOT CARE. She's happy where she is and the coaches know what they're doing. I cheer on the best and my cp equally. I don't get those people who think their kid is so good she should be in x spot or on y team. Go to a gym where you trust the coaches and then let them coach.