All-Star Favoritism

[C*A-Shelby K]

This is all on point. My daughter WAS the favored one at her first gym. She really didn't get the best spots, but the coaches loved her and she could do no wrong lol. However, they favored other people by not making them pay their bills and putting that burden on all of us. THAT we could not handle and it was time to move on. There is always some slight favorites in a gym. Be it the coaches kid or the athlete who has been with the gym since tiny tots and is now a senior in HS on the Worlds Team. It's up to you and your daughter on what YOU can handle. Not everyone else.

Rule in our gym- kids ONLY speak to coaches about issues (if minor or something like this- larger issues parents are brought in). This teaches the kids so many life lessons and how to act as adults. Make eye contact. How to speak to an adult. (Not just text!) it's amazing how my 13 year old can hold a better conversation with adults than most graduates.

Decide if this gym is really for you and your daughter. Is she progressing? Does she love it? Does she hit her part of the routines?
Remember. Not about favorite Francy. Just your daughter.


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Gotta love that having to pay extra to cover everyone else. Happened way back 10+ years when I was there too :confused:

 

[mamabear]

My question is is she overlooked completely and not getting properly trained or is she just not getting the positions that you feel she has earned? There is a difference and sometimes it takes some true soul searching to figure it out.

My questions are: Do her coaches inspire her? does she get new skills? does she enjoy being on her team? does she love cheer? If so, please back off and let her enjoy herself. Remove yourself from the gym if you have to, to shield her from your negative views. If she senses that you are unhappy, she will become so too.

Cheerbank gave you the hint to surviving all star and that is to only worry about your own. Yes, the coaches might favor one child which you don't agree with - but that might be because the child gets rave reviews from the judges, or picks up choreo quickly or they just trust her since they have worked with her before or it could be as simple as the center spot works for everyone else to get to their spots. There is so much that goes on behind the scenes that you may not know about. Being late might be cleared ahead of time, so may be the absences. Don't waste your time worrying about why...it is not for you to know. There must be a reason that the coaches still have her center especially if the team is only doing so-so.

If you think she is being overlooked intentionally, have her talk with the coaches and give her time to fix their corrections. Hopefully her hard work will eventually be rewarded (even if you have to wait until the following season to happen). If nothing changes, you really only have two choices. Either to stay or go. We were in a similar situation and felt that the issue started with the owners and wouldn't get better, so we left at the end of the season. We might have stayed if we thought a change of coaches would make it better. It ended up being the best decision. She is valued as a team player and leader, even though she is not the star.

 

[Michael White]

Communication is important. This reminds me of the first year I head coached a team. One of my girls was in a stunt in the back left corner. (BLC represent!) She was a great jumper, but even when I got on the mat and hustled I couldn't make it to the front row in time. I got an absolutely scathing email from the parent. A sit down with the gym owner and parent (which was so unnecessary) cleared everything up in minutes. Not everything is as it seems and jumping to conclusions with anything less than complete knowledge can lead to unnecessary bitterness and conflict. All of this was over a child being in the second row instead of the front row. I know many other parents had little issues like this, but they either trusted me, or didn't think it necessary to address the little gripes. Not everyone can be front and center. There are 20 (or however many) athletes, and someone has to be at the back. 99% of the time, it's nothing personal. Any good coach, who wants their team to succeed, will put the best athletes in the best position to succeed.

 

[Pebbles49]

I have to say @CheerMomx1, I researched your messages in other posts, particularly, the posts in the Cheer Newbies board- Tryouts... In the messages you posted about your cp, you mentioned she was 7, just achieved all of her lvl 2 tumbling skills, but has
No lvl 2 stunting skills and was working on lvl. 3 tumbling skills (Bravo!) and has spent the last 2 years on a lvl 1 team... You also mentioned, your daughter has some confident issues, particularly when it comes to lvl 2 stunting...

I said all of this to show you that it is possible that you misconstrued that favoritism have occurred by the coach. As a parent, when my cp first joined her 2nd gym, I noticed, particularly on most Youth team, at least my cp's team, spots were given out based on ages too. For example, if you have 2 equally talented athletes up for the same front spots, the coaches tend to give the spot to the aging off youth athletes... Jmo! It is possible because your cp is only 7, the coach felt she has more time and will get that front spots eventually. Additionally, you have to remember that other athletes on a team are also working hard and probably overlooked initially too, especially on Youth teams... (nothing personal, hopefully)