All-Star Funny things your coaches say!

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Apr 4, 2010
today i randomly thought of this one time my coach was taking attendance at practice and she was like "okay everyone is here except for sarah.. but its okay because sarah is in like a different country right now so she has a good excuse" then one of the kids said "she's only in hawaii" so my coach said "like i said.. she's in a different country" the whole team died laughing and we had to explain to her how hawaii is part of the u.s

then another time one of our stunt groups kept dropping the flyer who is a very small 9 year old. so my coach said "i don't understand why you cant keep her up.. she's a fetus" (;

share your funny coach stories!
Before I hit play, I normally say "El Musica esta una on-o... For all of my English speaking friend, i said Your music is on"
"You looked like DIVAS the last time we went full out, now you look like the opening act! What happened??"

"Have you lost your entire mind....Run until you find it! "

"Throw your standing tuck"...."I'm Scared"..."I can try choreograph that into the routine, I'll see if we can work a Voice Over to say that just for you!"(Sarcastic Smile)
when we're doing dances he will be like "GIVE IT TO MEEEE (enter last name of girl here)!!!" while hip thrusting.

and then another one is "if you don't get out of the way I will light you on fire!!"

many others, i just can't think right now
My coaches <3 One of my favorite things they say is (when talking about how we should look at competition) "You should look ridiculous. If you go to school, children should laugh at you. You should be embarrassed to go to school like that. If no one will laugh at you, you're not big enough" lol
Oh man, Gianni had the best ones. I'll have to think of some.

My all time favorite one from him in Cheersport warm ups when nothing was hitting
"When it doubt, shimmy it out."
My daughter's coach told the team a team member had quit at the next practice after they won NCA. He told them "Don't start celebrating until after practice" and when rechoreographing the jump sequence he asked where this x-team member was in the formation and answered himself by saying "Probably somewhere in the back". The team cracked up laughing! LOL