I was going to refrain from posting on this thread, mainly because I've been on the board for years and I know how little it solves to quarrel with others who have differing opinions with regard to anything cheer related. However, since my wife's Facebook posts are now being posted on this thread I feel the need to respond to one issue.
I'm not interested in addressing any of the issues that have been discussed other than one I feel is very important that I am shocked has been glossed over, marginalized, and swept quietly under the rug. I am appalled at the lack of concern and willingness to “let slide” the fact that a coach and teacher within our sport decided to take to social media to bully my daughter. Call it what you want, minimize it as you may, but the fact is that a well-known coach, former gym owner, and traveling choreographer within our industry decided to get on social media and post a very insulting and negative post directed at my daughter. What’s even more disturbing is to see the lack of response against this by all those who have talked about how bullying is unacceptable. Apparently from what I’ve seen, if it is a coach that is doing the bullying, it is OK so long as he has a good point to make. I’ve seen so many say, “Well, while he might not have done it in the best way, he did have good intentions and/or a good point for discussion”. So is that how we are minimizing bullying now; it’s ok so long as you have good intentions.
What would happen if my daughter didn’t happen to be the strong young woman that she is and was so distraught from a coach calling her out on social media that she put a gun to her head and put a bullet in her brain? Would we all be so quick to simply brush away the clearly inappropriate tweet made by a man who is supposed to be a trainer of children. A man who should have an unwritten code of conduct that requires setting the example of how children should behave? As she lay dead, would all the comments be saying, “Well, he did have good intentions. It’s unfortunate a child is dead but at least now we’re all talking about liability insurance”.
The fact that I have seen so many coaches and owners jump on this thread and minimize what he did simply because he has been involved in many things cheer related over the years is rather disturbing. This shouldn’t be tolerated from anyone, especially a coach, even if they invented the sport of cheerleading. No wonder we have a social media problem within our sport. Bullying is never ok. Not from one child to another, not from adults to children, and certainly not from a coach who works with the very children we are all trying to protect.
Say what you want about whether or not my daughter can teach other children. Feel free to discuss amongst yourselves whether or not you think my daughter’s gym will succeed or fail. That’s your right… God Bless America. Just don’t forget that one day you may decide to go out on your own and take a risk at something you dream of. Maybe you too will be lucky enough to experience the type of support you have shown in this thread over your decision. I also encourage those of you who wonder what a group of young coaches who are athletes themselves can teach others to reach out to the many hundreds if not thousands of parents who have attended one of our events and have been overly impressed at the professionalism and knowledge of our staff of athlete coaches, 2 of whom are ASGA certified. I’m proud to say that I have over 1,000 letters of recommendation, emails, posts and “thank you” messages for the summer clinics we have done over the past 4 years. We must be doing something right if we continue to be invited back each year. I’m also perplexed by the fact that so many have forgotten or perhaps just don’t know that some of the biggest and most successful gyms in the country right now were started by young 17 & 18 year olds. They too didn’t know much about running a business back then, but they took a risk and today they have become storied programs.
I will simply close with this. Feel free to discuss whatever you want on these boards. Feel free to theorize whether our new program with do great or perhaps fail. What you may not realize is that we will be happy in either outcome, because success never comes without failure. If she succeeds, I will hug her and tell her how proud I am of her. If it fails, I will hug her twice as hard and tell her even more so how proud I am of her. Either way, she will grow, learn and become better for it.
So discuss away, but what I will not accept is our blatant ignoring of the fact that my daughter was bullied by an industry coach and this cannot be tolerated. It is never OK for a children’s coach to take to social media to embarrass and insult a child. We have already seen teens who have taken their own lives over much less. Those of you standing by and not speaking out against it are part of the problem. I have traveled the country with my daughter and met many amazing parents, gym owners and coaches. The one thing that we share at every stop is our desire to see children smile, grow and become better people through the sport of cheerleading. It starts with us, the adults, the parents, the coaches, and the gym owners. We have to stop the negativity. Be happy for one another. Be positive and shine like a bright light in a dark world. Isn’t that why most of us came into cheer to begin with?
