All-Star Guilt About Crossing Over...

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MomOf2ThatsMe

Cheer Parent
Feb 18, 2011
2,236
3,892
I got a message from one of the coaches last night asking me if I would allow CP to cross over to the J2 team. They are replacing one of the flyers (don't know details, but I think she quit). Basically she is on mini 2 right now she will go and try the junior team next week and if it is a good fit keep her on the team. They just want to make sure that she can keep up with the routine, yada yada yada. CP is excited because she really prefers flying with older and bigger bases. Part of me though felt a guilt that she was asked to do this. I was kind of questioning stuff in my head, like why didn't they ask any of the other 35 girls on youth and mini. I honestly feel kind of bad because at that age, especially mini, the girls are dying to be a flyer. Obviously everyone cannot due to a variety of reasons. Since she already flys on her mini 2, I feel like maybe I should tell them to give someone else a chance since this is a junior team she was asked to try and that would give other girls the opportunity to try out a different position that they have always wanted. Am I being crazy? I have no doubt that my CP will be fine on the team, I guess I just sit upstairs in the parent area and hear the other moms talk about how their CP's loved doing drop-in stunt, it's the only time they have ever flown and they love it. Or how their CP was so sad they missed the age cutoff by a few weeks, they would have been on the J2 team and may have flown. Thoughts? Should I just leave it as is and roll with it? If they do end up putting her on that team I honestly don't even want to say anything to the other moms on the mini team and will probably just let them figure it out...
 
On a positive note maybe the coaches felt that your daughter has the maturity to handle the junior team?
On a negative note
having your daughter fly on much bigger bases will not help her in the long run.... having someone that can hold your butt while your in the air is not teaching her any essential flying skills.
I really cant say what is right or wrong for your cp as a lot of factors go into such a decision and I wish you luck in whatever decision you make!!
 
If the coach has asked your daughter, let her have the opportunity. It's not fair to hold her back just because of all the other girls that could've been chosen. The coaches chose your daughter for a reason. She has obviously worked/ proven herself and she deserves the "reward" opportunity that has been given to her. I double teamed 07-08 on sr. silver (coed 4) & sr. black (coed 5) at brandon and there is hard times that come with it.. people will talk at first (probably not as big of a deal since it is mini 2 and jr 2 and you won't run into the trouble of preparing for cheersport && worlds etc.) but after a couple weeks at practice it just becomes routine and everyone gets used to it. The best thing is if she wants to do this, let her have her moment! Then when people ask, talk, question you just say that the coach asked her to cross over.
 
You should tell the coach exactly what you posted. Sometimes, coaches think their reasons for things are obvious to others. I never have a problem with a mom that truly wants what is best for everyone and I doubt your coach would mind talking with you about it. A phone call or face to face is best with questions concerning team placements though so don't text or email.
 
Maybe they asked her because shes a good flyer and can handle doing the stunt. I'm assuming that your season has already started or will start soon...if thats the case they really wouldn't have time to teach a girl that has never flown how to fly....despite the fact that they really want to.
 
Thanks guys. You all brought up some very valid points that make a lot of sense. I guess I was just always the kid getting picked last for the kickball team so I tend to look at things from that POV. I think at this point I am just going to let CP try it out, and if it works out, great, if not, oh well. Besides, it's only three and a half months....
 
If the coach has asked your daughter, let her have the opportunity. It's not fair to hold her back just because of all the other girls that could've been chosen. The coaches chose your daughter for a reason. She has obviously worked/ proven herself and she deserves the "reward" opportunity that has been given to her. I double teamed 07-08 on sr. silver (coed 4) & sr. black (coed 5) at brandon and there is hard times that come with it.. people will talk at first (probably not as big of a deal since it is mini 2 and jr 2 and you won't run into the trouble of preparing for cheersport && worlds etc.) but after a couple weeks at practice it just becomes routine and everyone gets used to it. The best thing is if she wants to do this, let her have her moment! Then when people ask, talk, question you just say that the coach asked her to cross over.

I agree with everyone else. Do NOT feel guilty! It's the coaches decision and they chose your daughter for a reason. They obviously feel she is capable. Even if there are other athletes in the gym who might be qualified for that spot, the fact remains that they want your daughter for it. It may be a great opportunity for her and she shouldn't miss out on that because of what other people might think. Be proud and support her and forget worrying about everyone else.
 
I wouldn't worry about feeling guilty. The coaches chose your daughter for a reason. If you decline they will probably just pick another little girl who already flies anyways. Do whatever you think is best for your daughter and you.
 
Great advice here and exactly what I would have said.

And let me go ahead and give you the answer to the question that you WILL get from other parents.

Question.........."Why is Bobbie Sue on J2 now?"
Answer............"You'll have to ask the coaches. I'm not privy to that information. I'm sorry."

LOL
 
Well though I haven't been in the same same situation with them asking my cp because she was put on both teams to begin with. However I will say as to what may come from others. I love that my daughters on youth2 because of her being one of the best on mini's, I don't feel she pushes herself but on youth there are a handful of other girls that are amazing so my daughter is not the best and it makes her want to compete and get better along with everyone else and not relax.

I will say when we started youth I really hated it. There were a few parents who made smart comments like um your daughter just started on tinys for 1 season and she is already on youth. My daughter started 2 years on tiny and 3 on mini and it's her 6th season and she finally is small enough to fly but because your daughter is on the team so now my daughter can't fly.
(if it sounds familiar I believe I posted something about this somewhere else so sorry)
I heard many of other things too... But you kind of get the point. I'm not going to say I didn't understand or feel bad for them in the beginning because I did. I let them make me feel bad. All I ever want at competition is for my cp to hit because I know how these parents are and I don't want anyone thinking she doesn't belong because she is 6.
I then began to realize that the coaches wouldn't ask her and or let her fly or double team if they thought someone else should be doing it. My daughter has one of the top tumbling passes on mini's, an opening centered around her part because she is the only one left standing as everyone goes to the ground, and she is point dancer. On youth she isn't really point anything and I don't think she deserves to be. She isn't point dancer, she isn't point jumps (and I'm glad lol) but she does fly and she does have a cool little tumbling pass.. She learned so many things from youth I'm glad she did it. I'm glad she sees that what she got on mini's she earned and what she has on youth is partly a nice gift; I'm sure it helps the team out too but she loves it. I've seen a whole new child this year. A tiny last year to a mini/youth2 this year is a huge change and I'm so nervous about the future.

What I'm saying though is your daughter has an amazing opportunity and it's her turn to take it. Don't let anyone guilt you over it, yes you will feel bad at first but that feeling will pass. I'm sure your daughter can go out there and rock it and leave no one questioning who was best for the spot.
Good luck :)
 
Great advice here and exactly what I would have said.

And let me go ahead and give you the answer to the question that you WILL get from other parents.

Question.........."Why is Bobbie Sue on J2 now?"
Answer............"You'll have to ask the coaches. I'm not privy to that information. I'm sorry."

LOL

This is the best advice...and you will be asked...believe me!!
 
I'm just echoing what everyone else has said, but the coaches asked your cp to crossover because they feel she is the best person for the job! And if people talk, then let them! It's none of their business what you do with your cp....Good luck! :)
 
As a coach....I pick the kid to crossover that most fits my needs at the time. My decision is totally dependent on that and that only. I can't imagine deciding any other way. Obviously your daughter meets the needs of the team. You can ask the coach why, but in my opinion, any good coach will tell you exactly what I typed above ;)
 
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