I'm Struggling Deciding On What To Do

[dance_extreme_94]

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To give you some background information my primary background experience is Dance, and since 2013 I have had a strong interest in Cheerleading, but was too old to sign up for any all star teams. I do have scholastic, and youth training experience, (one season in youth around 12 years old, and middle school, and high school cheer experience for two seasons each) but I know that is not enough for all star. Here's what I have done so far

1. Contacted local all star gyms to ask if I can put in volunteer hours to gain more experience under my belt before deciding if coaching cheer was something I truly wanted to do, and they all wrote back saying they didn't need any help.


2. Contacted local middle schools, and high schools.... all said the same thing.


3. I found an AYC program, and got certified, and became an assistant coach, but many parents are upset with that. I give them no reason not to trust me, and I don't work with stunts, or tumbling. I basically just clean, and create dance routines since that is my primary experience. I now feel like I have to quit coaching cheerleading all together because the parents are so upset with me being so inexperienced in cheerleading. We all have to start some where right ?

I originally thought I made a good choice starting off at the youth rec league level. Most aspiring cheer coaches with little to no cheer experience like my self would have gone off to try and start their own all star program putting other aspiring cheerleaders in danger. I guess I was wrong, and I'm really at lost about what to do.

Being that dance is my primary background, including having professional experience I know all about injuries, and how easily/quickly they can occur. Safety is my top priority. I'm just upset with the fact that these parents aren't willing to give me a chance. Especially when I don't give them a reason not to "like me" as a coach, or think I'm a "bad" coach. The kids love me, the head coach loves me, but the parents hate me. Anyone have any advice on this?

We have a fundraising day tomorrow, and I have to face these parents. I just need to know what to tell them to ensure that those kids safety is my top interest, and I would not have them do anything they don't feel comfortable with, or I feel not ready for in the event I do need to run a full practice one day, etc.


Thank you in advance


PS: I"m sorry for my poor grammar I have never been good with it please forgive me!

 

[Cheer Dad]

Technically you are never too old to be on a team, that is what Open and International teams are for. Look for an Open 6 team on your area. They are usually made up of college kids who are still holding on to the dream and depending on the program having fun is the main goal.

As for your issue with the AYC parents I am not surprised. In my experience most coaches with any rec program have their own kids in the program so there is a connection for them being there. Even then some of them are looked down upon and not trusted. For an outsider to come in just looking for experience most parents don't know what to make of it.

As long as you are working with an experienced coach who is supervising your activities, and approves of your actions, just keep on coaching if that is what you want to do.

In any position of leadership you'll run into similar situations and you are just going to need thicker skin to ignore them sometimes until you gain their trust.


**Congratulations you found someone from your gym, do you want a cookie?**

 

[dance_extreme_94]

Technically you are never too old to be on a team, that is what Open and International teams are for. Look for an Open 6 team on your area. They are usually made up of college kids who are still holding on to the dream and depending on the program having fun is the main goal.

As for your issue with the AYC parents I am not surprised. In my experience most coaches with any rec program have their own kids in the program so there is a connection for them being there. Even then some of them are looked down upon and not trusted. For an outsider to come in just looking for experience most parents don't know what to make of it.

As long as you are working with an experienced coach who is supervising your activities, and approves of your actions, just keep on coaching if that is what you want to do.

In any position of leadership you'll run into similar situations and you are just going to need thicker skin to ignore them sometimes until you gain their trust.


**Congratulations you found someone from your gym, do you want a cookie?**

Thank you @Cheer Dad I will look into Open six teams sometimes this weekend.

Also that's the point, I'm only the assistant coach, and the only things I do is create dance routines, and clean them. The head coach is the one who do work with the Stunt, and tumbling etc so I'm not sure why parents are having issues with me creating dance routines that are not dangerous.

Like said before with me having professional dance experience, and have been in dance since I was a kid I know all about injuries and how serious they can be. I would never put someone else's kid at risk of an injury knowing I could possibly get sued, and knowing that their kid could possibly never cheer again if the injury is severe enough.

I don't fault them for being upset, but I just want them to realize I'm not on my own doing it. I coach dance as well, and don't have this problem. I'm a national champion for dance (non USASF related) etc so with me coming into to cheer to teach dance I never understood why it was a big issue, but if this means that parents will quit being on AYC because of me then I will quit first, and come back when I have more experience in cheer.

I want to be a choreographer who has versatility because it is really key to succeeding in this competitive market maybe a different AYC team will be easier to work with? what are your thoughts on that?

 

[Keep_Believing]

Can I ask what makes you think the parents hate you?

 

[dance_extreme_94]

Can I ask what makes you think the parents hate you?

They're catty towards me. when it is my time start teaching Choreography I get eye rolls from parents, and one parent even cursed me out before saying she didn't want me working with her kid because of my lack of cheer experience however as before, I''m not the one teaching the dangerous portion of cheer the head coach is. I'm sticking with what I know, and just Choreographing dance routines for them, and I get a snarky comment every time then that same parent stirs the pot with other moms. Over dance routines. My dance routines are very age appropriate as well so I know that's not the issue (just thought I'd put that in there)

 

[dawgshow]

They're catty towards me. when it is my time start teaching Choreography I get eye rolls from parents, and one parent even cursed me out before saying she didn't want me working with her kid because of my lack of cheer experience however as before, I''m not the one teaching the dangerous portion of cheer the head coach is. I'm sticking with what I know, and just Choreographing dance routines for them, and I get a snarky comment every time then that same parent stirs the pot with other moms. Over dance routines. My dance routines are very age appropriate as well so I know that's not the issue (just thought I'd put that in there)

Wow! Where are you from? I've been involved in rec cheer with my own child and have never heard of that kind of behavior from parents during practices. What does the head coach say? I'd think that she would step in and either close practices or tell them to stop speaking that way.

 

[dance_extreme_94]

Wow! Where are you from? I've been involved in rec cheer with my own child and have never heard of that kind of behavior from parents during practices. What does the head coach say? I'd think that she would step in and either close practices or tell them to stop speaking that way.

I'm from NC I can inbox you the program name if you wish, but I don't want to publicly post our team like that.

The head coach, and the director of the entire program has spoken with this mom one time already the next time it happens, she and her kid will be removed from the program. As you know AYC has strict rules so a lot stuff we are unable to do in regards of "discipline"

Nice to meet someone who has AYC experience

 

[Cheer Dad]

They're catty towards me. when it is my time start teaching Choreography I get eye rolls from parents, and one parent even cursed me out before saying she didn't want me working with her kid because of my lack of cheer experience however as before, I''m not the one teaching the dangerous portion of cheer the head coach is. I'm sticking with what I know, and just Choreographing dance routines for them, and I get a snarky comment every time then that same parent stirs the pot with other moms. Over dance routines. My dance routines are very age appropriate as well so I know that's not the issue (just thought I'd put that in there)

Just tossing this out there and all you women can hate on me for it but.... I think some women perceive 'cattiness' when in fact it is just not there. Sadly I think it is a product of our society through our formative years when our youth age peers were more judgmental and critical of things and trying to fit in. Not saying that is happening here, especially with the one saying she doesn't want you working with her daughter.

Is there a chance this particular woman is just never happy, you took her position as dance instructor or maybe the dance for that team isn't hard enough?


**well now, aren't you just the special one**

 

[Keep_Believing]

It sounds like you have some impressive dance experience. I have heard of dance studios adding a cheer program after they are successful. Have you thought about opening a dance studio. Then once it is established adding cheer to your program.

 

[dawgshow]

I'm from NC I can inbox you the program name if you wish, but I don't want to publicly post our team like that.

The head coach, and the director of the entire program has spoken with this mom one time already the next time it happens, she and her kid will be removed from the program. As you know AYC has strict rules so a lot stuff we are unable to do in regards of "discipline"

Nice to meet someone who has AYC experience

Not AYC specifically, just rec in general.

 

[dance_extreme_94]

Just tossing this out there and all you women can hate on me for it but.... I think some women perceive 'cattiness' when in fact it is just not there. Sadly I think it is a product of our society through our formative years when our youth age peers were more judgmental and critical of things and trying to fit in. Not saying that is happening here, especially with the one saying she doesn't want you working with her daughter.

Is there a chance this particular woman is just never happy, you took her position as dance instructor or maybe the dance for that team isn't hard enough?


**well now, aren't you just the special one**

I get what your saying If this is the case I would hope the woman would be adult enough to come talk to me woman to woman about how she feels. No one has informed me about replacing other parents, so I truly do not know if that is the issue, and this is only a beginners team so I don't know how hard she would expect these dances to be lol I'm not going to set them up for failure by giving them the most difficult routine I know they can't pull off.

 

[dance_extreme_94]

Not AYC specifically, just rec in general.

oh sorry about that

 

[mamabear]

Maybe the families and or coaches know more about you than you think and are having a hard time accepting you because of that? There are many people on this site who are or have been involved with that organization and are very protective of it.

Maybe the distrust is not coming from cattiness like @Cheerdad is saying (GRRRR!), but from an expectation that experienced coaches and choreographers are working with their children. Most wininng program hire choreographers from all star gyms.

 

[dance_extreme_94]

Maybe the families and or coaches know more about you than you think and are having a hard time accepting you because of that? There are many people on this site who are or have been involved with that organization and are very protective of it.

Maybe the distrust is not coming from cattiness like @Cheerdad is saying (GRRRR!), but from an expectation that experienced coaches and choreographers are working with their children. Most wininng program hire choreographers from all star gyms.

I wouldn't think so as said before I don't give them a reason not to trust me, I'm not on social media much so I honestly don't know what they could possibly know about me, I have a clean record lol I just wish they would be more adult about it so I can try and fix the problem, and we can be a better team.

We also by no means a winning team. Hard workers yes, but winning team no. I just really want them to talk to me about the problems in an adult way instead of like this. They refuse to have a sit down meeting and do some remediation.

 

[dawgshow]

I wouldn't think so as said before I don't give them a reason not to trust me, I'm not on social media much so I honestly don't know what they could possibly know about me, I have a clean record lol I just wish they would be more adult about it so I can try and fix the problem, and we can be a better team.

We also by no means a winning team. Hard workers yes, but winning team no. I just really want them to talk to me about the problems in an adult way instead of like this. They refuse to have a sit down meeting and do some remediation.

You've asked for a meeting and they've refused? Who refused? The head coach or all of the parents? Really, it sounds like the head coach needs to take the lead and help diffuse the situation. Good luck.