New Gym Problems

[Mak's mom :)]

Hi! My daughter and I recently moved away from the gym she cheered at for three years. We moved across the country and she took a year off from cheer. While she was active in tumbling and flight classes,privates and open gym the last year. this is her first season back on All-stars. She is 11 years old on a junior level 2 team and is having alot of problems with her stunt group. The girls in her group are a few years older than she is and have never cheered before. They have had problems with their elite stunts since before competition started and when she trys to talk to them about their grip or anything else that can improve the stunt they get very annoyed with her and refuse to listen to her advice. In turn this has caused alot of tension between the group and she does not trust them. This past weekend at competition her base in pyramid lost track of where she was in the routine and went to the back of the stage rather than to her spot to base so they were late getting her side of pyramid up. While they were able to get up and not fall they did not exicute the whole pyramid as it should have been. She consistently hits all parts of the two pyramids that they do so needless to say we all were shocked! I was sure it had to be a fluke! The next day at competition her extension fell(same base). She has only one time fell at competition and has never placed less than second at a competition in her 4 years competing. Needless to say she was devistated. The bases were really rough on her afterwards and told her team that she stuck her butt out and that if they lost it was her fault. She was so upset she left the team crying and came to sit with me. My daughter is her toughest critic and holds herself to standards much higher than even i hold her to. She swears that the girls had her toe pointed up and that is why the stunt fell.

I was informed last night at practice that my daughter and I need to meet with the director of our program and our coaches to discuss her flying capabilities. I am just amazed. She was taken out of the pyramid and now may be losing her flying spot on the whole team. For the life of me I cannot understand how she could go from being the point flyer on a team that went to competition and competed neck and neck with teams like the Stingrays(love'em!) to coming to the west where cheer is not nearly as advanced and now she is at risk of losing all that she has worked so hard for.

Is there anyone that can give me advice? How do i approach this with the coaches in the meeting? Are there any bases out there that can give me advice to pass along to her? I am so sad that she is losing all drive and everything she has worked so hard for.

 

[Mamarazzi]

First, go into the meeting with an open mind. Hear what they're saying (and I mean really hear, don't just nod your head and wait to talk,) and aim to discuss YOUR CHILD ONLY. It's easy to slip into blaming someone - flyers or bases - for the issues at comp, so you really want the focus to be on how to best help your child.
You've already decided that they're getting ready to tell you that your child is being grounded. Maybe they want to ask details about her prior experience, or recommend that she work with a different stunt group or take a flexibility class or come to the gym extra time so she can work with her bases. There are a million reasons why a coach could call a meeting about her flying capability and pulling her doesn't have to be one of them.
This last part will come off rude, and I don't mean it that way, it's just gonna be blunt. Nobody at your new gym cares where, on what team, in what position, or against whom your cp has competed. She is now at that gym "out West" and has to work with that gym's athletes.

 

[Mak's mom :)]

Thank you for all of your advice! I truly do intend to go in with an opened mind. We really do like the gym here I just feel that it is much different than where we were before. Cheer in the south is much different that it is here. That is nothing against the gym by any means just a fact that even the staff has discussed. I dont feel that you were rude at all, just blunt and I like that! I just dont understand how she went from doing so well to where she is now. I dont know if it is her or what but there is a definite difference and I do think that her past experiences should have some weight when considering what is going wrong. Just as you said, they may want to discuss her past experiences. She missed practice on Monday for a school event and was already taken from her position in pyramid. Either way, you are right, there may be many reasons they want to meet and I am glad they do, I just wish they would have done this before they removed her from her spot. Thank you again for the advice and I will definitely keep it in mind.

 

[justpeachy]

I think.... go into the meeting with an open mind. Hopefully it will go better than you expect. Come prepared with possible solutions. Don't be afraid to carefully mention that she was a key flyer on a very successful team at a well respected gym. But don't be surprised if that puts them on the defensive.

If it doesn't go well, this might not be the gym for y'all and you can send her to me. Wink wink.

 

[LabbyGirlMOM]

I agree with what Mamarazzi says :)

 

[CheerDadof2]

Everything Mamarazzi said and it may not be the gym for you. We've been to 2 gyms previous to the one we're at currently and she's finally happy with a supportive coaching staff and team.

Good luck

 

[mstealtoyou]

You've already gotten great advice! Good Luck in your meeting and I hope you'll update us after it's over.

 

[cheermominar]

How do you feel gyms in the south differ then those in the west? We are south but I am from the west coast. Also how did the meeting go? I am sure it's a tough change for your daughter.

 

[CricketCheerMom]

It may not be a good fit for you but that is ok. Just don't talk about the other kids just yours.