I have typed and deleted several posts already.... This one I am going to post:
I know this kid. I know mom, dad, and big sis. It infuriates me that something that was posted in jest... An inside joke amongst teammates... Has been twisted by others to be something it is not. It infuriates me that such a sweet girl is being beaten down by people who do not know her. I do not tolerate ANY form of racism in my home, and I let this one and her sister watch my kids. I did before, and I would do so this afternoon! (In fact, msteal, we could use an afternoon with no kids , if yours are free)
Those claiming to see a "pattern" or "history" of racial division with this team or gym are simply coming up with something that is not there. In fact, I can't think of a place where I had spent significant time that is more open to all than our gym.
What it boils down to is that those ACTUALLY involved, the girls of that team, love each other, and love her... (I haven't met anyone who doesn't love her that has met her). They don't have a problem, because there is no problem. The fact that there is more pressure on her than that vile, vulgar tumblr "author" is a real problem. The fact that this group of girls can laugh with each other and joke about their differences while being a team and LOVING each other says they are beyond worrying about it. If we use kid gloves when they are not necessary, we are CREATING a divide, instead of fixing one.
The internet is a crazy place, isn't it? I feel like Uncle Ben's famous quote is needed when it comes to the internet - "With great power comes great responsibility."
Even if it was an inside joke, I think it was bad judgement in posting it with that caption. Sometimes the internet isn't the place for inside jokes. They are inside jokes for a reason meaning that they aren't shared with the world. If we didn't have that back story and explanation from msteal, this definitely would've snowballed into something bigger.
In a way this is somewhat of a parallel with the Chola news article thread. Both pictures were taken out of context and thrust into the limelight with little to no background information. Both had aspects of a picture of a team that could be misconstrued as "racist" without that background story. The difference is in this situation we had an explanation from a person involved afterward.
I think the tumblr account instigated a lot of unnecessary drama around it. But like I said, as an outsider, I think the caption was a bit unnecessary, too. But that doesn't mean I think MsT's kid is a bad kid or a racist. Good people make bad decisions all the time. She just made a bad decision (IMO) that was brought to light in a not so nice way. I'm sure we've all made bad decisions that we are glad the world never saw. I know I have.
Unfortunately something like this happened to me when I was cheering - Back when Myspace was a thing I made a comment on someones picture that was.... looking back it was not in good taste. It was a comment to a former coach at the gym I was at (Gym A) who had switched to the gym next door (Gym B - literally right next door). The comment expressed how unhappy I was at Gym A and some of the questionable things that had been happening and how much I was hoping to switch to Gym B the next season. My coach at Gym A printed the comment off and at the end of practice that night, two weeks before our last competition, read part of it to the entire team. He left my name off of it but I felt he brought it up in such an immature way and thought it was unfair because it was taken out of context. Both of my parents coached there and I had been at that gym the longest out of everyone there - even some coaches (8 years). I knew kids looked up to me and I had a reputation of being a kind, thoughtful, responsible kid - I was held to a higher standard than all of the other kids because of my seniority and as the "coaches kid". My mom was also in that practice and heard the whole thing. Not knowing it was me, she commented on it and said how disappointed she was that someone on the team would say those things about their team. The team walked away from practice that night speculating who would've done that. Like many other kids, cheerleading was my entire life and I loved every second of it and how much I loved my teams but because of the parts of the comment that were omitted when read, the coach made it sound like I hated my team and everyone on it when I was frustrated with how the gym was ran. I can't tell you how much I cried and cried and cried and cried afterwards in private. It was a horrible feeling. I am already very hard on myself and what happened made it so much worse. The hardest part was owning up to it to my parents and then sitting in the coaches office apologizing to them the next day. (My happy ending was I got to go to Gym B the next season and was happy as a clam there!)
@mstealtoyou - I can imagine how your girl is feeling. After it all settled down I was able to relfect on what happened. It gave me a little more insight on how the internet works and how what I say can be misconstrued and used against me. I know people like to jump to conclusions on the internet without a care in the world of the real story. You cannot control what people do with the things YOU put on the internet but you can control what you put there. I also realized that everyone can see EVERYTHING you post on the internet. I learned to be a LOT more careful about what I posted. Even though the whole situation hurt a lot and caused a lot of frustration and grief, I walked away learning so much. Hopefully your daughter will be able to do the same and will try her best not to let it happen again. I don't think what she posted reflects anything negative about her - she sounds like a good kid who might've made a mistake. It's a tough learning experience. The fact that she is so upset about it speaks volumes to me. Its obvious she cares deeply about what has happened and isn't one of those types who post something that could've hurt peoples feelings and not care about the consequences. I have so much more respect for people like that. Sometimes people's reactions to their actions are more important than their original actions. How she handles it and what she walks away with shows more about her character than the original IG post or how it has been portrayed. Tell her to keep her head up. It will be ok.
As for tumblr - some tumblr's are there simply to cause drama. Just like some twitters are there to cause drama. When you're on tumblr you just roll your eyes, ignore them, and keep scrolling. I feel like tumblr is getting a bad rap because of a couple of bad seeds. Just ignore them and pity them knowing they have nothing better to do than help cause drama. I don't know about others but I want to do more with my life than that. Tumblr isn't all drama, sometimes it can be a great resource.
Eek sorry for the novel y'all. Back to job searching I go!
