So here's the thing, you keep mentioning the safety of her tumbling warmup (the 1, 2, 3s) and you compared it with allstar. The comparison is minimal - allstar you warm up on a spring floor, high school you warmup on dead mat. For me personally, I could three to tuck more easily than one to tuck on a spring mat, but on dead mat I was never able to build up the speed so I could only one to tuck. I know it's not the case for everybody, but I know a fair few people who prefer the 1 to tuck over 3 to tuck in college and high school cheerleading.
That being said, I also don't see the safety issue with the stunting with the obvious exception of the whole peeing thing, which if it really is as bad as you say should be brought to admin's attention immediately. Either they are unaware or it's not really as bad as you're making it out to be, because I guarantee the school would shut down this peeing the pants thing immediately. There's a possibility the girl is on a 504 accommodation plan, but that doesn't really exempt her from peeing on her peers which is unhygienic and honestly just disgusting. I'm never a fan of going above the coach's head but in this instance I think it's what needs to be done. As is stands, based on your first post, it just sounds like the coach wants to try and mold the girl to fly since she is smaller, and generally smaller flyers (when they learn to be tight) are better in the air than heavier ones. I have a 5'6" flyer that is amazing, but heavier than my 5'1" mini flyer that weighs like 85 pounds. Even though my smaller flyer isn't super tight as of the moment, she's also new to flying and I can see the potential that once she gets more comfortable, she'll be amazing. The coach is probably weighing these pros and cons and making an informed decision - if it doesn't work out, she won't risk the success of her program and will scrap the idea.
It sounds like the coach knows generally what she's doing - UIL is competitive and if she's making it to finals that says a lot. I wouldn't question her abilities so much unless you yourself have a background of coaching cheer - most parents really don't understand the intricacies of what goes on behind closed doors. As for her hating your daughter, I know every single athlete at one point or another has probably told their parents I hate them, but in reality I would give any one of those kids a kidney if they needed it. If I were you I would just sit down with coach one on one and discuss everything, or do it through email if you're not comfortable with confrontation.
Not trying to be rude or judgmental, to be clear. Obviously a bunch of internet strangers aren't going to know your situation well enough to really weigh in, which is exactly why you should address this directly with the coach in question, and talk to admin if nothing comes from that.
I don’t want to come across as defensive or that I’m not listening to what everyone is saying. I came here for insight and opinions, and am mulling over what everyone is telling me. It’s just hard to put everything into an internet post. I do appreciate getting other perspectives.
these are just a few more examples, not exhaustive list
tumbling: for my daughter personally, she has to warm up series before throwing standing bhs to tucks. She can get away with going straight to tucks on spring, not on dead. They’re not allowed to do that, have to do 1,2,3’s. I keep referencing it because my child considers it the most challenging part because she’s not comfortable doing all her skills unless she’s been able to adequately warm up. If she doesn’t feel she’s been able to warm up enough she doesn’t do all of skills, then gets yelled at & losses points for consistency.
New tumbling skills- they are required to have new skills for every evaluation or she marks down. Last eval my daughter got marked down because coach said should have gotten either 2-to full or Arabian by now. another girl was called out for not throwing tuck by herself. Her tumbling coach did not want her doing it by herself because she throws her head. Coach told her if she can make the rotation, she needed to start doing it.
My CP got her full back after injury (had full before on spring, but not on dead) school coach found out she was doing it on spring floor & pressured her to do it on dead, called her selfish. She ended up breaking finger. 3 weeks later same thing with another girl, broke 2 fingers. coach can only spot bhs’s anyone with higher skill is on own.
Stunts: My CP got concussion from repeatedly getting kicked in the head by a new flyer. I don’t fault the flyer, she didn’t know how to do a full around, she wasn’t really taught how to do it. I don’t feel it was an appropriate skill to start her off with. There were no extra spots, all groups stunted at the same time coach just walked around watching everyone. Daughter told her she was getting headache, told her she needed to suck it up and push through pain. Finally let her stop when group said she blacked out. Did not get trainer, made her tumble after.
Coach herself doesn’t know grips for most stunts. Will tell them find someone who does. Then little things like telling them to sweep legs out for cradle, spin shoulders faster during full down etc. Not dangerous but not ideal.
misc: forcing athletes to stunt while injured. One girl was in soft cast, told her dr’s note said you are going to be cleared in 10 days so you can start now. She was injured further and required hard cast. Same girl in hard cast & my daughter in splint, coach told them they needed to base extension at a game and said whole team would condition if they didn’t
Yes some success at UIL but most of that was done by outside choreographer, a few times she ran practice but majority not.
As for hating my child...my daughter isn’t only one to say this...I won’t go into more detail post is too long. I do feel that she is treated differently and unfairly.
As I said I reached out with no response. I don’t feel comfortable going around her to the AD’s yet because I’m concerned about what will happen to my child. Unless my daughter is willing to leave program. Also coach is close to a few of her favorites (I know everyone says that too) certain girls are allowed to eat lunch with her, she even went on vacation with one of the older girls. But she does share things including parent emails with those girls then info generally it gets passed to most of the program, what was said, who snitched, etc.