All-Star Athlete/parent Intimidation

[littlestALLSTAR]

Interestingly enough , my words had nothing to do with coaches. So, your spin on them still comes across as insulting to me.
...and you're still insinuating I'm doing something underhanded or deceptive by sharing this post. Not so. Simply sharing because I believe it may resonate with some customers, currently unhappy in their gym situation. I have zero vested interest in where anyone cheers except for my own child.

 

[Cheerfan1234]

Interestingly enough , my words had nothing to do with coaches. So, your spin on them still comes across as insulting to me.
...and you're still insinuating I'm doing something underhanded or deceptive by sharing this post. Not so. Simply sharing because I believe it may resonate with some customers, currently unhappy in their gym situation. I have zero vested interest in where anyone cheers except for my own child.

I've apologized for you misinterpreting my post, and you're choosing to remain insulted by it. There's nothing I can do about that. It's clearly a sensitive subject that strikes a chord with you. Many parents who are unhappy in their gym situation usually leave without much prompting, including ones who are unhappy at your gym. It's just the way things are these days. I also have zero vested interest in where any of my friends' kids cheer and consequently don't have any desire to nudge them to "greener grass." Just because one kid loves a gym doesn't mean it's the right fit for everyone, regardless of how large or small it is.

 

[nicolee]

This is one of those circumstances where I just want to remind the universe that these are children we're talking about. Are coaches actually taking this sport so seriously that they won't let them go to an open gym or meet people from other programs? Families are paying for a service so their kids can participate in an activity and grow as human beings, not so they can be owned by their gym and banned from socializing with anyone not in a matching uniform.

Let the kids have fun and make friends, for goodness' sake.

 

[alexamarysouza]

Moving from a mega gym to a small gym after nearly a decade really opened my eyes to this. Gym 1 saw that my program after them was so successful, and constantly beating their teams...it broke my heart to watch kids leave my gym in the middle of the season because they had been offered bigger, "better" things...that were quite often not delivered. And I'm talking we had 3 people quit to train at Gym 1 two weeks before the Summit last season. Absolutely. Heartbreaking. Maybe during summer months when there's no routine-practice happening, but right before the last competition of the season, one we had to EARN a bid to? Like...could you not have waited literally 2 WEEKS?! It just blows my mind that people have no concept of respect for other programs in this sense. They must be offering big things if parents think it's a responsible decision to let the original team they signed up for down at such a pivotal part of the season. SMH.

 

[TheVipersMom]

We have been to open gyms or tumbling where coaches suggested she should cheer there or they would love to have her. One time one of the coaches told me they would talk to another coach and see if my daughter could have a spot on their j4 (when my kid was on y2 and didn't even have a standing tuck)
Or comments like don't you want to cheer here that have been made to my daughter.

Truthfully I never took those as recruiting. I took them as jokes because who in their right mind would leave mid season? Or just as compliments .. I bet they wouldn't care one way or another if my kid came. My one kid wouldn't make a difference to them so it doesn't bother me.

However I know boys have told me or told our boys on Cobras that they would love to cheer for Vipers but they think we must be expensive or they don't have rides here.

Personally if there are 3 or 4 boys in one area (like the south/west side of San Antonio) I would be willing to drive them to their practices myself!!!!! Some of the boys after seeing their friends on Cobras (our r5) don't feel they are good enough because they don't have fulls and I feel like boys are our weakness because of the side of San Antonio and our location the boys we have access to are a lot less and the boys on that side generally don't have the funds or the rides but have the skills and the want to be here.
I asked the owner if we got other boys without level 5 skills would a coed 4 be possible and she said absolutely.

So I had my daughter post it on IG and say if you are a boy and interested in Cobras to message her and I told the owner if she gets any interest to let me know because I want to do this for them. Give them the chances they deserve to have if they want to come:

My daughter posted it, she hasn't tagged the boys but trust when she posted it they have already messaged about it. Not sure it will work out but I don't take that as recruiting but if they see it and they want to come they know they have options. I want to do this because I feel like they deserve it and i really hope we can encourage more boys to do it even the ones who can't afford it. People previously have helped my daughters dreams come true and I would love to help others even if it's just car rides for practices.

Ps. And our tryouts are after everyone's this year because everyone is going to the summit so it's not taking these kids from their current teams if they do allstar even though most only do HS that have shown interest.


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[cheermomforever]

Moving from a mega gym to a small gym after nearly a decade really opened my eyes to this. Gym 1 saw that my program after them was so successful, and constantly beating their teams...it broke my heart to watch kids leave my gym in the middle of the season because they had been offered bigger, "better" things...that were quite often not delivered. And I'm talking we had 3 people quit to train at Gym 1 two weeks before the Summit last season. Absolutely. Heartbreaking. Maybe during summer months when there's no routine-practice happening, but right before the last competition of the season, one we had to EARN a bid to? Like...could you not have waited literally 2 WEEKS?! It just blows my mind that people have no concept of respect for other programs in this sense. They must be offering big things if parents think it's a responsible decision to let the original team they signed up for down at such a pivotal part of the season. SMH.

I agree! It is fine that u may want a new/bigger gym but very irritating to let a group of teamates down and only care about yourself! We had that happen last year AT Worlds. We knew she was leaving and thought maybe she would throw the comp,
but at the same time thought she wouldn't. Well every time in the air she came down or bobbled. All I say is Karma will happen!

 

[klynn64]

I think a gym that tried to intimidate an athelete into staying or removed an athlete right before world's over a rumor that they were switching after the end of the season would deserve a much worse spot in hell than parents who tried to recruit others to leave.

If I change from one cell phone provider to another, is it wrong for me to tell my friends about the good deal that I got w/ the new provider or how much better their service is? Why is AS cheer any different? The best defense against your competition is having a great product - if you're that scared that others will leave just by finding out about an alternative, you really must not be keeping your customers happy.

Here's the really upsetting aspect regarding a gym removing an athlete from a Worlds team. Due to the rules the athlete cannot cheer at another gym for the remainder of the season unless their gym will sign a release, which obviously won't happen. So the athlete is out for the year. What if it's their final year of cheer ? Why would the gym be threatened by the athletes friendships anyway? I say kick the busy bodies out and give the athlete their position back and a letter of apology. Then pray the parents don't sue you.

 

[klynn64]

I never realized how fortunate we are at our gym. We are free to go to open gym and/or tumbling elsewhere. We wear other gym's t-shirts in our gym (even our coaches do it). Parents are asked to leave the gym if they talk negatively about any other athlete or parent. Busy bodies are not entertained and will be asked to cease their discussion or leave. Relationships with athletes from other gyms are encouraged. Good sportsmanship is insisted upon. Recruitment from other gyms is not allowed. Athletes aren't allowed to join in the middle of the season (with few exceptions). I'm not saying everything is perfect at our gym. But our issues seem pretty minor in comparison.

I'm appalled that gyms are so insecure in their business that they are threatened by an athlete tumbling elsewhere, a picture posted with an athlete from another gym, or anything of the sort. If you are a gym that provides good service what is there to fear ? People will come and people will go no matter what you do. But, if you are good at what you do people will always be drawn to your gym. The only time you should feel threatened is if you aren't up to par. And you can require that the athletes sign contracts agreeing to all sorts of things but that doesn't make that contract enforceable in the eyes of the law. I think that the behavior of the gyms discussed here are grounds for a lawsuit.

As a parent I would rather my child never cheer than to attend a gym that behaved like these gyms discussed. All of the positive things that cheer has to offer are negated by the behavior exemplified (even promoted) by these gyms. It would be a blessing not a curse to be kicked out.

 

[Cheerfan1234]

I never realized how fortunate we are at our gym. We are free to go to open gym and/or tumbling elsewhere. We wear other gym's t-shirts in our gym (even our coaches do it). Parents are asked to leave the gym if they talk negatively about any other athlete or parent. Busy bodies are not entertained and will be asked to cease their discussion or leave. Relationships with athletes from other gyms are encouraged. Good sportsmanship is insisted upon. Recruitment from other gyms is not allowed. Athletes aren't allowed to join in the middle of the season (with few exceptions). I'm not saying everything is perfect at our gym. But our issues seem pretty minor in comparison.

I'm appalled that gyms are so insecure in their business that they are threatened by an athlete tumbling elsewhere, a picture posted with an athlete from another gym, or anything of the sort. If you are a gym that provides good service what is there to fear ? People will come and people will go no matter what you do. But, if you are good at what you do people will always be drawn to your gym. The only time you should feel threatened is if you aren't up to par. And you can require that the athletes sign contracts agreeing to all sorts of things but that doesn't make that contract enforceable in the eyes of the law. I think that the behavior of the gyms discussed here are grounds for a lawsuit.

As a parent I would rather my child never cheer than to attend a gym that behaved like these gyms discussed. All of the positive things that cheer has to offer are negated by the behavior exemplified (even promoted) by these gyms. It would be a blessing not a curse to be kicked out.

I completely agree with almost everything you've written except these few lines. Some athletes will leave their gym in a heartbeat if they're not placed on the team they feel they're entitled to be on or if they want to be on a team that might win NCA or Worlds, and they have every right to do so. But many times when this happens, it's not because the athlete was unhappy or because she/he wasn't receiving quality training to begin with. Parents and coaches from mega gyms with 500-2000 athletes and multiple locations might have a harder time understanding the firm rules that coaches from smaller gyms implement. We live in a brand name culture. We are drawn to the most popular brands before we even consider if they're the best fit for us. I'm guilty, too. For instance, when I go sneaker shopping, I know exactly what brand I'm getting before I even look around. I don't care if there are five other brands that are just as good but maybe a bit less popular. I want what everyone else is wearing and I won't compromise. It's a status symbol. You think Adidas, Reebok and New Balance feels threatened by Nike? You bet they do. So if you provide a good service, what is there to fear you ask? Fear people like me who value a logo over anything else, and we're everywhere. We're not always drawn to something because it's a quality product for us; sometimes we just like the way it looks on everyone else.

Tumbling/Stunting at other gyms -- If I were a gym director who puts countless hours and money into training my athletes the way I think is best, I personally would not allow them to attend other open gyms if I began to notice that my training was coming undone because so-and-so from this gym told them to "do it this way." That's not paranoia; that's protection. And if they came back to me in a boot/sling/cast because they weren't being spotted correctly or because they were allowed to throw a skill I would never allow, all bets would be off.

Disclaimer: Despite my perspective, I am still appalled by some coaches' actions. No one should be removed from a team for taking a picture with an athlete from another gym, and no one should be intimidated to stay where they don't want to be.

 

[mamabear]

I completely agree with almost everything you've written except these few lines. Some athletes will leave their gym in a heartbeat if they're not placed on the team they feel they're entitled to be on or if they want to be on a team that might win NCA or Worlds, and they have every right to do so. But many times when this happens, it's not because the athlete was unhappy or because she/he wasn't receiving quality training to begin with. Parents and coaches from mega gyms with 500-2000 athletes and multiple locations might have a harder time understanding the firm rules that coaches from smaller gyms implement. We live in a brand name culture. We are drawn to the most popular brands before we even consider if they're the best fit for us. I'm guilty, too. For instance, when I go sneaker shopping, I know exactly what brand I'm getting before I even look around. I don't care if there are five other brands that are just as good but maybe a bit less popular. I want what everyone else is wearing and I won't compromise. It's a status symbol. You think Adidas, Reebok and New Balance feels threatened by Nike? You bet they do. So if you provide a good service, what is there to fear you ask? Fear people like me who value a logo over anything else, and we're everywhere. We're not always drawn to something because it's a quality product for us; sometimes we just like the way it looks on everyone else.

Tumbling/Stunting at other gyms -- If I were a gym director who puts countless hours and money into training my athletes the way I think is best, I personally would not allow them to attend other open gyms if I began to notice that my training was coming undone because so-and-so from this gym told them to "do it this way." That's not paranoia; that's protection. And if they came back to me in a boot/sling/cast because they weren't being spotted correctly or because they were allowed to throw a skill I would never allow, all bets would be off.

Disclaimer: Despite my perspective, I am still appalled by some coaches' actions. No one should be removed from a team for taking a picture with an athlete from another gym, and no one should be intimidated to stay where they don't want to be.

I couldn't disagree with you more. I doubt that you would be complaining if an athlete came back with a skill that he or she was working on or broke through a block while tumbling elsewhere. I am so tired of gyms who think that they own the athletes. If an athlete is not missing a team practice to be elsewhere, no one should have say on what they do with their off time. I agree that some might be checking out another gym, but they might be there because of something simple and innocent; like they want to be with their freinds for an evening or maybe the hours or commute is better for them. It hurts a gym to be so closed minded about their kids, and it drives families away. There are a ton of gyms in NJ, and it is the consumer's right to find one that works best for them, wether it be for a team , tumble or open gym.

 

[TheDivineCheerYaYaSecret]

The cream always rises.

If someone is going to a gym based solely on their name then they may find later that the big name gym isn't right for them for whatever reason. So maybe they want to go back to their old gym. But what if the old gym has basically declared "You are dead to me" and won't have them back? Isn't that cutting off your nose to spite your face?

 

[Carriejoe]

The cream always rises.

If someone is going to a gym based solely on their name then they may find later that the big name gym isn't right for them for whatever reason. So maybe they want to go back to their old gym. But what if the old gym has basically declared "You are dead to me" and won't have them back? Isn't that cutting off your nose to spite your face?

True. We moved to a big gym from a small one and when we met with the owners to tell them we were leaving we said just that. "It might not be for us, could we come back if it isn't?". They said of course. I think it is smart not to close that door both for the athlete and the gym.

However, as the season has progressed it makes me think otherwise. :-(

As many posters have said, cheer is a business and you need to run it as such. People's situations change and its important for the sport that athletes have options.

 

[Cheerfan1234]

I couldn't disagree with you more. I doubt that you would be complaining if an athlete came back with a skill that he or she was working on or broke through a block while tumbling elsewhere. I am so tired of gyms who think that they own the athletes. If an athlete is not missing a team practice to be elsewhere, no one should have say on what they do with their off time. I agree that some might be checking out another gym, but they might be there because of something simple and innocent; like they want to be with their freinds for an evening or maybe the hours or commute is better for them. It hurts a gym to be so closed minded about their kids, and it drives families away. There are a ton of gyms in NJ, and it is the consumer's right to find one that works best for them, wether it be for a team , tumble or open gym.

I couldn't disagree with you more. I doubt that you would be complaining if an athlete came back with a skill that he or she was working on or broke through a block while tumbling elsewhere. I am so tired of gyms who think that they own the athletes. If an athlete is not missing a team practice to be elsewhere, no one should have say on what they do with their off time. I agree that some might be checking out another gym, but they might be there because of something simple and innocent; like they want to be with their freinds for an evening or maybe the hours or commute is better for them. It hurts a gym to be so closed minded about their kids, and it drives families away. There are a ton of gyms in NJ, and it is the consumer's right to find one that works best for them, wether it be for a team , tumble or open gym.

You're probably from a mega gym?

I understand your perspective, too, but at an open gym, it's much easier for an athlete to get injured in ten seconds or to pick up bad habits than it is for she or he to break through a mental block which can sometimes take months and usually has nothing to do with the instructor.

 

[mamabear]

The cream always rises.

If someone is going to a gym based solely on their name then they may find later that the big name gym isn't right for them for whatever reason. So maybe they want to go back to their old gym. But what if the old gym has basically declared "You are dead to me" and won't have them back? Isn't that cutting off your nose to spite your face?

That is so true! I have seen it happen, especially with the small gyms, because of the limited amount of teams that they have per level and a parent will look elsewhere to find what suits their child the best. ( note, I am not talking about someone who is chasing worlds team, but more of someone who doesn't want their young kid on a junior team when they age out of minis; because their gym doesn't field youth teams, or maybe because they don't want their kid to skip a level to be placed age appropriately).

Eta- and they might want to return to their original gym later when the age or levels work better for their child


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[NJ Coach]

You're probably from a mega gym?

I understand your perspective, too, but at an open gym, it's much easier for an athlete to get injured in ten seconds or to pick up bad habits than it is for she or he to break through a mental block which can sometimes take months and usually has nothing to do with the instructor.

She's not.

I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with anything you've said, but I do have a question. You said if you were a director, you wouldn't necessarily allow your athletes to tumble elsewhere. Would you allow athletes from other gyms to come tumble at yours?