OT Bullying Problem Got Worse..

[SharkDad]

cheysmomager I think there's a big difference between being a crappy immature coach and being a bully. Now it sounds like his behaviors in encouraging the other gym members to post unkind things on your daughter's Facebook page was encouraging bullying by her peers, but I cannot label him a bully for calling your child a drama queen or a quitter. Again I'm in no way trying to minimize or dismiss your daughters unfortunate experience with this coach but I just would not say that the coach bullied her.

We've agreed on a lot of things. This is not one of them.

No one in a position of authority is ever right to ridicule a child in front of others.

 

[SharkDad]

littlebear you are getting lots of good advice here.

Consider that at some point you have to stand up for what is right and not allow someone to bully you, and therefore anyone else.

If it continues, it may be appropriate to let your school know that if they don't do something to stop the bullying then you will take all your evidence to the school board. . and then the police if necessary.

I'd be surprised if one of those two won't listen.

Please stay positive and I wish you luck.

 

[CheerBank]

We've agreed on a lot of things. This is not one of them.

No one in a position of authority is ever right to ridicule a child in front of others.

100% agreed. And I was very clear on that.
But my question was is this bullying? Or have we just expanded the definition of bullying to such a degree that it has become a catch-all phrase to describe a very wide variety of behaviors?

 

[SharkDad]

100% agreed. And I was very clear on that.
But my question was is this bullying? Or have we just expanded the definition of bullying to such a degree that it has become a catch-all phrase to describe a very wide variety of behaviors?

Fair enough. I hope we both agree what the coach did was not ok

 

[jcheermom]

I believe that saying bullying is a catch-all phrase is too vague and dismissing, but I do think that 'bullying' has evolved into a class of wide variety of behaviors. These are separate and distinct in that bullying has become so much more in this day and age of technology and with all of the potentially serious consequences that we all see and hear about bullying, we must put an end to bullying. PERIOD!!

 

[Just-a-Mom]

I agree with CheerBank that bullying has become too widely used as a word, and it minimizes it's meaning sometimes. I know that's not a popular opinion, but I'm just not really into this trend of calling everything that's mean "bullying" - not to say that being mean is OK either. It seems like being "against bullying" is the latest cause everyone is into, and it just gets under my skin, because half the people I see promoting it are the biggest bullies I know.

However, I'm not overly comfortable debating whether something is bullying or not on a thread in which a teenage girl has asked for help in something that I thoroughly feel is bullying. If we're going to debate whether something is bullying or not, perhaps we should move that to our own thread - preferably on the parent board, since I don't really think that teenagers should be made to feel like we're questioning whether they're feelings are legit or not. Seems like littlebear might have enough adults in her real life questioning her.

 

[CheerBank]

I agree with CheerBank that bullying has become too widely used as a word, and it minimizes it's meaning sometimes. I know that's not a popular opinion, but I'm just not really into this trend of calling everything that's mean "bullying" - not to say that being mean is OK either. It seems like being "against bullying" is the latest cause everyone is into, and it just gets under my skin, because half the people I see promoting it are the biggest bullies I know.

However, I'm not overly comfortable debating whether something is bullying or not on a thread in which a teenage girl has asked for help in something that I thoroughly feel is bullying. If we're going to debate whether something is bullying or not, perhaps we should move that to our own thread - preferably on the parent board, since I don't really think that teenagers should be made to feel like we're questioning whether they're feelings are legit or not. Seems like littlebear might have enough adults in her real life questioning her.

Absolutely. This was never questioning littlebear though and I apologize to her if she in any way thought this digression into what is bullying was in response to her posts.
My question was in response to the mom who posted the video of her daughter telling her story of being bullied by her cheer coach, and I hope you can tell from all of my posts on this thread that in no way was I dismissing her feelings, I was just questioning (solely based on the information shared in the video) if it was a case of bullying or of an immature coach who needs many hours of training in how to speak to children.

SharkDad I have actually been thinking about this issue quite a bit over the last day, wondering if my definition of bullying is too narrow. Have not come to a conclusion quite yet.

 

[Nothanks]

I agree with CheerBank that bullying has become too widely used as a word, and it minimizes it's meaning sometimes. I know that's not a popular opinion, but I'm just not really into this trend of calling everything that's mean "bullying" - not to say that being mean is OK either. It seems like being "against bullying" is the latest cause everyone is into, and it just gets under my skin, because half the people I see promoting it are the biggest bullies I know.

However, I'm not overly comfortable debating whether something is bullying or not on a thread in which a teenage girl has asked for help in something that I thoroughly feel is bullying. If we're going to debate whether something is bullying or not, perhaps we should move that to our own thread - preferably on the parent board, since I don't really think that teenagers should be made to feel like we're questioning whether they're feelings are legit or not. Seems like littlebear might have enough adults in her real life questioning her.

I'd like to see it in the 18+ thread--I'm sure a lot of us young adults have a lot of opinions on the topic but aren't in the parents section

 

[cheysmomager]

First of all, my only intention of putting that video on this thread was that I read a lot of pain in that young woman's first post and I THOUGHT she needed a friend that could be understanding. I did not realize when I put the link the whole video would pop up. I have since tried to delete it, but don't know how. I NEVER implied my daughter had it worse than she did.

When I first started going through my divorced, I went online and joined divorce support groups. There were people there who ex's made mine seem like the Pope. There were others that thought I was divorcing Charles Manson. But no matter how hard your divorce was or how easy it was........everyone was welcome. Although I wasn't a fan of support groups before, I have since become a believer.

In response I got a reply from a young person that felt I needed to be taught what bullying REALLY is. Although she was very polite, she basically told me that people like me were the reason the true victims couldn't get the help they needed.

I explained in one of my responses that there are several people in this industry that have actually HEARD the audio of him when he got the entire gym together to say she quit, what he felt about it, then suggested to 60 kids what they should do to her. Never once stating the true reason she quit....which was that he was not willing to follow her doctors orders because he knew better!!

Many times I have thought about posting that audio on here, but I knew that would make me no better than him. But if it is really that important to 'try my daughters case' on this thread, feel free to email me and I will gladly send you the audio so you can make a more informed decision before crucifying me any more. My email address is [email protected].

In the meantime, I am going to see what I can do to get that video off this thread so that maybe someone will help littlebear before it becomes to late for her. She doesn't want my help, but maybe someone here can help her the way she feels she needs.

 

[King]

In deference to littlebear , can we move the discussion back to the OP?

 

[CEAisstronger]

Talk to the new administrators

 

[KDCheerMom]

littlebear please let us know how you are doing...since your original post