I'm about to get defensive. And it's long so if you want to keep reading about ICE/CEA skip this post.
Never once did I say that I thought pushing through misery is the greater teacher. I said it taught me great life lessons and provided me with mental strength - coping mechanisms and ways to sit back and reflect on things that happened to move me forward. And never once will I ever compare someone's mental health story with someone else's because they are both valid and both important. I was just saying that sometimes its good to push through the disappointment.
Let me also say that no one in my family "stood on the sidelines" while I was at that gym. Maybe I'm presenting it like it was awful but you are assuming a lot about my situation.
Not that it's really your personal business, though I know I wrote that stuff on a public forum so I guess it's fair game to anyone,but there are really two things you should keep in mind before you decide to stick with your opinion about me and my family.
1. I was in that gym for 8 years and the second to last year is when things really started to going down hill. My last year there, promises were made by the staff that things would get better from the previous year, they didn't. I decided that year was going to be my last and that I would finish it out no matter what - for my friends. My gym had a very large percentage of fairly underprivileged kids who really didn't have a great home life, who lived in the inner city or the outskirts where money is tight, there were foster kids who were beat down by the system and saw hard times, lots of kids with emotional and behavioral issues, etc. About 3/4 of the program was that. My parents were actually coaches my first 6 years there when things were ok. They both quit their last seasons after being treated poorly because they tried to fix what was happening - the behavior issues, the money issues, the security - and they were met with complete disrespect by the owner day in and day out. My parents were so committed to this gym, you have no idea. They bought the gym it's gymnastic mats because the gym literally had no tumbling mats. My dad built stunt stands for flyers, those boxes you jump up on like you see in crossfit, training tools for bases. He worked with our tumbling coach to get conditioning stations in place and then built all the equipment we needed for them because our gym couldn't afford to buy any. My parents got certified up to level 4 even though our gym only went up to level 3. They got their judges certification so they could be better coaches for these kids. They did this for free. All of the equipment my dad built he did it out of his own pocket. My parents are not that well off either. They tried to change it and fix it, they did not stand on the sidelines but you can only take so much until it beats you down. They finished their seasons and then resigned. The last two years they weren't coaching, they were still involved with the gym. They would drive kids too and from practices, they would buy kids food if their parents didn't send them with food, always on the buses, always team chaperones, always there for the kids. At the same time, they were there with me, so I always felt safe even if something was happening. They tried their best and the gym eventually crumbled, then merged, then crumbled again, and was eventually bought out. But they were there the entire time I was there. Not on the sidelines. Caring about some of these kids' cheer lives more than their own parents did. For you to assume they did nothing and are guilty of whatever you think they're guilty for is really hurtful to me. My parent's sacrificed so much for other people's kids. To me, that's the real Suzie's Mom and Suzie's Dad. (For those of you not up to speed, hi, my name is Suzie.) It's not their fault that kids (and adults) misbehaved. It broke their hearts to have to quit coaching because they loved it and loved the hard-to-love kids on my team. They left the cheer world when I switched gyms. I made the absolute most of my last two years of eligibility at Gym B. I loved it and I worked hard at it and for it.
2. Cheering at the only other gym in the area that was worth going to wasn't an option until I was 16 and could fundraise the $$ to cheer myself, which I did. I fundraised it all. My area is not like many other areas of the country where you have multiple gyms to choose from. Even now, I think Syracuse only has 2 gyms. (Someone correct me if I'm wrong.) And if you're a very strong level 5 athlete and want a good Worlds contender team, then you drive out of state - MA of NJ or just leave home and live with someone else. So you can't just "find another gym." Sometimes it's a matter of you cheer or you don't cheer. Maybe you wouldn't let your kid cheer at all if you couldn't afford Gym B and you won't enroll your child in Gym A, that's your prerogative. But to criminalize people who want to cheer so bad and can only afford Gym A and will put up with the stuff that happens there just so they can cheer isn't right IMO. We don't have options.
Yes, looking back there are moments that stick out that I say "why was I still there at that point" or "how did my parents trust me enough to be in that situation". But if I was in any real, immediate danger my parents would've pulled me. If they weren't constantly in the gym and knew all the kids and parents themselves, I definitely wouldn't have cheered at all. They were more committed to my cheer than a lot of parents are to any of their children's activities. And they were more committed to my team mate's cheer than their own parents.
You don't have to apologize if you still feel that my parents and I are awful people for some reason or another but at least get your facts straight first.