All-Star Coach Has Affair With Girl On Senior Team, Would You Let Your Child Cheer Their?

[canz]

For those that are of the opinion its ok- As a general statement, please bear in mind that abuse tends to happens in situations of power and control. If a coach has used their position as an opportunity to enter into a relationship with an athlete that is an unsafe practise. I would be very wary as a parent to put any child into the care or under the guidance of a person where their safety might be jeopardised regardless of how good the coach is. All too often abuse victims are friendly with their abusers and at the time may even view the relationship as ok only to grow up as adults and realise they were taken advantage of. Please be very careful.

 

[canz]

It is not a matter of morals for me. I would contend to say a coach that is not capable of keeping his/her impulses (sexual, physical - say he hit a cheerleader) in control and accepting the professional boundary of a coach and cheerleader is not a good coach even if he produces results. I am sure there are things that coaches in our gym do outside of work that would not agree with my moral code (cheating on a spouse like supposedly occurred in the example the thread started with) but if it comes into the gym and involves the boundaries that they as a coach should have then that is where I say no way.

This...I can't shimmy you enough. It is not about morals it is about professional boundaries, coach and athlete safety.

 

[Mamarazzi]

Sorry, drewpate , but I didn't have the 1st idea who cheermominar was referring to, what programs or even what state. Wasn't even curious, until you posted. I'm sure as far as many of us are concerned, this isn't happening near us, so it's hypothetical.

 

[Cheer Cougar]

I noticed the comments here from the athletes seem to feel its ok, and a good coach is a good coach. All of us adults seem to agree that nothing about this situation is right or should be accepted. That's why I don't let my child make certain decisions. That's where parenting comes in. Jmo

 

[retiredcheerleader86]

Absolutely not. This hits home to me as this happened too much with one coach in the gym I came from. A coach has an inherit responsibility to be a role model among other things, and once the parent has left the child at the gym, the coach is in a supervisory role. In no way, shape, or form is relationship okay, past or present, and I would never support a gym that lets these kind of situations slide, regardless of the cheerleaders' age. What happens once surely can happen again. It's not a good look and DOES affect how the gym is perceived by others. It does not matter to me how great of a coach one is or how many talented athletes they push out or how many national championships they have won. End of rant.

 

[Cheer Dad]

If it was an undisputed fact the coach had an affair with an underage athlete then I am not sure i would want my CP at that program but would look at the whole scenario as well. Him having other extra marital affairs with consenting adults outside of the gym is none of my business but might come into play depending on how he conducts himself at the gym.

 

[retiredcheerleader86]

I would like to ad that the coach may have all the extramarital affairs he wants.... OUTSIDE the gym and NOT involving any student/cheerleader.

 

[CGAcheer]

What do you think of a gym that hires a coach that they knew had a affair last year (he was married, wife just has 1st child then) with a girl on the senior squad last year at another gym (where he use to coach)? Would you let your cp cheer their? It's a pretty well known gym that hired him, so it's not like they would be desperate for a coach.

So, it's a little bit difficult to discern the details.
Things that are crucial in making a decision on this are not clear:
Ages
Did he actually coach the girl?
If he did, did the affair occur during his coaching of her?
Did the affair occur after he had already moved to another gym?

Dating a consenting adult who used to cheer at a gym that you used to coach at, not so bad.

Having an affair with a 12 year old that you're currently coaching, you should be in jail.

 

[xtremeteal4life]

I think the intent of this law is to avoid the situations of high school kids having sex and the boy getting arrested if, for example, he's 18 and she's younger. In that case, it can be argued that she consented and he didn't take advantage of her.

As for the liquor laws, I really think we are the only state that you can't buy beer in the grocery store. . .unless of course it's a specially licensed store that the state approved that isn't too close to another store. lol

Nope..Alaska's like that. Was 16-17 yrs ago when I lived there and still is. ALL alcohol must be purchased in a "liquor" store, whether it be beer, rum, wine cooler, etc. Not in the grocery store, not in Wal-Mart, not at a gas station...only a liquor store. AND if you're young and they see people out in the car, they can (and will) come out and card everyone in the car and if anyone isn't of legal drinking age they cannot/will not sell you any alcohol even if you're 21. Also, you have to be 19 to purchase cigarettes there AND clubs that serve alcohol cannot allow anyone under the age of 21 to enter (like most of the other states I've lived in including here, they let you in clubs, but w/o a bracelet or stamp, etc. you cannot drink). They also have completely "dry" villages in some of the more remote towns in AK. Like it's completely illegal to possess any alcohol in any way, shape, or form- including homemade.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

I'm surprised nobody has pointed out the error in the title with the amount of grammar nazis on here :rolleyes:

eta. smalls beat me to it.. but seriously it took that long

and to add to conversation, honestly it depends i know me personally i probably would not feel comfortable as an athlete knowing my coach is with a girl on the team mainly because it feels like im being seen as a potential 'mate' regardless of the coach actually wanting to be with anybody on the team or not. Now if your comfortable with still being there and know not to put yourself in a comprimising position then i do not see why it is such a bad thing to have them coaching as long as owners, athletes and parents are aware of the basis of the situation.

*You're

:p (only because your post was about grammar)

 

[ssccxnce]

*You're

:p (only because your post was about grammar)

oh.. yeah... that was totally intentional.. glad to see you were paying attention... :rolleyes:

 

[minamay]

Nope..Alaska's like that. Was 16-17 yrs ago when I lived there and still is. ALL alcohol must be purchased in a "liquor" store, whether it be beer, rum, wine cooler, etc. Not in the grocery store, not in Wal-Mart, not at a gas station...only a liquor store. AND if you're young and they see people out in the car, they can (and will) come out and card everyone in the car and if anyone isn't of legal drinking age they cannot/will not sell you any alcohol even if you're 21. Also, you have to be 19 to purchase cigarettes there AND clubs that serve alcohol cannot allow anyone under the age of 21 to enter (like most of the other states I've lived in including here, they let you in clubs, but w/o a bracelet or stamp, etc. you cannot drink). They also have completely "dry" villages in some of the more remote towns in AK. Like it's completely illegal to possess any alcohol in any way, shape, or form- including homemade.

That's intense. Any particular reason why you have to be 19 to purchase cigarettes and not 18? Also, do they have clubs that then cater to the 18-20 year olds? Just curious!

 

[xtremeteal4life]

That's intense. Any particular reason why you have to be 19 to purchase cigarettes and not 18? Also, do they have clubs that then cater to the 18-20 year olds? Just curious!

Only strip clubs honestly. So many guys and military guys under 21 that's the only type of environment that can really make money and be dry.
Not sure about the cigs..but I do know Alaska has the highest suicide rate, divorce rate, drug and alcohol addiction, and forcible rape rates out of all the other 49 states. When I lived there (1996-2000) and I was shocked to find out they still do. They've "hovered" back and forth between the top three states in these numbers depending on whose stats you're viewing, but per capita they have the highest out of all of these. :(
Forcible Rapes and Sexual Assaults in Anchorage
Highest Divorce Rates By State: New Data From 'Marital Events Of Americans: 2009' Report



*I've found better statistics than these (last year I believe I found them for one of my online health classes), but you get the gist. You can search "Alaska drug abuse stats" or "Alaska crime stats", "Alaska divorce stats", etc. and find similar info. I believe they have (and have had) one of the higher rates of young adults using tobacco as well and it's a way to attempt to circumvent the staggering numbers. I remember when I moved there in 1996 that cigarettes were like 30bucks a carton (17 years ago) and that's roughly the cost they still are here in NC. At the time (1996) in NC a carton went for 10-12 bucks. Since I live in Greensboro, NC and Lorillard is here and we're right next to Winston-Salem (RJR tobacco company) I just remember thinking it was crazy that they would spend that much money on cigarettes (not to mention being in enclosed areas bc it's subzero outside :eek:)

But they've always been ahead of the curve when it came to things like not allowing smoking in restaurants for example though (that was nice). They allowed in in clubs/bars, but that was it. I remember being the most shocked about the drinking thing though- those are some tough laws.

*Apparently I can't post all the links at once- maybe the server thinks I'm spamming, IDK so I'll have to break them up

 

[xtremeteal4life]

Only strip clubs honestly. So many guys and military guys under 21 that's the only type of environment that can really make money and be dry.
Not sure about the cigs..but I do know Alaska has the highest suicide rate, divorce rate, drug and alcohol addiction, and forcible rape rates out of all the other 49 states. When I lived there (1996-2000) and I was shocked to find out they still do. They've "hovered" back and forth between the top three states in these numbers depending on whose stats you're viewing, but per capita they have the highest out of all of these. :(
Forcible Rapes and Sexual Assaults in Anchorage
Highest Divorce Rates By State: New Data From 'Marital Events Of Americans: 2009' Report



*I've found better statistics than these (last year I believe I found them for one of my online health classes), but you get the gist. You can search "Alaska drug abuse stats" or "Alaska crime stats", "Alaska divorce stats", etc. and find similar info. I believe they have (and have had) one of the higher rates of young adults using tobacco as well and it's a way to attempt to circumvent the staggering numbers. I remember when I moved there in 1996 that cigarettes were like 30bucks a carton (17 years ago) and that's roughly the cost they still are here in NC. At the time (1996) in NC a carton went for 10-12 bucks. Since I live in Greensboro, NC and Lorillard is here and we're right next to Winston-Salem (RJR tobacco company) I just remember thinking it was crazy that they would spend that much money on cigarettes (not to mention being in enclosed areas bc it's subzero outside :eek:)

But they've always been ahead of the curve when it came to things like not allowing smoking in restaurants for example though (that was nice). They allowed in in clubs/bars, but that was it. I remember being the most shocked about the drinking thing though- those are some tough laws.

*Apparently I can't post all the links at once- maybe the server thinks I'm spamming, IDK so I'll have to break them up

http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2011/tables/11s0304.pdf
http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2012/tables/12s0133.pdf
State-Level Data on Substance Abuse and Mental Illness | SAMHSA News
Welcome to Google Docs

 

[xtremeteal4life]

http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2011/tables/11s0304.pdf
http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2012/tables/12s0133.pdf
State-Level Data on Substance Abuse and Mental Illness | SAMHSA News
Welcome to Google Docs

http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2011/tables/11s0304.pdf
http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2012/tables/12s0133.pdf