High School Coach prob.. advice needed!

[taylormclayne]

So I'm a sophomore, and this year my best friend is a jr(captain) and I found out my coach is talking bad about me to her, saying she doesn't want me to be a flyer because I'm too competitive and that I take cheer to seriously, pretty much getting mad at me for wanting to be good, her daughter is my age and on the squad too, but she isn't really that passionate like I am, I know she wants her daughter to fly (she told me) and for her daughter to be in the front, and just recently I was put in the back right behind her for the dance at camp during our jump sequence and I'm our best jumper. By far, I just don't know what to do because she basically doesn't want me to be seen, I'm one of the best flyers on our team now and def smaller than the girls she's been putting up(only in preps cause that's all they can do) I just don't understand why it's happening to me... HELP!


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[MHSCheercoach]

Coming from a coach, the best advice is to talk to her. Tell her that you feel like she doesn't like you and that you had heard rumors to that nature as well. See what she says. If you still feel that she is not treating you fairly, by this I mean being mean to you, disregarding you or ignoring you at practices, or talking poorly about you to others, then talk to the athletic director. No coach should ever talk poorly about an athlete to another athlete or parent, those are conversations that should stay between the coach(s) and the athletic director if they feel that athlete is a problem.
Now on the flip side, I had a similar situation come up lately. I have an athlete who can very well be an awesome cheerleader...when she tries. I have tried many different options of motivating her and our UCA instructor suggested I put her up front along with some of my other newer athletes to push them to be better. She put it like this...if they are always in the back or hidden then they'll never strive for perfection because they won't get noticed as much if they mess up...but if you put them up front then they'll probably work harder so that they don't look like a fool up front. This could be the situation as well with putting you further back and others up front and perhaps she's trying to get the other flyers more experienced as well. Granted, it could be completely opposite and she may be playing favorites or resenting you because you have such passion. But talk to her first, continue to give her respect even if she isn't respecting you and go thru the proper channels to remedy the matter. GOOD LUCK and don't let anyone take your passion away from you... that's the difference between being good and being a champion!

 

[Cheerxoxo]

I think you should talk to someone other than your coach because obviously she wants her daughter to do everything in front. So try talking to your athletic director about this problem


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[Mocha_NYCHEER]

Coming from a coach, the best advice is to talk to her. Tell her that you feel like she doesn't like you and that you had heard rumors to that nature as well. See what she says. If you still feel that she is not treating you fairly, by this I mean being mean to you, disregarding you or ignoring you at practices, or talking poorly about you to others, then talk to the athletic director. No coach should ever talk poorly about an athlete to another athlete or parent, those are conversations that should stay between the coach(s) and the athletic director if they feel that athlete is a problem.
Now on the flip side, I had a similar situation come up lately. I have an athlete who can very well be an awesome cheerleader...when she tries. I have tried many different options of motivating her and our UCA instructor suggested I put her up front along with some of my other newer athletes to push them to be better. She put it like this...if they are always in the back or hidden then they'll never strive for perfection because they won't get noticed as much if they mess up...but if you put them up front then they'll probably work harder so that they don't look like a fool up front. This could be the situation as well with putting you further back and others up front and perhaps she's trying to get the other flyers more experienced as well. Granted, it could be completely opposite and she may be playing favorites or resenting you because you have such passion. But talk to her first, continue to give her respect even if she isn't respecting you and go thru the proper channels to remedy the matter. GOOD LUCK and don't let anyone take your passion away from you... that's the difference between being good and being a champion!

I say take everything in that MHSCheercoach says. Being a coach myself and also being on the other side your on I kno it's painful to be the best and put in the back but maybe she's doing it to make the others be more shown so they have something to work for... Now her talking about you to other athletes that's not professional and also not being a good coach you should have told you mother and also tell the AD about it as well wish you the best


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[CheerKatie08]

I say take everything in that MHSCheercoach says. Being a coach myself and also being on the other side your on I kno it's painful to be the best and put in the back but maybe she's doing it to make the others be more shown so they have something to work for... Now her talking about you to other athletes that's not professional and also not being a good coach you should have told you mother and also tell the AD about it as well wish you the best


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Unrelated, but I saw your username... do you cheer at NYCheer?! I basically lived there back in the day!

 

[Dreamingteal]

You need to go up to up to her with your mom. Say that you don't appreciate her talking about you behind her back and it's really immature. Remind her that as a coach she is supposed to do what is best for the team. She is not doing her job if she is putting you behind someone in a area that you are better in. You should say all of that but in a respectful way. If that doesn't work than you need to go to someone with a higher authority. If that doesn't work and you tried to make it work I would consider leaving the team and move on to bigger things. P.S. I think your coach likes cheer and is only doing it so her daughter can be in the front. Just Saying

So I'm a sophomore, and this year my best friend is a jr(captain) and I found out my coach is talking bad about me to her, saying she doesn't want me to be a flyer because I'm too competitive and that I take cheer to seriously, pretty much getting mad at me for wanting to be good, her daughter is my age and on the squad too, but she isn't really that passionate like I am, I know she wants her daughter to fly (she told me) and for her daughter to be in the front, and just recently I was put in the back right behind her for the dance at camp during our jump sequence and I'm our best jumper. By far, I just don't know what to do because she basically doesn't want me to be seen, I'm one of the best flyers on our team now and def smaller than the girls she's been putting up(only in preps cause that's all they can do) I just don't understand why it's happening to me... HELP!


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[AllstarObsession]

I would give it the benefit of the doubt until you know for sure. Try bringing it up to her. The rumors could be completely fasle.

If it continues, I would go to the athletic director.

 

[MTcoach]

As a coach, I know if one of my girls had a problem, I would want them to talk to me privately and directly if they had an issue. Not text or phone call, but before practice/after practice ask if you can have a meeting. I know a few others said to take your mom with you. I don't recommend that. You are 15/16 years old. Try to talk to her alone first. If you then don't get results, THEN bring your mom into it.

I wouldn't tend to believe rumors, they could be completely false, or completely misinterpreted.
Example, this statement: "pretty much getting mad at me for wanting to be good"

Do you get angry at other girls on the team if stunts/cheers/dances don't go right? Do you say things that are hurtful/could be perceived as hurtful? I've coached girls like this, and I can see the passion for wanting to do good, but they bring the whole team down by berating teammates for not being "good enough".

Take a step back and think about how you are actually behaving, reacting at practice. How is your attitude? Do you complain? Do you play the blame game? Are you saying things to the other girls on your team that may have gotten back to the coach?

If you truly do not think you do any of the above things, then go to the coach and ask what's up. I don't recommend being too confrontational, just say "I noticed that I'm not flying anymore, and got placed in the back, is there something I need to work on to fly again/get moved up front?" If the coach says: "No, there was no reason"...or something along those lines, then I would bring up what your friend told you.

If the coach tells you why you're not flying, or why you're not in front, don't fight it. Address what she told you that you need to improve on at practice. You may not think it's fair, but it's her decision, and her team. You will not always get along with every single person in life, and that's okay, but you should recognize the people that are trying to make you better.

If nothing improves, then I would go through the chain of command, or whatever is outlined in your rule book. For me it's Coach-Student, Coach-parent-student, Coach-AD-parent-student.

I hope that helps! :) Good luck!