Coaches Swearing At Cheerleaders

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Jul 30, 2011
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Has anyone attempted to address a coach who consistently swears at cheerleaders? I am part of an All Star gym and it seems like most of the other parents are afraid to talk about this or address it? I am not a prude and do curse in front of my children (which I am not necessarily proud of), but it baffles me that a coach, who is a parent, would this it is ok to curse at another child or group of children consistently? Thoughts?
 
I think there may have been a thread discussing this from a while ago... let me see if I can find it for you!
 
It's 100% unacceptable. As a parent I would find a time when I could speak with the coach in private and simply say, "I've noticed you use profanity around the kids (directed at the kids). It's unacceptable and I'm asking you to stop." I'd leave it at that. No discussion of the topic. If they become angry or agitated, direct them to speak with the gym owner. If the cursing continues, do not address this with the coach. Go directly to the gym owner and let them know that, in private, you made the coach aware that you were not happy with the situation and asked them to stop and the behavior continued.

If you're not comfortable approaching the coach privately, I see no problem with going directly to the gym owner. I would keep my statement short and to the point, i.e.: "I'd like you to keep my name confidential with this. I've seen Frank curse at Susie/kids on Susie's team. I wanted to make you aware and to ask you to address this concern and ask that Frank stop this behavior. As I parent I do not appreciate him speaking to the kids that way."

Bottom line: you're the customer and this is a quick fix to keeping the customer happy. Gym owner can tell the coach to stop and they'll stop....or further HR action will be taken.
 
Ive actually had a coach, who upon a cheerleader coming into practice with a torn ACL screamed numerous swears and told her she was the r-word for tearing it and told her to get a forgetting chair and sit the forget out of practice because she forgetting brought down the whole team. It was crazy, and I don't think anyone did anything about it. Obviously I wrote the PG version of what she said, you fill in the blanks haha.
 
I probably should have been more clear ... the Coach doing the swearing is the Gym Owner. I think people don't address it because they have a "then this may not be the gym for you" type of attitude. I just can't believe more than one hundred families are willing to pay thousands of dollars to have another adult swear at their children ....
 
Any coach every directing any sort of curse at a child is absolutely, unexcuseably, unacceptable. For any reason, ever. If I were a parent I would go directly to the program director. I would usually say take it up with the coach, but this is an issue that needs to be brought to an upper's attention. And if it didn't quit I would continue to complain until action was taken. I would also alert other parents to raise discontent. I take care to not even use the words "butt" "stupid" "retarded" or "shut up" around my kids because I know some parents don't allow those words. How would that coach like it if the kids swore at him/her. They'd be doing push ups. Be the image you wish to see in your cheerleaders. They do as they see.
 
I would talk to the coach/owner about it, then if nothing changes be prepared to find a new home. I wouldn't want my children in that environment!
 
I probably should have been more clear ... the Coach doing the swearing is the Gym Owner. I think people don't address it because they have a "then this may not be the gym for you" type of attitude. I just can't believe more than one hundred families are willing to pay thousands of dollars to have another adult swear at their children ....

If this is the gym owner, and they have a "then this isn't the gym for you" attitude....they're right-that isn't the gym for my family! I would still bring it up to him/her, to give them the opportunity to correct their behavior. If they are not receptive or are rude....be prepared to walk away. Now (summer) is the only time to walk away and still get a spot in another program.
 
WAIT?!?! WHAT?!?! This is unbelievable! That behavior is absolutely unacceptable!

If what you say is true and this is the gym owner behaving this way..maybe they are right that "that gym is not for you." Cheerleading is not JUST about winning..of course, it is a perk=) But anyone who owns a cheer gym or coaches at one, needs to realize that they are setting an example for children. And if that was the example they were okay with setting for my kids, I would just need to find a better fit for my family.
 
Unfortunately, we have encountered this sort of behavior at multiple gyms by several different coaches. Some of the things that have flown out of their mouths have been quite astonishing. My CP and her older cheer friends laugh about how ridiculous some of the stuff they have had screamed at them over the years really is, but she does worry about the younger girls on her team. The best one was when a coach screamed at a girl that he was going to bleeping tear her head off bleeping kill her. The girls actually rolled around on the floor laughing hysterically and holding their necks, going "oh ok sure, we are dead".
 
the coaches dont sware at the little kids. i mean even if they do sware at thee older teams they know what it means. the coaches swaring means there mad. then do what your supposed to do and dont make the coaches mad! just listen and do what your told!
 
Would you have a different stand if it was a different sport? I'm reading these thinking "These parents would hate my lacrosse coaches". Do you think it's acceptable for some sports but not others? Like @briana said, they do it at the older athletes and not the younger ones. So it's not like they've never heard it before (if they don't use that language themselves)
 
Would you have a different stand if it was a different sport? I'm reading these thinking "These parents would hate my lacrosse coaches". Do you think it's acceptable for some sports but not others? Like @briana said, they do it at the older athletes and not the younger ones. So it's not like they've never heard it before (if they don't use that language themselves)

Absolutely not. The Field Hockey coach at our local high school is under fire for the exact same thing. This is a man who has won multiple state titles in FH and girl's lax.....he's been a jerk for years, but finally crossed the line this past school year by cursing at the girls and making other derogatory remarks (you lost because you're fat and slow). You do not speak to children that way, for any reason.
 
As a gym owner/director, there is NO occasion where swearing at someone else is acceptable. It doesn't matter who the person is (athlete, parent, co-worker) and it doesn't matter the age. If a coach were to swear at a child in our gym they would be spoken to immediately, asked to apologize and change their attitude. If this was not done, and willingly, the coach would be let go. Our gym's philosophy is to provide a positive and cooperative atmosphere for athletes.

In your situation, I would address the owner in person and in private to state my opinion and ask that it stop. If the coach/owner was not receptive to change then I would walk out. The coach/owner needs to know that disrespect will not be tolerated. I wish you luck with this :)
 

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