All-Star Dream Deferred???

[Pebbles49]

I thought this was going to be a discussion on the on the Langston Hughes poem.

That is exactly why I name this Thread - 'A Dream Deferred' I was thinking about that poem that questioned what happens to desires and dreams when they go unfulfilled...
This year has been a very interesting one for me, I met young athletes who quit and could not face not making a Jr5 or fast track to that elusive dream team-- many who were told after being on a Y5 team for 3 or more years,,, nope, you on the level 4 team and they quit... out of shame! These athlete believed that VO that they were guarantee a spot on a L5 team if they work hard enough...
PS: I am just curious, a 'Dream Deferred' can also mean, to take a break from the dream and comeback stronger... I have not heard any uplifting tales about Y5 or Jr5 athlete deferring the dream and coming back... Is this a possible dream? (Only wondering???)

 

[ErinS]

I thought this was going to be a discussion on the on the Langston Hughes poem.

...My niece used to love Langston Hughes poems....and old spirituals....

 

[Pebbles49]

Doesn't World Cup have a rule about first year worlds eligible athletes being on Stars? Don't they usually do Suns, Ody or Omni when they're 12 then move to Stars the following year?

My understanding, you need to be 13 to be on any Worlds team at WC... I guess some exceptions have been made in the past, when the child is close to 13 and someone on a Worlds team is injured... but I was told, WC really want their athletes to be on Jr teams to get their training before moving to the Worlds team...

 

[notimeforthat]

There are no rules!
As I said in a previous post... Its like a help wanted... if there are 3 openings for flyers and there are 10 applying they are going to screen and pick the best 3 for the job! There may be others applying from other teams and outside of the gym that may be better. It doesn't mean you won't get the job next year...
There is no fast track at World Cup...Don't let anyone tell you different....Its do you have what they need at the time they need it??

 

[SL&AM]

We're not with the WC gym, so I can't and won't speak to their culture, but I can tell you that, to me, my job as a mom is to keep my CP grounded. Right now, she's at the top of her current team; she gets to be the example and help the other girls out...etc. etc, and it's a role that is GREAT for her because she excels at leadership. She will often tell you that she is working hard so that one day she can make a World's Team...our gym doesn't even have a world's team, but that is her goal. And while all of her friend's are going to the pool or going to the park, she is telling me point blank that she's sorry I'm tired, but she still needs a ride to the gym because she can't drive herself.

She's 5 pushing 6; and I've spent the last year finding the balance between helping her achieve those goals (we are moving soon and will be within decent driving distance to a more well-known, respected, multi-team facility that we plan let her try) and reminding her that she's 5. Our compromise over the summer was cheer M-Th, off F-Sun; no more than 3 hours per night, and she continues to ask for more. And continues to wonder why her BFF is skipping tumbling class to go to the pool when she knows she won't get that tumbling class again until the next week, but the pool is still going to be there all weekend.

But keeping athletes grounded is a role I think most parents should take...if my child were a "x" and all she was told at the gym was "A team is your future," then to me, as a mom, it's my job to take her aside and remind her that, while goals and dreams are very important to have, she also has to understand the reality that it may not happen. Maybe it's a skill, or an injury, or they just don't need her at that point in time for the spots they have. It's a fine line between prepping her for the future, not just in cheer but in all aspects of her life, while also not crushing her desires all together.

If an elite world's team is in her future, I'm fine with that, and we'll see to it that she is where she needs to be to do that; but I'll be damned if she grows up to believe that success is measured by being on that one team and watching her fall apart if she doesn't make it to the elusive A team, because I'll know I could have done something years prior to negate that.

I think disappointment is a very driving emotion to experience; and some will rise up and go over even their own expectations once they've been knocked down...but to have your dream be ripped to shreds in a heaping mess before you and have no idea how to handle that emotionally is what essentially is the final nail in the coffin for too many. And this definitely applies to the dance world as well...I've watched young girl's be absolutely devastated to go from a Junior LVL Pom or Jazz team to a Senior Prep Pom or Jazz simply because they weren't need yet, or they were still working on a specific turn sequence...etc. And I've watched more than a few walk away from the sport indef for it. Sadly, the second hand embarrassment from it was typically parent driven there too.

 

[Pebbles49]

Wow, I wholeheartedly agree with your statements... Your thoughts were exactly what I was thinking about when I named this thread...

 

[SL&AM]

Wow, I wholeheartedly agree with your statements... Your thoughts were exactly what I was thinking about when I named this thread...

Thanks :) I'm not sure if I would have always grow up to be the parent I am without spending some time in an AS sport myself, or if this is always what I would have thought; but growing up in sports and competing AS has definitely taught me the do's and don'ts from parents long before I even thought to be become one---I saw the BS my mom put up with, the drama our studio owner fielded, and how it effected my friends day in and day out, and while I never expected to have a little girl with such big dreams in such a small body, I know that I want more for her from me than some of my closest friends got from their parents when we were on a squad together.

It's a hard balance right now, and I hope once we move to a bigger area, with larger gyms, that I'll meet more down to Earth parents and less of 'Suzie's mom' because where I'm at now I'm surrounded by the latter.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

Sadly, the second hand embarrassment from it was typically parent driven there too.

YES.

I've found that in many cases, a child didn't really have any negative reaction to a team placement until a parent chimed in.

Example: The girl who made Y2 for the second year instead of Junior 3. She was perfectly ok with it because a lot of her friends were going to be on it with her. Her mom was not okay with it, and spent a lot of time saying (to other parents) that she was disappointed to see her "on the baby team again."

First practice, guess who is pouty faced and saying "this is the baby team?" Yep. Y2 girl. She was fine the week before. The "baby team embarrassment" was definitely driven by mom and she totally picked up on it.

 

[whatstheTEA]

This is random but a little girl on the mini team I help out with never wants to do anything & when we asked her she said because she doesn't like cheerleading, she likes soccer. It's so funny but also sad I guess her mom or some one is making her do it

 

[amanda-flips]

This is random but a little girl on the mini team I help out with never wants to do anything & when we asked her she said because she doesn't like cheerleading, she likes soccer. It's so funny but also sad I guess her mom or some one is making her do it

One time I was at open gym and I saw a mom standing at the edge of the floor, "coaching" her Suzie. (I know she wasn't a staff member.) Her Suzie refused to tumble and the mom tried to bribe her by saying "If you don't throw x-skill right now we're not going to Brianna's sleepover." It was sad and now her daughters going to hate cheer.



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[whatstheTEA]

One time I was at open gym and I saw a mom standing at the edge of the floor, "coaching" her Suzie. (I know she wasn't a staff member.) Her Suzie refused to tumble and the mom tried to bribe her by saying "If you don't throw x-skill right now we're not going to Brianna's sleepover." It was sad and now her daughters going to hate cheer.



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I feel so bad for those girls. I mean I will give my daughter all the opportunities in cheer and i would love if she cheered but if she doesn't like then i won't force her

 

[CheerBank]

This is random but a little girl on the mini team I help out with never wants to do anything & when we asked her she said because she doesn't like cheerleading, she likes soccer. It's so funny but also sad I guess her mom or some one is making her do it

We knew a kid who was in 8th grade whose mother would only allow her to play lax and volleyball for her school if she continued with all-stars at the same time. It was quite sad because the kid's heart was no longer in cheer at all. The mom was very caught up in her circle of "cheer mommies" and did not want to give that up. Fortunately for the kid her mother finally let her quit the following season when the mom's good friend let her cp only do school cheer.

Stories like this amaze me though. Sports are supposed to be fun for the kids - expecially at the younger ages when there is usually less pressure - and I could never imagine dragging my kid to a sport and making her/him participate. I can see making them finish a committment (my oldest finished her soccer season in 1st grade even though she was busier watching the wind in the trees than the ball kicked across the field) but not to continue on when the interest is not there.

 

[JuniorFusionFire]

Just out of curiosity, who is on WCSS that was in the Twinkles documentary?

I actually only know of one who was on WCSS from 2013-14, and a couple who were on lites from 2013-14. Don't know.if I can list names of minors on here or not. Also don't know what teams they are on this upcoming year.

 

[Helen uk uni cheer]

I quite like the fact that in the uk the really youth and junior teams mainly go up to level 3 and I think there are only a couple of programmes with junior 5. It means there is less pressure on the younger athletes and they are generally happer on the lower level teams as there is more competiton and more fun. e.g a junior 2 at nationals you can compete with up to around 16 teams with any higher its only 6 or less at the moment. Kids need to be kids and enjoy cheer.

 

[JuniorFusionFire]

Haha yess this response is awesome. There's a number of scenarios Ive seen:
The kid does the twinkles/lites/stars route.
The kid prefers to not be on stars but still continues with a worlds team.
The kid doesn't move past a restricted 5 level.
The kid will go from y5 to j4 (this is extremely common) and stay on level 4.
The kid may lose skills and continue to cheer at a lower level.
The kid burns out and quits at the youth age or sometime before a senior team.
It really does depend on the specific athlete and their skill set, love for the sport, etc


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(sorry for double posting)

Question: why would kids mive from Y5 to J4 and stay there? Just curious?