Help, Please! Mental Block

[Ally'smom]

Hi all! I'm new to these boards. I am a mother to a 14 year old girl who has developed a mental block. About three years ago, she tore her ACL while tumbling in the gym. After surgery and physical therapy, she returned to the gym excited to tumble again. Over the course of a few weeks, she became more fearful and started performing less and less skills. About a year and a half ago, she just stopped tumbling all together. She wants to tumble again so badly and also wants to try out for another allstar team. We have tried private lessons, hypnosis, and reading tons of articles on mental blocks. She is heartbroken and so discouraged. Have any of you had success overcoming mental blocks? If so, what worked for you? I thought about trying a sports psychologist but don't have a clue how to find one who has been successful in treating athletes with mental blocks.

 

[queenie]

Hi. I'm so sorry to hear that, I know how stressful it is as a parent to watch your child struggle. My daughter had one for about two years and every time I watched her it broke my heart to watch her struggle and I never knew what the best thing was to do for her. I really never knew if we should just keep at it, despite the frustration, as the ultimate goal is overcoming the block and the feeling of accomplishment that goes along with it and I was worried that if we quit in the midst of the block that she'd feel like she failed.

It was two long years - she got her skills back for a few months and I thought it was over and then boom - all gone again and another long year of trying to work through it. Then one day she had a lightbulb moment - I can't even tell you what the trigger was - but she got her skills back and then some. I still worry that it will happen again and I don't know if I can watch her struggle through it again. I don't know what triggered the loss and fear, and I don't know what triggered getting them back again.

This article was fabulous - we listened to the podcast together a few times:
How To Get Over Mental Blocks (with Jeff Benson From Mindbodycheer) | Fierce Board - The Voice Of Cheer

and there are a few other threads here:

Mental Blocks | Fierce Board - The Voice Of Cheer

Mental Block | Fierce Board - The Voice Of Cheer

Good luck - honestly the best thing you can do is to support her, give her the tools to work through it (time in the gym, etc) and then step back and just let her know you love her regardless.

The sports psychologist we saw wasn't that helpful. She said that my daughter was already doing all the right things and she should just keep doing what she is doing. So we didn't continue seeing her after the initial consultation.

It just took time and the podcast I shared above helped my daughter get over the panic and stress and realize that she doesn't have to get it back immediately. We also moved her down from a level 3 team to a level 1 team and that was the best thing we could have done - took all the stress away and gave her more time to work through it.

N

 

[Ally'smom]

Hi. I'm so sorry to hear that, I know how stressful it is as a parent to watch your child struggle. My daughter had one for about two years and every time I watched her it broke my heart to watch her struggle and I never knew what the best thing was to do for her. I really never knew if we should just keep at it, despite the frustration, as the ultimate goal is overcoming the block and the feeling of accomplishment that goes along with it and I was worried that if we quit in the midst of the block that she'd feel like she failed.

It was two long years - she got her skills back for a few months and I thought it was over and then boom - all gone again and another long year of trying to work through it. Then one day she had a lightbulb moment - I can't even tell you what the trigger was - but she got her skills back and then some. I still worry that it will happen again and I don't know if I can watch her struggle through it again. I don't know what triggered the loss and fear, and I don't know what triggered getting them back again.

This article was fabulous - we listened to the podcast together a few times:
How To Get Over Mental Blocks (with Jeff Benson From Mindbodycheer) | Fierce Board - The Voice Of Cheer

and there are a few other threads here:

Mental Blocks | Fierce Board - The Voice Of Cheer

Mental Block | Fierce Board - The Voice Of Cheer

Good luck - honestly the best thing you can do is to support her, give her the tools to work through it (time in the gym, etc) and then step back and just let her know you love her regardless.

The sports psychologist we saw wasn't that helpful. She said that my daughter was already doing all the right things and she should just keep doing what she is doing. So we didn't continue seeing her after the initial consultation.

It just took time and the podcast I shared above helped my daughter get over the panic and stress and realize that she doesn't have to get it back immediately. We also moved her down from a level 3 team to a level 1 team and that was the best thing we could have done - took all the stress away and gave her more time to work through it.

N

Thank you so much for your encouragement and words of wisdom! Like you, my heart just breaks watching her struggle with this. I actually ordered Jeff Benson's book, Unblocked, yesterday. I'm going to share the podcasts with her as well. Thank you so much for sharing that information with me!!

 

[mischiefmanaged]

Hi! My daughter had a mental block last year. Hers came from the year before breaking her arm doing a back walkover then the doctor clearing her way to soon and the arm breaking again while doing a back walkover.

When she got cleared last summer to tumble again, she was really excited and asked me to take her to an open gym and a local gymnastics place right after being cleared. So we went and she froze. She literally just stood there and after talking with the owner who was encouraging her she did a back kick over then was ready to leave. At practice it took her coach talking to her but she started doing back walkovers with a spot. It was hurt breaking for me to watch and then a couple months later she did it on her own only to afterwards keep asking for a spot. She also refused to start learning her back handspring. I also had her in a tumbling class but I felt it was making it worse so I pulled her out of that.

About that point I read an article that I wish I had saved to share. It said to take a look at the questions you are asking your child and I realized after practice I always asked "Did you do your back walkover?" As soon as she got in the car. The article however suggested not to mention tumbling at all, instead to ask "So what went good at practice today?"

I tried this approach, she only tumbled at practice so afterwards I would ask "What went good at practice today?" And stopped talking about tumbling. She wouldn't mention tumbling at first but she would get excited and tell me something that went well and we would talk about that. Then after her first competition I asked her "What went well?" And she told me she did her back walkover in warm ups. I wanted to make a huge deal about it but I just talked about it like I would if she said her stunt group hit.

She got to where she would do them more even started to do them during competitions. Her coach told me she still wouldn't start learning a back handspring but we didn't push it. At the end of the season she asked to start learning her back handspring so her coach spotted her, she did it then she went and cried for a while cause it scared her. A couple weeks later she went to a day cheer camp in the city her grandma lives in and I got a video of her doing spotted back handsprings and a message saying she teared up the first time but after that she had been doing them all week with a spot. By the end of June I got another message and video saying she has it she just doesn't trust herself without a spot.

My advice is don't push it. If she isn't on a team then find a tumbling class, not a private and also think about the questions you ask. CP even told me later part of it was feeling pressured to tumble again but once I stopped mentioning it and she got to go at her own pace she felt less pressure and it just clicked.

 

[Ally'smom]

Thank you so much! That's great advice about not mentioning the tumbling. She actually feels anxious just talking about tumbling. I'm learning not to push too much. It really does make the anxiety and the mental block much worse. I will definitely try to help her to focus on the positive! Thanks so much for your insight!!

Hi! My daughter had a mental block last year. Hers came from the year before breaking her arm doing a back walkover then the doctor clearing her way to soon and the arm breaking again while doing a back walkover.

When she got cleared last summer to tumble again, she was really excited and asked me to take her to an open gym and a local gymnastics place right after being cleared. So we went and she froze. She literally just stood there and after talking with the owner who was encouraging her she did a back kick over then was ready to leave. At practice it took her coach talking to her but she started doing back walkovers with a spot. It was hurt breaking for me to watch and then a couple months later she did it on her own only to afterwards keep asking for a spot. She also refused to start learning her back handspring. I also had her in a tumbling class but I felt it was making it worse so I pulled her out of that.

About that point I read an article that I wish I had saved to share. It said to take a look at the questions you are asking your child and I realized after practice I always asked "Did you do your back walkover?" As soon as she got in the car. The article however suggested not to mention tumbling at all, instead to ask "So what went good at practice today?"

I tried this approach, she only tumbled at practice so afterwards I would ask "What went good at practice today?" And stopped talking about tumbling. She wouldn't mention tumbling at first but she would get excited and tell me something that went well and we would talk about that. Then after her first competition I asked her "What went well?" And she told me she did her back walkover in warm ups. I wanted to make a huge deal about it but I just talked about it like I would if she said her stunt group hit.

She got to where she would do them more even started to do them during competitions. Her coach told me she still wouldn't start learning a back handspring but we didn't push it. At the end of the season she asked to start learning her back handspring so her coach spotted her, she did it then she went and cried for a while cause it scared her. A couple weeks later she went to a day cheer camp in the city her grandma lives in and I got a video of her doing spotted back handsprings and a message saying she teared up the first time but after that she had been doing them all week with a spot. By the end of June I got another message and video saying she has it she just doesn't trust herself without a spot.

My advice is don't push it. If she isn't on a team then find a tumbling class, not a private and also think about the questions you ask. CP even told me later part of it was feeling pressured to tumble again but once I stopped mentioning it and she got to go at her own pace she felt less pressure and it just clicked.

 

[queenie]

I let my daughter lead any conversations about cheer. I don't mention it, ever. I don't watch her tumbling lessons or practice. I stepped waaaay back. So I don't ask anything other than "how was practice" when I pick her up from practice and if she wants to talk about anything that happened, that opens the door for her. But usually she just says "good" and then we talk about something else.