How Do I Motivate My Daughter...

[Tumblingmama]

She only tumbles for now, taking a break from AS. To much drama/stress last season. She is the only most of the time is the only one in her class (L4), thus she complains (would like for their to be others) or is just plan lackluster about it. Even though she is a L4 she is lazy or lackluster about it all. She would prefer to tumble with others. Tumblers and AS do not have tumble classes together. If they did that would take care of her being alone problem. She will not even do a private unless she can share it. She wants to-do AS again this season, but we've told her no, so it's not a matter of her not wanting to cheer and me forcing her. I've tried to offer her incentives (for learning new skills/stunts etc.) or even considered finding some where else to tumble (which really isn't a option). Their have been a few times when I've asked the coach and he has been fine bumping her to the lower level group (right before hers). I feel I am imposing when I do this (even though coach says it's fine when I've questioned him) and thus don't feel I can't cont. this habit for her. I did ask coach if he could see a difference in her when she is alone verses with with others and he said "yes". She is only 9yrs and I don't expect her to be overly mature & logical, but it's gonna be a long 9 months for her until sign ups again, I don't want her to give up and quite over something so silly as being the only one in her skill group. I feel she has come to far to give up.

 

[SheCheers]

I would just move her to a class that had other kids. Why is she not allowed to do all star next year? Is that part of her lack of motivation...knowing she won't be "using" the skills?


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[INeverStopCheering]

Is it that she doesn't like this sport anymore? It sounds like she's saying without saying that she's gotten bored with this activity


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[CheerBank]

Was the drama/stress last season athlete related or parent related? Did she not want to cheer this season or did you not want her to cheer?
Maybe she can join a half year team this season to keep up her motivation and overall skills, especially if she is asking to go back to all-stars. And I would also just put her in the class with the other kids; I would think the coach would have her work on her level appropriate skills regardless of what the class is called.

 

[Tumblingmama]

SheCheers & NeverStopCheering- Basically she isn't doing AS due to us (dad and I) wanting a break for the season. She wants to sign up.

Cheerbank - She is in the group that is at her skill level, the problem is she is the only one (their are two others, but they show up about 1/2 the time at best and I don't see them cont. once school starts). This seems to make her lack desire or motivation in wanting to continue. Their have been times when I've asked and the coach let her go with the lower skill group before her. I just feel I am imposing whenever I ask. I am sure coaches are always having to hear this and that from parents, could you do this or that, etc.

 

[DropAndRun]

You're looking to motivate her to do an activity youre technically forbidding her to do? I don't understand. I would lose my motivation in that situation too.

 

[Tumblingmama]

You're looking to motivate her to do an activity youre technically forbidding her to do? I don't understand. I would lose my motivation in that situation too.

We aren't forbidding her to do AS, just wanting to take a break for this season. If someone gets hurt, I've told the owners and coach we would consider letting her be a alternate later in the season. Alas, we aren't made of $ and we would like to spend our $3,000+ in other places this year. Their is a possibility DD will need braces, DS will be wanting a car (do I deny my son things due to his sister? He has been quite the trooper going to all her comps, and doesn't ask for much.), dishwasher is broken, garage door opener is broken, house needs paint. We live life cash only, and we've always paid for the season of cheer all at once. Also, when the government (DH employer) cuts all Fed. employees days down to 4 days a week and does not hand out raises for 3years, it takes a toll on a families income. Last season my husband had cancer, which was a stressful way to start the season. Just because we are taking a break doesn't mean she can not have the opportunity to improve her skills. She participates in other non AS cheer events and it's pretty much a 100% given she can join in 9 months when the season starts all over again. Also, at times she speaks of wanting to try other things, with the AS schedule it's hard to add in piano lessons, dance etc. We can tumble and something else. I am not one of those parents that sign their child up for a immense amount of things at once. Their is one girl on the squad that does, at one time 3 or 4 other things (this includes AS). That just is to much for us (when practice is 5/7 days a week and school on top of that).

Maybe, DropAndRun you are a adult with a oodles of $ at your disposal so the $ end is never going to be a issue. Maybe your spouse has no heath issues? Maybe your parenting revolves around one child, and you don't have to balance things out with siblings. Maybe your a child that doesn't comprehend all this ?

Basically, she wants to tumble she is just lonely, being the only one in her skill level group. When this month is over I more then likely will just ask if they can put her in the lower level where she is with others. Right know she is taking a cheer geared class at the gym that overlaps with that class.

 

[DropAndRun]

@Tumblingmama I have zero interest in filling you in on my life backstory except that I can assure you of a few things.

1. It's been a while since I was a child.
2. You aren't the only one without a perfect life
And 3. When something in my life goes awry, it's not my children who suffer the consequences.

 

[CheerBank]

@Tumblingmama - not sure why the harsh response to @DropAndRun. She merely asked for clarification as to the situation. I believe I asked the same question in an earlier post.
No one is looking to judge you on your choices for you child or your family in regards to cheer. If you start a thread asking for advice, people are often going to want some additional details or clarification of the original post before commenting if things were not clear to begin with.

 

[quitthedrama]

@tumblingmama - wow - just wow at your tirade towards @dropandrun. You started the thread and merely said your child wasn't doing allstars due to "To much drama/stress last season" and answered follow up questions with "Basically she isn't doing AS due to us (dad and I) wanting a break for the season. She wants to sign up." These are direct quotes from your posts. Granted, you have no obligation to post all of the reasons why it was not in your best interests to sign your CP up for all stars again, and I wish only the best for you and your family and hope your situation improves, but I was under the same impression the rest of those who responded was - you pulled your CP only due to your drama and not your CP's and it was a shame that CP seemed to be the one dealing with the consequences. I can assure you that the majority of us who have a CP (or two or three of four) in allstars do not have oodles of $ at our disposal and have several other commitments and family stress that make juggling the commitment of allstars difficult at best and nearly impossible at times. We do it because we value what it has given back to our children. It isn't for everyone, and sometimes no matter how hard we try it may not be possible to make it work - and that is okay, but don't blame those that were kind enough to take the time to respond to you with honest answers and genuine willingness to help.
Best of luck to your CP. Maybe being at the gym watching team practices knowing she can not compete this season is just too much for your CP to handle at such a young age. Perhaps tumbling at a gymnastics facility would be a better option.

 

[cheermommaRN]

Wow...I love when people ask for an opinion and then freak the f out when people ask for more information before giving a response.
Guess what 95% of us don't have "oodles" of money, a majority of us sacrifice by working two jobs, not taking vacations, and budgeting tightly to make this happen. Shocker some of the people on this board are single moms with more than one kid cheering.
So pump the brakes and sashay away...


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