High School Is This Coach Being Too Hard?

[luscheermom]

My daughter is struggling with her standing tuck. Her coach is making her do it over and over again in practice, even though she is having trouble landing it. I have her in extra tumbling classes, and she is supposed to do it in the routine. This same coach also had my daughter in tears last year making her run laps because at the time she was just getting her roundoff tuck, when she couldn't land it. Now my daugher thinks the coach hates her, and doesn't want to cheer after this season. Should I talk to the coach? I don't want to be the meddling parent, but I don't want to see her unhappy either.

 

[cheerheart4life]

I understand her making her throw the standing tuck, but thats ridiculous to make her run. Running won't help her land the skill. I suggest talking to the coach about it but try and not be "that parent". Just discuss with her that the running is a bit extreme & inform her that your daughter is in tumble classes and is very dedicated but all the working she is making her do is making her hate it. She should understand (if she has a heart). Good luck! I have seen this happen before and I know how hard it is. If all else fails, she can just not cheer again. The coach will be missing a great athlete and it will be her fault, not yours or your daughters.

 

[MyDaughterCheers]

It's hard when you're in a situation where your child feels that the coach doesn't like her. We were just in that same position and ultimately switched gyms. That being said, I feel that the bottom line is that you are paying for a service. If you are unhappy with the way the service is being delivered, you need to speak up. Also, if your child's self-esteem is being harmed, please don't allow it to continue.

 

[luscheermom]

Thanks, this is a High School team, which makes it a little more difficult, I may say something to the coach, she may not know how my daughter feels, i'm trying to figure out how to do it tactfully though...!

 

[Mamarazzi]

Since you daughter is high school age, is it possible to teach your cp how to address the situation herself? I think this is one of those times when a lesson can be learned.
Some coaches are just that way, and they push - HARD - but will ultimately be your cp's biggest supporter, and be the first one to shed joyful tears when cp does land that tuck.

 

[AScheer]

Since you daughter is high school age, is it possible to teach your cp how to address the situation herself? I think this is one of those times when a lesson can be learned.
Some coaches are just that way, and they push - HARD - but will ultimately be your cp's biggest supporter, and be the first one to shed joyful tears when cp does land that tuck.

Agree with this. Especially since the child in question is in high school. I would have your daughter talk to the coach.

 

[AScheer]

My daughter is struggling with her standing tuck. Her coach is making her do it over and over again in practice, even though she is having trouble landing it. I have her in extra tumbling classes, and she is supposed to do it in the routine. This same coach also had my daughter in tears last year making her run laps because at the time she was just getting her roundoff tuck, when she couldn't land it. Now my daugher thinks the coach hates her, and doesn't want to cheer after this season. Should I talk to the coach? I don't want to be the meddling parent, but I don't want to see her unhappy either.

As one of these type of coaches - no I don't think she's being too hard. She may not be handling it in the best way though. My girls know that when I push them its because I believe in them. I tell them almost every day that I'm not here to baby them, and I can and will be mean when I have to, but like Mamarazzi said I'm the biggest supporter when they finally get the skill. I also make sure they know I'm proud of them and love them even on days they aren't landing. Your coach just may need to make sure she's also letting your daughter know she cares about her and isn't doing this because she hates her. I also force girls to throw skills, because I know they can. Your coach would not have the skill in the routine if she didn't think your daughter could do it, and if she doesn't make her throw it, how will the she ever get it? I also make girls run. No it doesn't help with the skill, but many times it helps make the girl at least throw the skill instead of just standing there psyching her self out. From a coaches perspective the day I stop pushing you is the day I no longer care if you improve or not.

 

[Mamarazzi]

@AScheer - as long as your kids know you love them, not because you say so, but because you've proven it, BEFORE you rip them a new one, it's ok. I think that's the difference, like you said. Cp has a coach who terrifies her, and she throws skills, and works 10x harder out of fear, not out of love. So basically, what she's learning is that you should please someone (who probably won't ever be pleased enough) so you don't get embarrassed, belittled, screamed at, punished, or cussed out. Nice lesson for young girls to learn. And they're learning it so very well. That's freaking scary.

 

[luscheermom]

Well, my daughter is still only 14, and I know she should speak to the coach herself, but by nature I don't think she has the guts, lol....I think this coach just isn't doling out enough praise along with the pushing, giving her the feeling the coach doesn't like her. My concern is that it to the point where she doesn't want to cheer next season...I think there should be some fun in it too. I know of another school where most of the entire team quit leaving no team at all because the coach was too strict with them.

 

[Mamarazzi]

Well, my daughter is still only 14, and I know she should speak to the coach herself, but by nature I don't think she has the guts, lol....I think this coach just isn't doling out enough praise along with the pushing, giving her the feeling the coach doesn't like her. My concern is that it to the point where she doesn't want to cheer next season...I think there should be some fun in it too. I know of another school where most of the entire team quit leaving no team at all because the coach was too strict with them.

Is your cp being singled-out as the worst cheerleader on the team? Does the coach make everyone run or repeatedly practice a skill to the point of exhaustion, or just your cp? You might try sitting in on a practice to see if the coach abuses equally or talk to the other parents to see if their cps complain about the same issues. If they do, your cp might take comfort in knowing that it's not personal.
Of course your cp doesn't have the "guts," she's 14! What I'm saying is that there's never a comfortable time, in anyone's life, to do something the first time. Especially something like this. So, when she's 24 and has a boss that's "mean" to her, are you going to the HR dept for her? Because she's only 24, for goodness sake...

 

[xxcheer77xx]

I know a program where 10 people quit already this season. Its because there are strict rules, constant practice, constant conditioning, a mandatory tumbling coach who everyone dislikes, and constant yelling, it just became unbearable for those girls. When you put too much stress on a athlete there is only so much you can do, I feel like your daughter will soon start to question why she cheers if it causes her that much stress, simply because its not fun anymore. But unfortunately, since it is high school, you cant really do anything about coaches. The girls basically said they would go into practice and say 'wait, why am I here?' just because they began to hate it so much this year.
Cheerleading is supposed to be fun, but some coaches get too into winning and rules that they lose their focus of what cheerleading is really supposed to be. I also know that the coaches get even more aggravated when parents e-mail them or talk to them, I personally believe its because they don't necessarily want parents e-mailing them every time Suzie gets scolded, but there needs to be a point where a coach can talk to a parent.

Thats really not right what that coach did to your daughter, the coach completely lost her focus on your daughters feelings.
I know how your daughter feels, and I know how hard it is (trust me I have/know plenty of stories just like yours), just have her keep going this year and maybe do all-star next year.
Its frustrating but in high school, but you really cant do anything. :(

 

[JulieP]

Well, my daughter is still only 14, and I know she should speak to the coach herself, but by nature I don't think she has the guts, lol....I think this coach just isn't doling out enough praise along with the pushing, giving her the feeling the coach doesn't like her. My concern is that it to the point where she doesn't want to cheer next season...I think there should be some fun in it too. I know of another school where most of the entire team quit leaving no team at all because the coach was too strict with them.

As a coach, I think your daughter needs to open up to the coach herself. One of the best things about cheer is that it builds confidence and mental strength. This is an important lesson for her to learn. I also think the coach loves the sport and sees heaps of potential in your daughter- that's why she pushes so hard.

 

[coachrah]

My daughter is struggling with her standing tuck. Her coach is making her do it over and over again in practice, even though she is having trouble landing it. I have her in extra tumbling classes, and she is supposed to do it in the routine. This same coach also had my daughter in tears last year making her run laps because at the time she was just getting her roundoff tuck, when she couldn't land it. Now my daugher thinks the coach hates her, and doesn't want to cheer after this season. Should I talk to the coach? I don't want to be the meddling parent, but I don't want to see her unhappy either.

Is her coach giving her the proper drills and technique training to support the development of the skill? Constant repitition with no process to the desired end result will not accomplish much except bad habits, overuse/impact injuries, and a defeated mindset. Exercise as punishment is a whole different topic.

 

[ErinS]

Reason 13094823 why I hate high school coaches. I personally think your daughter needs to talk to the coach herself, it will be good experience for the real world and she shouldn't let some __________ run her off from doing something that she loves. My younger sister is in a situation with her high school team where she was removed from the competition routine for not going to the optional "team practice" at an all star facility where she doesnt feel comfortable. When they put her back in the routine she was placed in the back for everything, not included in stunts or tumbling despite having a standing tuck and a robhstuck/layout on a team where majority of the girls don't even have more than a standing bhs .if even that..having hyper extended jumps, and most girls aren't even at level...shes just an overall better performer, dancer etc than 95% of that team. I tell her time and time she needs to flat up go up to her ignorant coach and tell her about her self but shes too passive and wont do it and just stands there and gets walked over like shes a doormat.

Anyway logn story short, your daughter needs to talk to the coach herself and be thankful that the coach has an iota of confidence in her because like I just said...she could be in a worse situation

 

[luscheermom]

Thanks for all the input..my daugher did have her standing tuck, and then lost it, so maybe that is why the coach is driving her, but in a way I feel like its punishing her for some reason, and she should be encouraging her also. In any case, I may encourage her to speak with the coach, so at least the coach know's how she's feeling. (maybe even the assistant coach, who is the nicest person you will ever know). I just don't want her to hate going to practices because of this, or dropping out.