High School Is This Coach Being Too Hard?

[oldcheermom]

I can just imagine the fear your daughter might have, thinking she would have to talk to her coach about this. In her mind, what is she supposed to say? "Coach, I think you hate me." That's going to go over real well. Sure daughter needs to learn how to handle situations, but I think this needs parental assistance.

Sometimes, as a parent, we need to intervene, not as "that parent" as some say, but just to find out what really is going on. You know daughter's side of this, but not coach's side. I like the suggestion of sitting in on a practice or two. Talk to the coach about your concern that your daughter is not landing her tuck. Does the coach know about the extra tumbling classes your daughter is taking? Ask the coach what she thinks could be done to help your daughter through this. Don't go in attacking, but asking for coach's opinion and help resolving the issue. It may or may not take care of things, but at least give it a try. If things don't improve, you can always go all-star next year, or try a different high school sport.

 

[MyDaughterCheers]

@AScheer - as long as your kids know you love them, not because you say so, but because you've proven it, BEFORE you rip them a new one, it's ok. I think that's the difference, like you said. Cp has a coach who terrifies her, and she throws skills, and works 10x harder out of fear, not out of love. So basically, what she's learning is that you should please someone (who probably won't ever be pleased enough) so you don't get embarrassed, belittled, screamed at, punished, or cussed out. Nice lesson for young girls to learn. And they're learning it so very well. That's freaking scary.

I know this thread is about high school cheer, but your statement above exactly describes my CPs old gym.

 

[gymcatmomx2]

I would have to disagree about the comments that state that the parent should get involved because the daughter is only 14. I have 2 daughters, 14 and 11 that do high school and All-Star cheer. I don't think that a child is ever too young to voice their feelings and opinions to an adult.. as long as they do it in a respectful way. Encourage her to talk privately to the coach about how she feels. As long as she communicates to the coach in a non-combative way and explains her feelings it can only help the situation.. or at least not make it any worse. Your daughter will gain more confidence in dealing with stressful situations so that when she encounters this again (and she most likely will) she'll will know how to handle it on her own.

 

[SheCheers]

I would have to disagree about the comments that state that the parent should get involved because the daughter is only 14. I have 2 daughters, 14 and 11 that do high school and All-Star cheer. I don't think that a child is ever too young to voice their feelings and opinions to an adult.. as long as they do it in a respectful way. Encourage her to talk privately to the coach about how she feels. As long as she communicates to the coach in a non-combative way and explains her feelings it can only help the situation.. or at least not make it any worse. Your daughter will gain more confidence in dealing with stressful situations so that when she encounters this again (and she most likely will) she'll will know how to handle it on her own.

i totally agree. I'm a big fan of advocating for oneself. My cp is 8 and has already successfully advocated for herself with two different teachers this week! I didn't have to go to the school, have a conference, etc. She was able to state the problem and offer up a solution on her own very respectfully and both teachers granted her request. the first one, i did have to "coach" her on what to say, but the 2nd one she did on her own without even consulting me.

 

[luscheermom]

Ok, here's what happened! But first of all, to the above poster, this is a different situation from an 8 year old speaking up to her teacher, (teachers are more approchable, especially to 8 year olds, then a strict cheer coach to a teenager!) I did pull the coach aside briefly without my daugher knowing this) and she had no idea she was having this affect on her, (and others). She spoke with the girls, had a heart to heart talk and cleared the air, and things are much better! I did not want my daugher to lose her enthusiam for cheer so I guess its the right time to discreetly step in.

 

[oldcheermom]

Sounds like you did the right thing by speaking to the coach the way you did. The conversation not only helped your daughter and the other girls, but the coach too. Good for you!

 

[The_cheer_obsessed]

That SAME thing happened to me. What I did was quit, and I think I did the right thing...but I'm in allstar. Don't be afraid to step in, it's YOUR daughter. I would talk to the coach.