Jealous Friends From Cheer?!?!

[CCA_Nicole]

2 of my bestfriends don't talk to me anymore. i have known one of them sense pre-k (im in 6th now) and the other for about 2 years. they are both best friends also and i always am the third wheel. they leave me out of EVERYTHING!! it's always been like that but now sense they found out i'm leaving my gym and going to Cheer Extreme, they don't even talk to me!! we used to talk on the phone and text and stuff but now they don't even talk to me!! they are very jealous that i get to do Cheer Extreme and they don't. (we live 45 minutes from the closest Cheer Extreme Gym). they never call or text me anymore and now that won't even reply back. at cheer practice they ignore me the whole time. our last practice one of them had to take me and the other one home and they were talking the whole time, then when we dropped that one girl off at her house he other one got out of the car and gave her a big hug and did a handshake thing they do, and then was like "i'm gonna miss you best friend!!" when we were driving to my house we were quiet the whole time until we got there, and then when i was getting out of the car all she said was "bye". that is it...i just am going to forget about them but it's really hard because i've know them both for so long!! any advice??

 

[allstarLoVEcheer]

Well if they were truly your friends they would support you about your decision to go to CEA and not treat you this way. Even though its hard just try not to let it bother you.

 

[lindspaige]

Well obviously they want to do Cheer Extreme, which is why they're jealous. Have you ever thought that maybe you were rubbing it in their faces (i.e. constantly talking about it in front of them and not at all considering their feelings? just a possibility). I'm not saying you're not a good friend, but maybe you've been so caught up in the excitement that you haven't been thinking about their feelings on it.

Is there a specific reason why they can't do it? Their parents won't drive them that far? If they're really good and they can't go just because their parents won't take them (which is completely unfair), maybe you should think about how they feel a little bit more.

Don't just forget about them though, I mean if you've been best friends for that long and now you're just saying "They're jealous of me, oh well I should just forget about them." that makes you sound like a really bad friend. Maybe you should talk to them about things other than cheer. Ask them to hang out and don't bring up cheer at all. Obviously they want to do this and they aren't being allowed to, so it would probably be best to not talk about that.

Also, with the whole thing where your friend hugged and did a handshake with the other girl and stuff, it seems like you're pretty jealous that they're giving her their attention instead of you.

I don't really know you're situation, but if I were in your place I would just text them and tell them that you're really sorry and that you don't want to loose their friendship. Also, again, ask them to hang out or something. Don't just give up on the friendship because of a small bump in the road.

Sorry it's long lol

 

[CCA_Nicole]

Well obviously they want to do Cheer Extreme, which is why they're jealous. Have you ever thought that maybe you were rubbing it in their faces (i.e. constantly talking about it in front of them and not at all considering their feelings? just a possibility). I'm not saying you're not a good friend, but maybe you've been so caught up in the excitement that you haven't been thinking about their feelings on it.

Is there a specific reason why they can't do it? Their parents won't drive them that far? If they're really good and they can't go just because their parents won't take them (which is completely unfair), maybe you should think about how they feel a little bit more.

Don't just forget about them though, I mean if you've been best friends for that long and now you're just saying "They're jealous of me, oh well I should just forget about them." that makes you sound like a really bad friend. Maybe you should talk to them about things other than cheer. Ask them to hang out and don't bring up cheer at all. Obviously they want to do this and they aren't being allowed to, so it would probably be best to not talk about that.

Also, with the whole thing where your friend hugged and did a handshake with the other girl and stuff, it seems like you're pretty jealous that they're giving her their attention instead of you.

I don't really know you're situation, but if I were in your place I would just text them and tell them that you're really sorry and that you don't want to loose their friendship. Also, again, ask them to hang out or something. Don't just give up on the friendship because of a small bump in the road.

Sorry it's long lol

their parents won't drive them that far and i haven't even mentioned it in front of them. another girl on my team is doing CEA next year also and she came up to me and was like "you're trying out for cheer extreme next year aren't you??" all i said was "yah, i'm trying out." and they heard it and ever sense they haven't been talking to me. i knew it would be rude to mention it in front of them because their parents won't let them go so i didn't they just overheard mine and someone else's conversation. the reason i say they are jealous is because i asked another one of my cheer friends to ask them why they are mad at me and she said that they were complaining to her that i get to do it and they don't. i'm not just assuming it, i made sure someone asked them because at first i didn't know what i did wrong.

 

[lindspaige]

their parents won't drive them that far and i haven't even mentioned it in front of them. another girl on my team is doing CEA next year also and she came up to me and was like "you're trying out for cheer extreme next year aren't you??" all i said was "yah, i'm trying out." and they heard it and ever sense they haven't been talking to me. i knew it would be rude to mention it in front of them because their parents won't let them go so i didn't they just overheard mine and someone else's conversation. the reason i say they are jealous is because i asked another one of my cheer friends to ask them why they are mad at me and she said that they were complaining to her that i get to do it and they don't. i'm not just assuming it, i made sure someone asked them because at first i didn't know what i did wrong.

Maybe you should bring it up in that case then, or perhaps offer that your mom will drive them? I think they'll be much happier if you offer to help them do it. After all, if it's something you all want to do, why not make it possible?

 

[CCA_Nicole]

Maybe you should bring it up in that case then, or perhaps offer that your mom will drive them? I think they'll be much happier if you offer to help them do it. After all, if it's something you all want to do, why not make it possible?

i have tried to ask my mom but she's not gonna be the one taking me, the other girl on my team that's doing CEA and i are gonna carpool. her mom is gonna be taking both of us. that's the only reason i get to do it because my mom has to work almost everyday. if they would want to do it they would have to ask her about it.

 

[lindspaige]

i have tried to ask my mom but she's not gonna be the one taking me, the other girl on my team that's doing CEA and i are gonna carpool. her mom is gonna be taking both of us. that's the only reason i get to do it because my mom has to work almost everyday. if they would want to do it they would have to ask her about it.

Hm, maybe you should ask the girl's mom about it, try to do anything you can to help them be able to do CEA

 

[CCA_Nicole]

Hm, maybe you should ask the girl's mom about it, try to do anything you can to help them be able to do CEA

i'm not sure because the girl that's gonna be taking me and the other two girls don't really work good together...they used to be friends but something happened between them and they don't talk anymore...

 

[lindspaige]

i'm not sure because the girl that's gonna be taking me and the other two girls don't really work good together...they used to be friends but something happened between them and they don't talk anymore...

Aw Well, you should at least try. Do you really want to loose their friendship?

 

[CCA_Nicole]

Aw Well, you should at least try. Do you really want to loose their friendship?

next time we have practice i'm going to TRY to get them to talk, hopefully they will!! i don't even know what happened between them!!

 

[lindspaige]

next time we have practice i'm going to TRY to get them to talk, hopefully they will!! i don't even know what happened between them!!

Well hope for the best! Maybe you can get those girls to be friends again, too. One big, happy cheer family

 

[cheermommaRN]

Sounds like your friends are upset that you are friends with this other girl who they have past issues with. Teenagers hate saying goodbye so they figure its easier to make the other party hate them or end the friendship so it won't hurt as much when they are gone.
Sometimes people grow apart...trust me the friends you have now...you probably won't talk to any of them by the time you graduate college.

 

[fullpass]

i'm not sure because the girl that's gonna be taking me and the other two girls don't really work good together...they used to be friends but something happened between them and they don't talk anymore...

I'm sorry and I hope this all works out but unfortunately, based upon your description of what seems to have happened before, these girls seem to have a habit of 'dropping' people... maybe you're better off without friends like that?

 

[CheerAunt]

I lived this many a time in middle school and high school, and as much as the hurt burns you up, at some point you have to play it like they play it. It's mean, but sometimes when girls do this stuff, they're getting a kick out of how hurt you look, or the things you do to try and make nice. If they want to ignore you in a hallway, don't even look in their direction. Keep yourself on the high road, go about your business. Chances are high that if you take some time, someday soon they'll get over whatever their mad about, and one day out of nowhere you'll get a text or a call and they'll want to be friends again.

Hope that helps!