Looking For A Variety Of Opinions

[CheerBank]

I want to say this- I don't think the coaches knew WHAT to do with the attitude on that team. The vocal minority ruined it for everyone (my daughter was NOT their only focus). I know the owners were frustrated with the parents of those kids as well and it was bad all the way around. Part of the problem is that my daughter is quiet. She thinks she should not complain because it is the coaches' job to handle it and complaining is questioning the job they are doing. It has been very hard to get through to her that it is not disrespectful to make your coach aware. I suggested she could ask for help communicating with her stunt group, or tips to work well together as ways to allow her to make the coaches aware but in a way that works with her personality. She opted not to do so. I think her silence on the matter made her coaches decide it was not a big deal. It was a really tough year for sure!

If my daughter were younger, this would be a no brainer. I would pull her no questions asked. She is not a little girl anymore and I feel like her opinion has to have some weight. THAT'S what is causing my hesitation. If she WANTS to be there, if she feels that despite the negativity and the stress that is where she wants to be, do I have the right to say no? It's her sport after all... but I am the adult.... so round and round I go.

She will do a private tryout Tuesday night at another gym. We have friends there so she will see them that night. Hopefully it will be a positive experience and remind her that is missing where she is now.

For what it is worth, when our old gym went out of business the kids ended up at about 4 or 5 gyms in the greater area. We have been lucky to be able to maintain friendships with most of our old friends and have gone to their various gyms throughout the 2 seasons (and they have come to ours). It has given her a chance to experience the other gyms and their coaches and she has never felt awkward about walking into any of those places whether we know are friends are there or not for the event. I think that should make a transition easier if we do change.

Does she pay or do you? If the answer is you, then you do have the right to say no. If you feel the environment is emotional damaging, you as a parent can make that choice for her.
It's also very different when a gym closes and you go to different gyms as opposed to when you leave a gym and go to another one. Just keep that in mind.

 

[Mndl]

My CP is having similar issues regarding leaving friends for a potential gym switch; in truth it is really the only thing that is keeping her from wanting to do it, so I totally understand how you feel like the bad mom for wanting to take her away from friends. However sometimes you just have to pull the plug, and take the decision out of her hands. You know it's not a good place for her, it certainly seems like she knows it too but is afraid to change, so your going to have to be the one who says you are no longer cheering there.

 

[retiredl5cheer]

Take into account that your daughter may want to stay only for the simple reason that leaving throws her into the unknown. Change is uncomfortable, but sometimes it's the best thing. However, most of us are very resistant to change.

 

[JustAMom]

We are currently at the other gym for tryouts... a large number of others from our gym are here as well.

 

[CheerBank]

We are currently at the other gym for tryouts... a large number of others from our gym are here as well.

Good luck and keep us updated!

 

[JustAMom]

So, as we left the new gym she told me she wants to take the year off. She said the new gym was just too far to drive unless she was on a worlds team (not that she expected to be, she was just expressing when she felt that sort of sacrifice was appropriate). She said she had found the level boring this past year and could not think about doing it for another season at her current, closer gym. She wants to tumble. She wants to go to classes, and clinics and privates and all types of gyms. She said she really WANTS to continue to cheer, but that she has no options. I am giving her until a few hours before the next practice at either gym and if she still feels the same I will thank both facilities for the opportunity and call it a day. It is truly sad to me that something she has loved so very much would end this way.
I will add one last thing. She saw one of her old coaches from the gym that closed. They had a long talk about what was happening and how she was feeling. I asked my daughter if the coaches at her current gym had ever said that many sentences to her. She answered, "probably not all added together in the 2 years I have been there". I think that was a huge eye opener and big part of the reason behind the decision tonight.

 

[retiredl5cheer]

So, as we left the new gym she told me she wants to take the year off. She said the new gym was just too far to drive unless she was on a worlds team (not that she expected to be, she was just expressing when she felt that sort of sacrifice was appropriate). She said she had found the level boring this past year and could not think about doing it for another season at her current, closer gym. She wants to tumble. She wants to go to classes, and clinics and privates and all types of gyms. She said she really WANTS to continue to cheer, but that she has no options. I am giving her until a few hours before the next practice at either gym and if she still feels the same I will thank both facilities for the opportunity and call it a day. It is truly sad to me that something she has loved so very much would end this way.
I will add one last thing. She saw one of her old coaches from the gym that closed. They had a long talk about what was happening and how she was feeling. I asked my daughter if the coaches at her current gym had ever said that many sentences to her. She answered, "probably not all added together in the 2 years I have been there". I think that was a huge eye opener and big part of the reason behind the decision tonight.

That breaks my heart. Coaches are investing in people, not just athletes, but many of them either don't realize or don't care.

 

[JustAMom]

Sorry to dredge this up. Perhaps I should start a new thread, but I will just post here. We are two weeks out and she is so, so sad. There is a huge hole in her life. She's always been very active outside of cheer. She has lots of friends she does things with, clubs, activities, school sports, but she clearly is missing cheer. She has been doing the tumble circuit of clinics, classes and opens. She really misses the team dynamic. I really don't know what to do for her or how to help her through this. Suggestions?

 

[retiredl5cheer]

Sorry to dredge this up. Perhaps I should start a new thread, but I will just post here. We are two weeks out and she is so, so sad. There is a huge hole in her life. She's always been very active outside of cheer. She has lots of friends she does things with, clubs, activities, school sports, but she clearly is missing cheer. She has been doing the tumble circuit of clinics, classes and opens. She really misses the team dynamic. I really don't know what to do for her or how to help her through this. Suggestions?

Can you just get her back on a team?

 

[Adrirocks]

Sorry to dredge this up. Perhaps I should start a new thread, but I will just post here. We are two weeks out and she is so, so sad. There is a huge hole in her life. She's always been very active outside of cheer. She has lots of friends she does things with, clubs, activities, school sports, but she clearly is missing cheer. She has been doing the tumble circuit of clinics, classes and opens. She really misses the team dynamic. I really don't know what to do for her or how to help her through this. Suggestions?

Is it too late to call the other gym? They might have a spot or a half year prep team if their regular ones are full. I read that she didn't think the drive was worth it but do you think she would have a different mindset now that she knows what it feels like to not be cheering at all? How old is she? If she's middle school/high school age is there a school team she could try for the year while still training all star tumbling.

 

[JustAMom]

She has always cheered school- but it is tough- no tumbling, minimal stunting...it's all about the team playing. It is NOT the same. She is dead set against the drive- it is unfortunate as I believe the other gym is genuine in their interest in their athletes. Half year teams in our area will start in December, but the half year teams are scant and usually a lvl 1 and if lucky a lvl 2. I tried to contact the current gym to see if there was something they could do to help her feel valued and get her back out there. 2 emails over the course of a week with no response, so obviously it is not going to happen there.

I wish we had more gyms in our area.