OT Middle School And Drinking

[SmileCat]

The first experience I had with alcohol, I was at my friends house in 8th grade. There were about 8 of us and her mom allowed us to have some drinks (smirnoff ice, lol). I declined since I had "practice in the morning". I never told my parents about that night because she already didn't like that friend. Moms know best because 6 years later, I ran into that same friend and stayed with her for a night and she stole my car, hit someone and I had to sue her to get the money
Also, the mom is just a hot mess.

 

[SL&AM]

My children are far younger but they've both had encounters with alcohol. My eldest tried it, said she didn't like it and has no desire to try it again. Youngest can't get past the smell. I grew up in a household of alcoholics yet alcohol was a taboo subject so I've gone to the other extreme. I don't condone kids getting drunk, especially at the hands of their parents, but it'll likely come up in the older teenager-range and I can see myself being a bit more lax. My goal is to ensure that by the time they go to college, the idea of getting drunk and binge drinking isn't desirable because alcohol hasn't been turned into the 'hidden fruit' they couldn't touch. Ask me how that goes in about 11 ish years or so.

 

[Lisa Seye]

Thanks everyone. All things to think about. I appreciate your input

 

[nicolee]

My family background is from a country where the drinking age is 18, and where underage drinking is common and quite normalized. I grew up drinking wine with dinner, and my parents supplied me with a few drinks for parties by the age of about 15.

The theory is, if you show kids that alcohol can be a normal part of social gatherings, and 'teach' them how to drink properly, then they are less likely to drink to excess. If you act like alcohol is evil until they're 21, then they'll rebel. And if you don't teach them about alcohol before they're exposed to it, then their ignorance may be dangerous – they won't know how big a standard drink is, how many drinks are safe for them, or what to do if they or a friend accidentally drink too much.

However, my parents would have cracked the sh!ts if another adult gave me alcohol. And I definitely think that 12/13 is a bit young to be having a party with alcohol.

 

[Cheerfun2]

The situation you described is incomprehensible to me. I understand that families have different values when it comes to drinking, but to offer something that is illegal to other people's children is truly the height of stupidity. In our area, adults have been arrested and incarcerated for this....a teen DIED from alcohol poisoning, alcohol that was provided by someone else's parent. Even if there is no physical tragedy, with social media, a child's future could be ruined by turning up drunk on the internet. High school students have lost scholarships by being arrested for underage drinking. My husband and I drink socially, but we tell our children that alcohol is illegal under 21, and we cannot condone that. We understand it could happen, and have told them we would provide safe rides home if it does...but until it is legal we cannot say, "here...eff the law, have a beer!" We are trying to raise law-abiding citizens!

 

[Tosh]

Drinking and getting drunk obviously are two different things. I am not American and where I come from there is no drinking age limit. I allowed all my girls to have a glass of wine with dinner since they turned teenagers. I WILL NEVER GIVE A DRINK TO SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD. I allowed hard alcohol at the age of 18. I have many friends that did not agree with this. When the girls left for college, I made sure that they knew what type of liquor the can/not tolerate and what their limits were. I schooled them about drinking in college and encouraged them to always take a can of ice tea in their purse when going to a party because they will only have alcohol.....
I must say that I do not agree with the drinking age limit for several different reasons; the most important is that it does not help with adults, much more teenagers from getting drunk because they are not educated on the consumption of alcohol.
I recently went home to South America for a country celebration with my husband how is American. The one thing that surprised him was that you have over 30,000 people at an open field concert (more than have the audience was teenagers) and everyone was drinking and having a great time. Not at any time while there and partying every night until 6/7 in the morning was there any fighting or arguing, etc. He was amazed to that there wasn't even one drunk person around. I never really thought about it, but it seem that kids that grow up being able to drink with friends and family at an early age, know how to drink responsibly. Come to think of it, I don't know anyone I grew up with (and I have an extensive/large family) including all the adults that was ever drunk....and we drink a lot. but just enough to have a good fun time.
Maybe the key is to start our kids drinking earlier with family where they are monitored and learn how to drink responsibly. JMO

 

[CloMom]

I can't even wrap my mind around middle schoolers drinking. Their maturity level without alcohol is scary. I can't imagine a tipsy 13 year old. Just. Why?
However, I was one of those people who drank every weekend in high school from probably my sophomore year on. And my parents did allow me to drink at home. They also allowed my friends to drink there and they were always welcome to crash at our house after drinking. No one was allowed to drive if he/she had been drinking. We had very open communication and I always knew that if I was drinking away from home, I could call them and they would gladly come get me.
In my experience, though, it wasn't casual drinking. We weren't 16 and saying "let's unwind with a beer tonight". We were getting wasted and not stopping until we were drunk.
When I look back at that time, now a parent of a teenager, I can't believe my parents allowed it. I enjoy an occasional drink now but the mindset of 30-something me is completely different from the mindset of teenaged me.
I can't fathom letting my daughter drink alcohol. I certainly will never give someone else's child alcohol. No way. In my opinion, it's not necessary. I know what my goal was as a drinking, partying teenager. I don't want my daughter having those same goals.
I'm sure she will grow up and enjoy drinking. I hope she does. But I think it is possible to model responsibility and expect that they won't go off the deep end at 21 because it wasn't allowed before 21. I drink in front of my teen. I don't get drunk around her. Or, ever, really. I'm too old to handle that anymore. Ha
For us, the law is 21. We'll obey the law.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Michael White]

I drank in high school (the end of senior year) and college, always in social gatherings, never alone or just for the sake of drinking. Personally I think if I'd started a bit earlier it would have been less of a desire. I don't drink at all now.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

Fun police/school counselor alert:

It's all fun and games to do the "be a cool mom and give my kids/their friends booze at home because like, they're going to do it anyway" thing until one of them has an interaction with a med/accident in the pool/etc. and you're in the ER having to explain to mom/dad why Suzie has 12 stitches/had her throat close up.

My district recently had a parent be sued over a deck/balcony accident (drunk kids horsing around caused a kid to go over the railing and be seriously hurt.) Parents were home, this wasn't a huge party, just 8-10 juniors and a mom who bought booze for her son's friends who were sleeping over after junior prom.

Nope.

 

[catlady]

Our neighbor has a son who is currently a heroin addict and has been going in and out of rehab and jail for the past 10 years. Food for thought, the frontal lobe is the last part of the brain to develop and it does not completely connect, fire and engage until the mid 20's, it is in charge of memory and consequence. The young brain is chemically designed to learn quickly, and unfortunately, the reason addiction is so prevalent in teenagers. Europe has the highest teenage alcoholic rates.

According to her sons doctors and rehabs, it only takes a few ounces of alcohol, a single pain pill, or a couple hits of weed in a teenager to "teach" the brain connection of sensation. Kids brains are designed to connect pleasant and unpleasant sensations quickly. It is the frontal lobe dysfunction, caused by alcohol and drugs in young kids, that cause those that have been rehabbed and clean for months to go back to their former addiction over and over. She often posts teenage drug and alcohol information on her Facebook, this is one that she posts often:

Myths Debunked: Underage Drinking of Alcohol at Home Leads to Real Consequences for Both Parents and Teens - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

 

[nicolee]

Our neighbor has a son who is currently a heroin addict and has been going in and out of rehab and jail for the past 10 years. Food for thought, the frontal lobe is the last part of the brain to develop and it does not completely connect, fire and engage until the mid 20's, it is in charge of memory and consequence. The young brain is chemically designed to learn quickly, and unfortunately, the reason addiction is so prevalent in teenagers. Europe has the highest teenage alcoholic rates.

According to her sons doctors and rehabs, it only takes a few ounces of alcohol, a single pain pill, or a couple hits of weed in a teenager to "teach" the brain connection of sensation. Kids brains are designed to connect pleasant and unpleasant sensations quickly. It is the frontal lobe dysfunction, caused by alcohol and drugs in young kids, that cause those that have been rehabbed and clean for months to go back to their former addiction over and over. She often posts teenage drug and alcohol information on her Facebook, this is one that she posts often:

Myths Debunked: Underage Drinking of Alcohol at Home Leads to Real Consequences for Both Parents and Teens - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

All due respect, a lot of the information on this link comes from a study that wasn't a methodologically sound trial, but rather a series of questionnaires that was sponsored by an anti-drug charity. Full of conflicts of interest and such.

While I agree that alcohol when young could potentially lead to frontal lobe problems (although most of the proper medical research we have focuses on heavy drinking in teens, not light occasional drinking), I completely disagree that perceived 'permissive' behavior in parents leads to their kids drinking more, as was said in the link you posted. There are multiple medical studies that show that parental permissiveness only leads to abnormal drinking in teens if there are other factors, such as social problems or a family history of alcoholism. And it's all about modeling proper behavior: if the parent acts laissez-faire and talks about how great it is to be drunk, then obviously there are going to be problems. Other studies have also focused on how the Mediterranean and Nordic cultures, which introduce alcohol quite early, have lower rates of alcohol abuse.

 

[catlady]

@nicolee my post was only food for thought based on two facts:
1) The frontal lobe is not fully developed until the mid 20's
2) The young brain is designed to learn quickly, which is why addiction is prevalent in teenagers.

If you do not feel the above post is reliable on Europe, there are plenty to be found out there on Google concerning countries with highest consumption rate (Mediterranean and Nordic countries included). The alcoholism rate corresponds with the consumption rate. Ultimately, parents are going to parent how they see fit but, I do think the two facts above are worth taking into consideration before providing kids with alcohol.

Where people drink the most around the world - Business Insider
Top 10 European Countries That Drink the Most | US News
Prevalence of Underage Drinking

 

[nicolee]

@nicolee my post was only food for thought based on two facts:
1) The frontal lobe is not fully developed until the mid 20's
2) The young brain is designed to learn quickly, which is why addiction is prevalent in teenagers.

If you do not feel the above post is reliable on Europe, there are plenty to be found out there on Google concerning countries with highest consumption rate (Mediterranean and Nordic countries included). The alcoholism rate corresponds with the consumption rate. Ultimately, parents are going to parent how they see fit but, I do think the two facts above are worth taking into consideration before providing kids with alcohol.

Where people drink the most around the world - Business Insider
Top 10 European Countries That Drink the Most | US News
Prevalence of Underage Drinking

I am aware of the process of frontal lobe maturation.
But, with respect, your link included information coming from an unreliable study, which I disagreed with.

 

[~El]

it's all about the culture of where you're from.

i'd often go to parties at age 13/14 where there would be alcohol. not spirits or anything that's actually going to get you drunk. but more alcopop type stuff that's about 4% and tastes like lemonade. I'm 19 now (past the legal drinking age here in the uk) and don't regret drinking young at all. my parents knew and so did everyone elses and everyone was chill with it as long as their kid wasnt all over the floor, throwing up or needing their stomach pumped. The first time i actually got drunk was a family wedding age 13. There was an open bar and my family had no issues with them serving me, they thought it was funny and just gave me a ton of water before bed. As far as i'm aware, getting drunk occasionally as a teen isn't bad to most brits at all.
Now, at 19, i'd like to think i know what i'm doing with alcohol. Yeah, i've taken it too far at times, but for the most part i know what i can take and can't take, what i like and don't like, what will work best at formal events.

 

[Helen uk uni cheer]

I'm from the UK and didn't really drink alcohol at all until 18 a apart from twice when people at a party thought it was funny for me to get me drunk and I spewed. Did I go crazy when I went away for uni? Yep. My parents were fine with me trying beer and were open about alcohol but I just didn't like the taste. I really disagree with 13 and 14 year old drinking at parties but 16 I think is a reasonable age to have alcohol with dinner