My Daughter Wants To Fly. Suggestions?

[Just-a-Mom]

Not true. Plus quite a few who did mention it said that their child fly a one time and but now does something else. I think it was mainly to prove the point that things change.

Mmmmmm.... As the mom of a non flyer who's been on the boards for years, I'm gonna stick with yes, people on here love to tell other people that their kid is a flyer.

There are a few in here that pointing out their CP was a flyer offered nothing to the post, other than to say it. I'm not going to point them out specifically.


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[dawgshow]

Mmmmmm.... As the mom of a non flyer who's been on the boards for years, I'm gonna stick with yes, people on here love to tell other people that their kid is a flyer.

There are a few in here that pointing out their CP was a flyer offered nothing to the post, other than to say it. I'm not going to point them out specifically.


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Stick with yes. That's fine. I'm just saying that you're wrong. I know for a fact that people have given great advice here whose daughters fly and it was never mentioned. Does some of that "nya nya. My daughters up and yours isn't" exist here? Absolutely. In this thread, though, it sure wasn't close to everybody.


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[Just-a-Mom]

Stick with yes. That's fine. I'm just saying that you're wrong. I know for a fact that people have given great advice here whose daughters fly and it was never mentioned. Does some of that "nya nya. My daughters up and yours isn't" exist here? Absolutely. In this thread, though, it sure wasn't close to everybody.


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Ok. Not everybody meant it that way.

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[BlockHead]

:D

Mmmmmm.... As the mom of a non flyer who's been on the boards for years, I'm gonna stick with yes, people on here love to tell other people that their kid is a flyer.

There are a few in here that pointing out their CP was a flyer offered nothing to the post, other than to say it. I'm not going to point them out specifically.


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I certainly did not mean it that way. I even mentioned that my daughter is a flyer by default. She is short 9 year old on a team (Jr 2) that mainly consists of 12-14 year olds. She is on a Jr 2 squad, and she honestly should be on a youth 1 squad. But our new gym only has 2 squads (Jr 2 and Sr 3).

I also mentioned that she truly isn't very good at it. I definitely was not bragging. Who brags that their daughter isn't a very good flyer? I was just trying to help the OP out by sharing our story with her. I do not know why non-flyer parents did not respond to this, but I have no control over that. I do feel that they could also help put their perspective to this situation, but it looks as though they have chosen not to. Hopefully, some of them will share their opinions/stories as well. :D

 

[12stepCheermom]

:D

I certainly did not mean it that way. I even mentioned that my daughter is a flyer by default. She is short 9 year old on a team (Jr 2) that mainly consists of 12-14 year olds. She is on a Jr 2 squad, and she honestly should be on a youth 1 squad. But our new gym only has 2 squads (Jr 2 and Sr 3).

I also mentioned that she truly isn't very good at it. I definitely was not bragging. Who brags that their daughter isn't a very good flyer? I was just trying to help the OP out by sharing our story with her. I do not know why non-flyer parents did not respond to this, but I have no control over that. I do feel that they could also help put their perspective to this situation, but it looks as though they have chosen not to. Hopefully, some of them will share their opinions/stories as well. :D

This non flyer parent didn't feel I had much to offer. Unfortunately, I feel like my opinion as a base/backspot mom carries very little significance in a thread about flyers. At least that's been my experience.

 

[CheerBank]

:D

I certainly did not mean it that way. I even mentioned that my daughter is a flyer by default. She is short 9 year old on a team (Jr 2) that mainly consists of 12-14 year olds. She is on a Jr 2 squad, and she honestly should be on a youth 1 squad. But our new gym only has 2 squads (Jr 2 and Sr 3).

I also mentioned that she truly isn't very good at it. I definitely was not bragging. Who brags that their daughter isn't a very good flyer? I was just trying to help the OP out by sharing our story with her. I do not know why non-flyer parents did not respond to this, but I have no control over that. I do feel that they could also help put their perspective to this situation, but it looks as though they have chosen not to. Hopefully, some of them will share their opinions/stories as well. :D

Non-flyer mom here. And I have a cp and a former cp who truly never wished they could fly. There really is no perspective to add except that I am very happy to have never been in the position of having an athlete who wanted to do something other than what they were doing only to be told that they were not the right body type for it so they couldn't even be given the chance to prove the coaches wrong.

 

[Cheermom31]

I have appreciated everyone's input whether they have a child that flys or is a base. I'm sorry if this thread has caused any hard feelings or controversy between anyone :( I agree that every position is important but like it was said of course your going to root for your daughter. Again I don't care what she does as long as she is happy. I am one of those people that have always operated that if I work hard enough to reach my goals I will achieve them. I know this situation is a little more complicated than that so at times it can be hard to know the right way to approach it with my daughter. As far as open gym we went last night and it was a mess. My daughter was trying to get some girls on her team that she considers friends to base her (they have done it in the past) but there were some older girls there and they started being catty. They lifted her for a second then purposely dropped her and said "we don't want to lift you anymore, your not even a flyer for this team." Daughter held it in pretty good and came out stone faced and asked if I could go to the restroom with her. She held it in till I shut the door then she started crying saying she thought they were her friends and making comments that she is too big. So basically that is what I am dealing with and being she is my only child I am still learning how to handle these situations. I asked her if she wanted to go home and she wiped her face and said no and just went out and started practicing on her tucks by herself. It just broke my heart.

 

[Dixie]

Just my 2 cents (or 4 cents really) :

I find it interesting that the majority of the advice in this thread has been "the whole team matters most" and "tell her being a base is just as important", yet every single person whose child is a flyer made sure to get that info into their post. No wonder people new to the sport think being a flyer is the end all be all of cheer - from day one, everyone they meet is "Oh all the positions are equally as important. My CP is a flyer of course, but yours doesn't need to be!"

For what it's worth, OP: my CP was not a flyer. She was a back spot, and it took her quite far. One thing you and CP can remember: For every flyer on the team, they need 3 people under her. Quick math means on a small team they need 5 flyers and 15 bases. Therefore it's a whole lot easier for a base to move up to higher levels than a flyer, simply because there are more openings on the team. My CP made it all the way to a level 5 team based on stunting.

Not as lofty and angelic a way of looking at it, but probably more motivating than "you should just be proud you get to be there to hold my baby up while she shines." :D

Yes, the whole team matters, but it's ok to care about your child more. We all do - just no one admits it.

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If there was a 'stand up - slow clap' emoji, now would be the time to use it. This is it exactly. I'm so beyond tired of gyms telling me how to feel about my child's feelings. No, We don't feel honored just to walk into your place of business. Same way I don't feel honored shopping at Target. I pay you. My kid works her booty off. We expect everyone to be treated fairly. All positions are important? There's a reason all new families know what a flyer is and that it is the 'goal'. Let's just look,at the ratio of cheerlebs and position on the team. I'm putting money on the fact that is skewed toward the flyer. I liked watching my child fly. I LOVED watching her main base. It is our preference. But stop preaching that they are the same.

 

[chesse_wIZz]

I currently have a 10 year old in her first year doing all star cheer. She has a dream of wanting to fly and is pretty flexible. We have been taking flyer classes and she seems to be doing alright. She has no fear of being in the air and is holding decently considering she has only went to 4 or 5 classes. My question is her size. She wanted to fly for her team this year and basically was told she is too big and is "built like a base"....My daughter is by no means fat but she is very muscular because of her constant tumbling and being so active. Most of the girls they have flying are very skinny but have problems staying in the air ex. constant falling and lack of flexibility. She is currently 4"6 and weights 73 lbs. So does this seem like a deal breaker? Even if she is perfectly tight in the air and flexible would her size prevent her from being chosen? She is under the impression if she keeps working at it and gets it perfect they will let her fly :( I just don't want her to be crushed. She is already asking me if she is too fat. I hate that she feels this way especially since she is no where near fat, shes perfect. Either way I don't think she will fly for her current gym due to their belief size is most important. Any thoughts?

I currently have a 10 year old in her first year doing all star cheer. She has a dream of wanting to fly and is pretty flexible. We have been taking flyer classes and she seems to be doing alright. She has no fear of being in the air and is holding decently considering she has only went to 4 or 5 classes. My question is her size. She wanted to fly for her team this year and basically was told she is too big and is "built like a base"....My daughter is by no means fat but she is very muscular because of her constant tumbling and being so active. Most of the girls they have flying are very skinny but have problems staying in the air ex. constant falling and lack of flexibility. She is currently 4"6 and weights 73 lbs. So does this seem like a deal breaker? Even if she is perfectly tight in the air and flexible would her size prevent her from being chosen? She is under the impression if she keeps working at it and gets it perfect they will let her fly :( I just don't want her to be crushed. She is already asking me if she is too fat. I hate that she feels this way especially since she is no where near fat, shes perfect. Either way I don't think she will fly for her current gym due to their belief size is most important. Any thoughts?

Let her know that whatever spot she is assigned to do, that she should just do it. Don't let this thought of being a potential flyer hold her back from doing other positions. In the cheer world, you have to be flexible with whatever spot you are told to do. The coach knows best.

 

[Cheer Dad]

Okay, non flyer cp perspective. Though CP wanted to be a flyer when younger (crazy flexibility and strong positions) and constantly worked those skills it was not gonna happen based on size. but cp is a killer backspot who takes pride in keeping a flyer off the floor and has the battle scars to prove it. CP also brings some dance, jump, and tumble skills to the team.

Anyway, so it has been established CP is not a flyer here is my take on it.

It is entirely possible your CP will never fly, whether it be based on size, skill, gym needs, or just plain old coach favoritism but that does not mean she is even remotely less valuable to any team. Yeah it may look like some flyers get all the glory but read these boards a bit and see how some people talk of the beast bases, fierce dancers or sick jumpers. Everyone is valued and appreciated. With that said I will not say she will never fly and I would have her continue to do some flyer exercises since as teams change, kids move around it may happen. Right now cp may be big for her team (not a clue so don't shoot me for saying it) right now but what happens if she gets moved up to a senior team where all of a sudden she is one of the smallest and they need an extra for the pyramid? It is entirely possible.

Personally I am glad cp is not a flyer (would look silly in the air right now anyway) because of the injury potential and the constant scrutiny they are under but am damn proud CP keeps others safe.

Hope a little bit of this makes sense.

ETA: regardless if cp continues to work some flyer skills please don't focus on just that since it could lead to less opportunity for advancement.
Cheer Dad = broke dad

 

[cheerforeverever]

I have appreciated everyone's input whether they have a child that flys or is a base. I'm sorry if this thread has caused any hard feelings or controversy between anyone :( I agree that every position is important but like it was said of course your going to root for your daughter. Again I don't care what she does as long as she is happy. I am one of those people that have always operated that if I work hard enough to reach my goals I will achieve them. I know this situation is a little more complicated than that so at times it can be hard to know the right way to approach it with my daughter. As far as open gym we went last night and it was a mess. My daughter was trying to get some girls on her team that she considers friends to base her (they have done it in the past) but there were some older girls there and they started being catty. They lifted her for a second then purposely dropped her and said "we don't want to lift you anymore, your not even a flyer for this team." Daughter held it in pretty good and came out stone faced and asked if I could go to the restroom with her. She held it in till I shut the door then she started crying saying she thought they were her friends and making comments that she is too big. So basically that is what I am dealing with and being she is my only child I am still learning how to handle these situations. I asked her if she wanted to go home and she wiped her face and said no and just went out and started practicing on her tucks by herself. It just broke my heart.

Sounds like your daughter is getting to the wonderful 12-16 year old "friends" age......its not a fun time for most girls. :( That whole middle school/early HS range makes for cattiness and it is tough, as it is prevalent anywhere. Who surrounds you can make all the difference between loving what you are doing or having a miserable time (both athletes, coaches & parents), so if you don't see a positive environment or supportive network in place (or the likelihood of getting there), then I would suggest you finish out this season with the current team, but do your research about other options in the area & go from there:
1.research online
2.take notice of how potential gyms' kids/parents/coaches act at competitions (especially work ethic & professionalism as it sounds like your daughter needs a gym/team that will be just as focused and committed as she is)
3.know consistent competition placements of all teams from potential gyms (are they a strong program from lv 1-5? Some are stronger in lv 1-3 or 4-5 but not all, so you need to match up what would fit your family best)
4.In spring, have your daughter try out some tumbling or stunting classes at potential gyms to get a feel for the environment (I would not give wind of this until the very end of the season to other parents & athletes to avoid unnecessary potential drama.......if nothing else though, your daughter will get experience working with different coaches that can give new ways of teaching/thinking about skills. Some may click, some may not for the way your daughter learns skills, but hey it is experience none the less)
5.If you & your daughter both feel that somewhere else could be a better fit, don't hesitate to try it next season. The grass isn't always greener, but sometimes it legitimately is.

Overall, there will be catty girls and some negative people everywhere in life, but they shouldn't be the majority surrounding you or your daughter! If it is getting to that point, then it may be time to think about a change, as there are good support systems out there albeit they are sometimes hard to find. ;)

 

[THEJOEL]

I have appreciated everyone's input whether they have a child that flys or is a base. I'm sorry if this thread has caused any hard feelings or controversy between anyone I agree that every position is important but like it was said of course your going to root for your daughter. Again I don't care what she does as long as she is happy. I am one of those people that have always operated that if I work hard enough to reach my goals I will achieve them. I know this situation is a little more complicated than that so at times it can be hard to know the right way to approach it with my daughter. As far as open gym we went last night and it was a mess. My daughter was trying to get some girls on her team that she considers friends to base her (they have done it in the past) but there were some older girls there and they started being catty. They lifted her for a second then purposely dropped her and said "we don't want to lift you anymore, your not even a flyer for this team." Daughter held it in pretty good and came out stone faced and asked if I could go to the restroom with her. She held it in till I shut the door then she started crying saying she thought they were her friends and making comments that she is too big. So basically that is what I am dealing with and being she is my only child I am still learning how to handle these situations. I asked her if she wanted to go home and she wiped her face and said no and just went out and started practicing on her tucks by herself. It just broke my heart.

It hasn't caused any hard feelings it's just there are a lot of people on this board that will attack anyone and everyone for any petty reason they can think of. Frankly, I only mentioned my CP was a flyer was simply for the reason of full disclosure. There are times when I wish she was a base but that is a topic for a later discussion. The value of a solid stunt GROUP is undefinable and I saw it first hand from last season to this one. Every practice and competition I thank God for my CP's bases for not only doing well but protecting my CP and I tell them all the time how much I appreciate them. After practice last night during open gym my CP and her base in the one mans(Who are 6 years apart in age.) hung together and worked for an hour. Not as teammates but friends it was awesome.
@Cheer Dad hit the nail on the head...Slow clap to you sir.
I will also say this and I have said this to the moms in our gym all of the time...I AM GLAD I WAS BORN A MAN!! Little girls are MEAN. Little boys will fight and then be best buds afterwards. Little girls will tear you down emotionally instead of physically and that IMHO is 10x worse.
Good luck to your CP this season, keep up the hard work and whatever she does DON"T STOP TRYING!
It sounds like she has a great supporter in you and she will never fail because she has you in her life.

 

[Twinklestars]

Little girls are MEAN. Little boys will fight and then be best buds afterwards. Little girls will tear you down emotionally instead of physically and that IMHO is 10x worse.

Absolutely! We just switched schools because the emotional abuse/social bullying had gotten so bad for my younger cp. It all started when she got co-captain for our school's cheer team instead of the captain's best friend. It was relentless and we got no support from our school.

CP can't wait to try out for her new high school team next year. She will be a freshman. She has always been a backspot, but dreams of flying too.

 

[DaniV]

I'm glad someone beat me to the punch but based on what I've heard on how your coach is responding to you and your daughter... it might be time to start thinking about relocating at the end of the season. If you aren't comfortable talking to the coach, then is that really a place you want to be writing your checks to?

This is a perfect time for you to have realized this because you can pay close attention to your local gyms at competitions. Don't just pay attention to who podiums and goes home with banners (but if that is important to you, it's something to look at). Look at what teams them have now and if there are level and age appropriate teams for your CP potentially cheer on. Look at the higher levels and do they offer what your end goal is? Not every gym has a level 4 or 5 team or higher level junior teams. Everything that @cheerforeverever listed are important things to pay attention too.

I'm sorry this is something you have to deal with in your early years in cheer. Hopefully things work themselves out and you can find a happy home either this season or next season. Best of luck!

 

[mstealtoyou]

Long story short My Little Bit has been every position in the stunt group. (Including the nugget behind the stunt..LOL) What she was doing on her teams were based on the size and skill's of the team as a whole. Years she could fly, some years she was a secondary...other's she was a main and now she's a backspot. I told her back then (she was about your child's age or a little younger cheermom31) that everything she mastered was alike a quarter in her pocket. Flexibility, mental toughness, dancing, jumps, flyer, secondary, main and backspot. Every little tumbling skill she got was a quarter in her pocket. Every time she learned a life or cheer lesson was a quarter in her pocket. Fast forward to last season when her team needed a backspot with a double and there she was with those quarter's in her pocket making the team she had been dreaming about her whole life. I know it sounds hokey...but she was young enough that she could visualize that "quarter" going into her pocket........I hope that helped someone...if not, carry on. LOL