My Parents Won't Support My Cheering

[Luana315]

I've been doing Allstar Cheer for 8 years now and it has become my life. I suffer from a mental disorder and cheer really helps getting along with it. I realized tis when I had to take a break for one season cause of knee injury. During this year I ended up becoming more and more depressive. When I started again that next season, I started feeling a lot better again. It really helps so much and I must say that Cheerleading sort of saved my life. But my dad doesn't understand this and now he wants to make me quit cheer. He says it's to expensive, because I have to travel quite far to go to practice at all. There is no other option anywhere near me and I don't really have time for a job with school AND cheer. Please help, how can I make my father understand, I really don't want to quit cheer...he says it's just some stupid hobby and I need to grow up and stop just wanting to have fun.

 

[Official OWECheer]

I've been doing Allstar Cheer for 8 years now and it has become my life. I suffer from a mental disorder and cheer really helps getting along with it. I realized tis when I had to take a break for one season cause of knee injury. During this year I ended up becoming more and more depressive. When I started again that next season, I started feeling a lot better again. It really helps so much and I must say that Cheerleading sort of saved my life. But my dad doesn't understand this and now he wants to make me quit cheer. He says it's to expensive, because I have to travel quite far to go to practice at all. There is no other option anywhere near me and I don't really have time for a job with school AND cheer. Please help, how can I make my father understand, I really don't want to quit cheer...he says it's just some stupid hobby and I need to grow up and stop just wanting to have fun.

Post this in the main forum when you can! There are people here that can give you advice.

 

[Beans100]

This is coming from experience-

Family therapy legit saved my relationship with my parents. It might sound extreme to go to therapy over cheer, but if there are underlying issues that need to be addressed, then I highly recommend it. I understand that you need an outlet to help with whatever is going on, but if cheer doesn't work out, do you have another alternative?

Another thing would be to talk to the gym about financial concerns and see if you can work out a payment plan. Some gyms offer scholarships for skills. Others will reduce fees if you "work" at the gym (cleaning, helping at tiny/mini practice, filing paperwork.)

When talking with your dad, try not to come at the topic from a place of anger or distress. Present your case - Dad, I want to cheer because of x,y and z. Cheer helps me cope with a,b and c. When I cheer, I feel (fill in the blank) and without cheer I feel (fill in the blank.) Cheer teaches me (insert some life lessons.) Ask what he needs in order for you to continue to cheer. Ask if you guys can come up with a solution together.

Good luck. Feel free to ask any more questions.

 

[queenie]

Can you get a job to help pay for it? Maybe your dad really just can't afford the cost - it's expensive! Maybe if you were able to help with some of the costs and travel logistics it could help change their minds? Good luck!

 

[Luana315]

Can you get a job to help pay for it? Maybe your dad really just can't afford the cost - it's expensive! Maybe if you were able to help with some of the costs and travel logistics it could help change their minds? Good luck!

Well most places I ask for work don't want me to work there because my time schedule is too limited. My younger sisters are getting older and my dad wants to have more money to spend on them too. I get that but I really need Cheer. I've been looking for possibilities to make the traveling cheaper and I'm planning on presenting what I've found to my dad. I hope it's good enough to convince him.

 

[Official OWECheer]

@Cheer Dad maybe you can give us a father's perspective?

 

[Eyes On The Prize]

Well most places I ask for work don't want me to work there because my time schedule is too limited. My younger sisters are getting older and my dad wants to have more money to spend on them too. I get that but I really need Cheer. I've been looking for possibilities to make the traveling cheaper and I'm planning on presenting what I've found to my dad. I hope it's good enough to convince him.

Is school cheer a possibility?

It sounds like all star cheer will be a big commitment to your family, both financially and time wise, and maybe your family cannot handle either one or both right now. Sometimes it just isnt possible for families to afford cheer, especially when there are other children in the family.

If your dad is saying no to all star, ask him about school cheer. It can be cheaper and less of a time commitment since it is local. Or maybe you can take classes at a local gymnastics gym to keep your skills up and stay in shape? Would he be OK with that?

Hope you find a solution though!

 

[Cheer Dad]

@Luana315 my first and most important question is are you currently seeing a medical professional for your depression? If you are not I very strongly encourage you to do so immediately.

As @EyesonThePrize has said, let him know how it makes you feel and how helpful it has been for you mentally.

Sadly though, if money is the issue and you have no way to afford it I am not sure there is a whole lot you can do. All Star Cheer can be financially draining and sometimes different options need to be explored. High school cheer could be a solid compromise for you.

I wish you lots of luck with this and wish I had better words of wisdom for you.


**Slip n Slide. Official sponsor of Worlds 2016**

 

[catlady]

Telling your kids you can't afford something they love is hard for parents, and we don't always communicate financial matters well. Only you can tell your dad what All Star means to you but, you also have to realize budget limitations are a reality. I'm with @Cheer Dad about dealing with your mental health first and foremost, I know All Star is incredible but, it can't solve all health issues. Then, once that is addressed, look at how you budget your time. Can you cut lawns during the summer? Pet sit? Babysit? There is a 12 year old down the street that cuts 3 lawns per day Monday-Saturday at $40 each and then charges $10 per day to watch pets for families on vacation. His mom said he clears $8,000 during his 8 week summer break. I don't think there is anything we can say that can change your dad's mind if this deals with the family budget but, there are some things you may be able to do to prove to your dad how much All Star means to you.

 

[Cheer Dad]

Telling your kids you can't afford something they love is hard for parents, and we don't always communicate financial matters well. Only you can tell your dad what All Star means to you but, you also have to realize budget limitations are a reality. I'm with @Cheer Dad about dealing with your mental health first and foremost, I know All Star is incredible but, it can't solve all health issues. Then, once that is addressed, look at how you budget your time. Can you cut lawns during the summer? Pet sit? Babysit? There is a 12 year old down the street that cuts 3 lawns per day Monday-Saturday at $40 each and then charges $10 per day to watch pets for families on vacation. His mom said he clears $8,000 during his 8 week summer break. I don't think there is anything we can say that can change your dad's mind if this deals with the family budget but, there are some things you may be able to do to prove to your dad how much All Star means to you.

8k in 8 weeks? Damn that's impressive for what he does. Good for him.

 

[Luana315]

@Cheer Dad I am receiving professional help for my disorder. I'm under medications that lessen the symptoms, but since there is no way of completely getting rid of the symptoms, Cheer is kind of what helps me with anything that the meds don't help with.
I've figured out a less expensive option for traveling to my gym. I understand that my dad has his financial limits. But another problem is, that he also thinks it's not worth the money. As I said he considers Cheer senseless and 'not a sport'. He takes much more interest in my sisters volleyball career and says things like 'Cheer is not going to get you anywhere'. But I'm not going to give up. I'll try and approach him again to make him understand what it means to me and that I am willing to earn as much money as I possibly can to pay it back to him. And if he really doesn't agree with any of this then I will try High School Cheer. Thanks a lot for all your advice. :)

 

[Cheer Dad]

Good luck with it @Luana315 and we are all very happy to hear you are under professional care.


Something to consider for the future, what are you going to do when you age out of cheer? Have you really considered what it is about cheer that helps? Is it the people, the exercise, organization, discipline.... You may want to begin considering those things so you can look for an alternative if and when cheer is no longer an option for you.


**Slip n Slide. Official sponsor of Worlds 2016**

 

[Luana315]

I would like to update all of you. I went to Try-Outs at this gym and I made a Senior All Girl 5 Team. Just as one of you suggested I now help at practices in younger/lower leveled teams which makes it less expensive and my father is now willing to pay even though it's still not easy for him. I'm very thankful for this and for all of your advice

 

[vas-aspen]

My parents only let me do cheer after I told my therapist how badly I wanted it and she told them how much it would help me.

Edit: didn't realize this had been resolved sorry!