All-Star Noh8 Apology

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Jan 21, 2011
I want to apologize to anyone who I may have offended by posting in the Pledge thread. Hand to my heart my intention was NOT to take away from the purpose of that message. In fact, my intention was to stress the very concept behind the pledge- respecting people's right to tell their own story and feel safe to be who they truly are. While I can appreciate Num1stunta's story and empathize with her trials and tribulations as well as applaud her for the journey she has taken, I stand by my statement that I feel it is inappropriate to put someone else's business out there like that. It's not very hard to figure out who people are on a message board. I have no problem, in fact I encourage people to tell their story or someone else's story if you have specific permission to do so, not tell the story then go ask if they mind that it was shared.

Again, I apologize if people think I was posting just to start drama. I have personal experience with people thinking they can freely share private details of other people's lives and feel very strongly that if someone wants to share information it should be left up to that person to do so.
I understood your point in the thread so I don't see a need to apologize. Things like that are a personal and important thing in someone's life so I feel it shouldn't just be told randomly by someone else, many may not like that opinion but it is how I personally feel.
Many of us share others' experiences here. I believe her point was to indicate that someone had it a lot worse than she did, and she recognizes that. It's tough to illustrate that point without putting details out there. Further, if the person referenced isn't on the Fierce Board, she wouldn't have been able to post what @Num1Stunta describes as a pretty public story anyway. We're not talking about a minor, here.
Though I understand the point you were trying to make, think about a child, who may have difficulty accepting his or her sexuality. The child reads that thread, thinking "Well, these are great people, but my story is so much worse." Now imagine that child never knowing what Num1Stunta's athlete went through, never having been able to get even a glimpse of someone whose situation was similar, deciding to end his or her life because they never thought it could get better. And that child's suicide might have been prevented just by a simple statement that didn't breach any legal privacy standards whatsoever.
We need to have these conversations. We need to share stories and experiences to save our kids. These are lives- young, bright lives- that have ended because people were afraid to speak. NOH8. NO FEAR, either.
Thank You, @Mamarazzi ... I don't think I could possibly put it any better. Some people need to relax a little bit and take their personal agenda elsewhere. Clearly I was not being malicious in sharing my girls' story. As a coach, I tend to be very maternal with kids (or not kids, in this case) that I coach. Sometimes you get caught up in that, because you care for them so much, you forget they're not actually yours lol. The particular girl who I mentioned in this case, though I have only been coaching her a short time, has really become close with me. I take care of her hair and makeup for games, and have helped her with classwork as well. I think the fact that I am an older, relatively successful (ha) lesbian, I serve as a unique role model for her that a heterosexual coach wouldn't be able to compare to. I enjoy that role. I enjoy any role where I get to provide a kid with an opportunity that they normally wouldn't have access to.

I have always cared deeply for the kids I've coached, and remain in contact with most of them years later. I have girls who are graduating college, who I coached as high school freshmen, and they still message me on facebook when they have a problem that they need advice on. Even now, I have kids from my former team calling and texting me all of the time to ask me for advice, to see what I'm up to, to complain about their coaches, or just to bs. I will text them to ask about school, or family, or whatever, just so that they know I still care about them. Your accusations of me being "rude" and irresponsible are blown way out of context. I'm sorry, but there are plenty of coaches on this board who are public with their identities and where they coach, who talk about way more personal things than I ever have. The bottom line is that I love coaching, I love working with kids, I love taking care of the kids who may fall by the wayside, and talking about the struggles that some of them have had to overcome is a way of educating people, promoting dialogue, inspiring others, and ultimately providing an opportunity for others to share similar stories, realize that they're not alone, and provide us all with insight on how to better help our athletes:) JMO!
It's not very hard to figure out who people are on a message board. I have no problem, in fact I encourage people to tell their story or someone else's story if you have specific permission to do so, not tell the story then go ask if they mind that it.

Sorry, but I kinda can't let this go. You've mentioned twice that it's "not hard to figure out who people are on the board," and it really seems like you know more about the person you chastized than you're saying. Is this a personal thing that you're irritated about? If it makes you feel better, with @Num1Stunta, I have no idea what her cheer affiliation is. And I'm friends with her on facebook, too. It would take a lot for me to care enough about that, specifically, to dig around looking for her gym or even her region of the country, and furthermore, the only affiliations on the Fierce Board that she's EVER made known are Tranny Cats and Cephalopods. Meow.