All-Star Not Sure What To Do..?

[cmpayne]

Okay, this is probably going to make me sound and look really bad, but, I'm really having thoughts about quitting my team. Don't get me wrong I looooove cheerleading and it's one of my favorite things to do, so I kinda want yall's opinions. Here are my reasons -
1. I'm a level 3/4 on a level 5 team, so I don't do anything except stunts and jump tucks. It really makes me feel like disconnected from the rest of the team when they're working on running/standing tumbling and I have to go over to the power rod. I try my hardest to get skills and I work hard but I just wish my gym offered a lower level teams.
2. I feel like I'm the only one who takes it seriously. People constantly come to practice 10-30 minutes late with no excuse and people just don't show up and they don't get in trouble. We need everyone there to do a routine and I honestly don't think we've had a practice with everyone here unless it was for choreography. Nobody wears the right practice clothes, which isn't a big deal but for me it's not hard to put on a black pair of shorts with a black tank. Don't come in wearing hot pink cheetah shorts and a blue top. We have a calender that says what to wear, wear it. There are some people who don't give an effort which holds everyone back. Constant talking while coaches are trying to tell us, I'm always hearing "what did he say?" "where are we supposed to go?" and I'm like "pay attention!" And people actually don't like me because I'm the type of person to tell them to pay attention or if they have a wrong count. I was at practice the other night and it took us 10-15 times to do 4 or 5 kick doubles because they were talking and missing the count and one girl looked at me and said ,"why is it so hard to go w/o music?" and I'm like "how hard is it to go w/ music? K told us to go with the music." I mean we've had this routine since august, the last thing we should be messing up with is counts. I always get these kind of remarks towards me. I mean we had a girl come to practice high once, and some come with hangovers and such. I hear all of the time "I don't wanna be here" "I hate cheering" and it makes me so frustrated. Also, one thing I don't like is that there are favorites in the gym. Some people get away with stuff that if I or some others did it, we would get in trouble. One girl always gets in trouble for not wearing shoes but another one NEVER wears them. Everyone has to take tshirts/pants/etc off but chosen few get to wear them. Some people never have to do extra tumbling at end of practice, they don't have to stretch, or anything. Another thing, I don't think we've done a full out all season yet, and we've had our routine since August. That's why we haven't hit at any of our competitions.
3. I think it's a waste of money that my family doesn't have. I live with my mom and grandparents. My mom doesn't work and it's sometimes hard to get the payments in. I forgot how much we payed in comp fees but it was more than it has been and we've been to 3 one day competitions and we don't have competition. I hate to know that my family pays for gas to drive 3-4 hours there, I don't compete against anyone, and drive 3-4 hours home in one day. The only big competition we're going to is Supernationals, rest are small rinky dink ones in which we probably won't have competition. I joined this team to compete, not perform. Deff not worth the money to go to. It would save my family loads of money.
4. I feel like I don't belong at practice. I only talk to the people in my stunt group, I don't talk to anyone personally on the team because I'm so much different than them. I think it's mostly because I'm more I guess focused than a lot of them and they don't like it when someone tells them they're wrong. I could obviously be replaced because when I had something I had to do and maybe miss one small town hillbilly competition w/ no competition, they talked about replacing me for stunts for the rest of the season. We've had TONS of people miss competitions for something and they got put right back in their spot, why am I different? I ended up not missing the competition anyways but still. Also, I was at practice the other day and I've always been a part of guy co ed stunts and we did a jay up thing. Well I come to practice and I get ready to go to the part and this other girl steps in and does it and when I asked about it nobody answered and I just thought that was really shady. I had a guy tell me that I had no right to say anything because I don't do anything in the routine. I know people talk about me and it's not that I care what people say, it's just I hate going to practice for that reason.
I want yalls honest opinions. I would wait to quit after our only big competition which is Supernationals, then the rest of the season is one days with no competition. I really love to cheer and it's been my life ever since I was in 2nd grade, but my gym just isn't enjoyable anymore. My family thinks it would be okay because they're honestly not too happy with them right now but I told them I'd wait til the end of the season but I really don't know if I can. The only thing they'd have a problem with is my flex group but hey, they've told me they could replace me before. I don't want anyone on the board who reads this to think I just want to get out of the commitment of cheerleading and that I'm trying to be selfish or anything. This is probably one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make, so I want opinions from people with an open mind.

 

[cheerforeverever]

Ultimately its your decision whether staying or leaving is right for you. Some things to consider though:
1. First and foremost: Meeting with your coaches to talk about your concerns sometime outside practice to tell them exactly what you just told us!
-See where that goes. They may not have realized you feel this way when you have to go by yourself to the rod floor or other times during practice! They can also be more strict during practices and realize that they sometimes play favorites even if they dont mean to. Perhaps they can address that everyone has a part in the routine that matters as well. Its up to them. Even if you don't do some super elite level 5 tumbling pass, those stunts cant go up without you and tumbling is only a small part of the score sheet if your teammates didn't notice! If the coaching staff doesnt try to make things right however, then.......
2. Don't leave a team high and dry before a competition no matter how small/large. (leaves a bad taste for all involved)
- If you're going to leave, do it over christmas break and tell them politely that your family can't do it anymore. Don't go out with a bang accusing people of things even if there are things that are wrong that are true, because there will be negativity with leaving that can get nasty and if people are deluded into thinking nothing is wrong/ there aren't favorties, etc. they wont listen anyways to your accusations. Always better to stay professional and take the high road because karma comes back around always. Not to say that constructive criticism for a gym is bad by any means, just dont leave proclaiming "everyone else is mean/the gym stinks/ etc etc etc". Stay classy and polite, then move on!
Whatever you choose, I wish you happiness for the rest of the season!

 

[cmpayne]

Ultimately its your decision whether staying or leaving is right for you. Some things to consider though:
1. First and foremost: Meeting with your coaches to talk about your concerns sometime outside practice to tell them exactly what you just told us!
-See where that goes. They may not have realized you feel this way when you have to go by yourself to the rod floor or other times during practice! They can also be more strict during practices and realize that they sometimes play favorites even if they dont mean to. Perhaps they can address that everyone has a part in the routine that matters as well. Its up to them. Even if you don't do some super elite level 5 tumbling pass, those stunts cant go up without you and tumbling is only a small part of the score sheet if your teammates didn't notice! If the coaching staff doesnt try to make things right however, then.......
2. Don't leave a team high and dry before a competition no matter how small/large. (leaves a bad taste for all involved)
- If you're going to leave, do it over christmas break and tell them politely that your family can't do it anymore. Don't go out with a bang accusing people of things even if there are things that are wrong that are true, because there will be negativity with leaving that can get nasty and if people are deluded into thinking nothing is wrong/ there aren't favorties, etc. they wont listen anyways to your accusations. Always better to stay professional and take the high road because karma comes back around always. Not to say that constructive criticism for a gym is bad by any means, just dont leave proclaiming "everyone else is mean/the gym stinks/ etc etc etc". Stay classy and polite, then move on!
Whatever you choose, I wish you happiness for the rest of the season!

Thanks so much for your input, really makes me think a little more and not be clouded by my frustrations.
Also, I just wanna say I hope nobody thinks I just wanna bash my gym or all of my teammates. Now that I thoroughly read through it, I guess I should've worded better but I literally wrote all of that as I thought it. There are wonderful things about my gym, I was just listing the reasons why I would quit.

 

[cheerforeverever]

No prob! And don't worry about how you worded anything.... I could understand where you're coming from. I think a good number of us on the boards have been in similar situations and I definately didn't get the impression that you were out on a vengenance against your gym or anything lol..... just from experience of leaving gyms/having others leave gyms and seeing good and bad ways to do it, I thought I'd address it if you choose to go down that path! You'd be surprised the way some people "leave the gym with a piece of their mind"...... Its scary and then everyone talks about "so and so the crazy parent/family" the rest of the season haha.....don't reccomend it

 

[VTX]

I've been in a very similar situation and I agree with @cheerforeverever. If you leave, during or after the season, make sure you leave with class. I held off to long and left with as much class as possible and there were still naive parents going up to my mom during the season asking why I left them, when I had already been moved off the lv. 4/5 team to the lv.1 (over the summer placements) before I left. So don't give them a reason to have something against, they'll find one themselves. But defiantly what was said above DON'T leave right before any comp. Good Luck with what ever you decide, just keep that dedication no matter what your team members do!

 

[retiredl5cheer]

Personally, I'd be outtie in an instant. Why pay that much money for something that seems to make you UNhappy? Your teammates have no right to treat you like that and it sounds like the organization is completely unorganized and somewhat unprofessional.

I'm not encouraging gym hopping here, but is there another gym in the area where you may be more happy? You could nicely leave this organization and then join a new one next year. It sounds like you love cheerleading and are just not happy where you are.

PS: If you are performing level 5 stunts and jumps to tuck you ARE a level 5 athlete. Running tumbling is only one aspect of cheerleading and you are clearly keeping up with the team requirements. I was on a level 5 team for 3 years without a running full and I never doubted my placement on the team because I performed where my team needed me to. Full team fulls are not a requirement...in fact I bet the majority of level 5 teams do not have full team fulls.

 

[cmpayne]

Personally, I'd be outtie in an instant. Why pay that much money for something that seems to make you UNhappy? Your teammates have no right to treat you like that and it sounds like the organization is completely unorganized and somewhat unprofessional.

I'm not encouraging gym hopping here, but is there another gym in the area where you may be more happy? You could nicely leave this organization and then join a new one next year. It sounds like you love cheerleading and are just not happy where you are.

PS: If you are performing level 5 stunts and jumps to tuck you ARE a level 5 athlete. Running tumbling is only one aspect of cheerleading and you are clearly keeping up with the team requirements. I was on a level 5 team for 3 years without a running full and I never doubted my placement on the team because I performed where my team needed me to. Full team fulls are not a requirement...in fact I bet the majority of level 5 teams do not have full team fulls.

I've told my mom about a gym about 45 minutes to an hour away that seems nice but it's too far. I've been talking about not cheering my last year/senior year just so I can focus on grades, college, and school plays/musicals because I plan on going to college for it. Right now it's just deciding on whether I can stick it out for the rest of the season. The only thing that is keeping me at the gym is the fact that I'll probably get a really bad name for it.

 

[ErinS]

I would quit based on a financial situation alone. It must be hard to know that your family is sacrificing so much for you to cheer and to have to sit thru practice every day feeling underappreciated

 

[canttouchthis]

go if you feel the need. you think thats bad my first year there a level 5 team and most of us were 16 17 and somehow the owners of are gym heard about our party with drugs and alcohol needless to say we ran for the entire practice and had to do conditiong......... not to hijack the thread just thought id share.

 

[cmpayne]

go if you feel the need. you think thats bad my first year there a level 5 team and most of us were 16 17 and somehow the owners of are gym heard about our party with drugs and alcohol needless to say we ran for the entire practice and had to do conditiong......... not to hijack the thread just thought id share.

I kind of agree with the coaches lol.

 

[ilikebigbows]

They have no right to be talking to you like that. But as someone said in another thread, it's not what they say that matters, it's what you tell them back. If I were you, I would talk to your coach and see if he can maybe give your squad a pep talk on the meaning of "team" and what teamwork is. It really pulled our team together last year. Praying for you!

 

[canttouchthis]

I kind of agree with the coaches lol.

yeah we all loved it when it was happening but we hated it afterwords. teenagers (sigh)

 

[flipper16]

Okay, this is probably going to make me sound and look really bad, but, I'm really having thoughts about quitting my team. Don't get me wrong I looooove cheerleading and it's one of my favorite things to do, so I kinda want yall's opinions. Here are my reasons -
1. I'm a level 3/4 on a level 5 team, so I don't do anything except stunts and jump tucks. It really makes me feel like disconnected from the rest of the team when they're working on running/standing tumbling and I have to go over to the power rod. I try my hardest to get skills and I work hard but I just wish my gym offered a lower level teams.
2. I feel like I'm the only one who takes it seriously. People constantly come to practice 10-30 minutes late with no excuse and people just don't show up and they don't get in trouble. We need everyone there to do a routine and I honestly don't think we've had a practice with everyone here unless it was for choreography. Nobody wears the right practice clothes, which isn't a big deal but for me it's not hard to put on a black pair of shorts with a black tank. Don't come in wearing hot pink cheetah shorts and a blue top. We have a calender that says what to wear, wear it. There are some people who don't give an effort which holds everyone back. Constant talking while coaches are trying to tell us, I'm always hearing "what did he say?" "where are we supposed to go?" and I'm like "pay attention!" And people actually don't like me because I'm the type of person to tell them to pay attention or if they have a wrong count. I was at practice the other night and it took us 10-15 times to do 4 or 5 kick doubles because they were talking and missing the count and one girl looked at me and said ,"why is it so hard to go w/o music?" and I'm like "how hard is it to go w/ music? K told us to go with the music." I mean we've had this routine since august, the last thing we should be messing up with is counts. I always get these kind of remarks towards me. I mean we had a girl come to practice high once, and some come with hangovers and such. I hear all of the time "I don't wanna be here" "I hate cheering" and it makes me so frustrated. Also, one thing I don't like is that there are favorites in the gym. Some people get away with stuff that if I or some others did it, we would get in trouble. One girl always gets in trouble for not wearing shoes but another one NEVER wears them. Everyone has to take tshirts/pants/etc off but chosen few get to wear them. Some people never have to do extra tumbling at end of practice, they don't have to stretch, or anything. Another thing, I don't think we've done a full out all season yet, and we've had our routine since August. That's why we haven't hit at any of our competitions.
3. I think it's a waste of money that my family doesn't have. I live with my mom and grandparents. My mom doesn't work and it's sometimes hard to get the payments in. I forgot how much we payed in comp fees but it was more than it has been and we've been to 3 one day competitions and we don't have competition. I hate to know that my family pays for gas to drive 3-4 hours there, I don't compete against anyone, and drive 3-4 hours home in one day. The only big competition we're going to is Supernationals, rest are small rinky dink ones in which we probably won't have competition. I joined this team to compete, not perform. Deff not worth the money to go to. It would save my family loads of money.
4. I feel like I don't belong at practice. I only talk to the people in my stunt group, I don't talk to anyone personally on the team because I'm so much different than them. I think it's mostly because I'm more I guess focused than a lot of them and they don't like it when someone tells them they're wrong. I could obviously be replaced because when I had something I had to do and maybe miss one small town hillbilly competition w/ no competition, they talked about replacing me for stunts for the rest of the season. We've had TONS of people miss competitions for something and they got put right back in their spot, why am I different? I ended up not missing the competition anyways but still. Also, I was at practice the other day and I've always been a part of guy co ed stunts and we did a jay up thing. Well I come to practice and I get ready to go to the part and this other girl steps in and does it and when I asked about it nobody answered and I just thought that was really shady. I had a guy tell me that I had no right to say anything because I don't do anything in the routine. I know people talk about me and it's not that I care what people say, it's just I hate going to practice for that reason.
I want yalls honest opinions. I would wait to quit after our only big competition which is Supernationals, then the rest of the season is one days with no competition. I really love to cheer and it's been my life ever since I was in 2nd grade, but my gym just isn't enjoyable anymore. My family thinks it would be okay because they're honestly not too happy with them right now but I told them I'd wait til the end of the season but I really don't know if I can. The only thing they'd have a problem with is my flex group but hey, they've told me they could replace me before. I don't want anyone on the board who reads this to think I just want to get out of the commitment of cheerleading and that I'm trying to be selfish or anything. This is probably one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make, so I want opinions from people with an open mind.

I really dont know what to tell you about the whole quitting thing but I just wanted to say that even if you may not have the tumbling ur still a level 5. What my coaches tell us is that everyone has a job and place on a team and they we're put on that team for a reason. Don't let them convince u that aren't as important because u r just as important as the center flyer or best tumbler. That's something coaches said at the beginning of the season and it's so true. Everyone has a place on their team, that's why they were put on that team.
Sorry that sounds all over the place I'm bad at explaining things lol

 

[Keep_Believing]

I will say when you quit in the middle of the season it can really hurt the whole team. There are probably some girls on the team who also work really hard and sacrifice to be there. If you are a small gym, then leaving could have a big impact on them. But, in the end you have to make the decision that works for you and your family. Tough decisions.

 

[mom24girls]

I would leave when they have a big enough gap between competitions to rearrange the routine. My mini aged dd's team has had to do it with only 1 or 2 practices before comp and while it wasn't a problem it was pretty stressful for everyone. I wouldn't stick it out if you are unhappy considering the cost of cheer. By the way I don't think you were bashing your team you had to give us the details and how you feel for us to give you our opinion. Good luck in your decision and hopefully if you decide to leave they are mature about it.