All-Star Please Help Me....ugh!

[Mamarazzi]

And now, all of a sudden she is saying "my mom is going to put me on medication, too!" I would never make a child feel as if taking medication is wrong or something to be ashamed of. Especially when I have anxiety issues of my own that really need to be handled.

If the child is saying her mom is going to put her on meds, she obviously has no clue what she's talking about. Unless Mom is a psychiatrist and is ethically bankrupt and treats her own child as a patient, but whatever.

Ooh, that sounded terrible.

And, no, it didn't sound terrible. If it's true, deal, but it's nothing to be the least bit ashamed of!

 

[12stepCheermom]

UltimateRudags is correct. I also make kids leave practice. It's so embarrassing it almost never happens but it does and it works. And tears are only allowed for injuries--my minis know this too.
Eye rolling will get a conference with the parent following practice.

Be the alpha or the pack will elect one for you.

I love this alpha thing, it's exactly correct. I'm a parent but our coaches don't allow crying either or you get sent off the mat. They also completely don't put up with disrespect or it's the same thing plus talking to parents if it's bad enough. If they aren't focused, they condition...a lot. Don't get me wrong, they re very positive people but you're there to do a job and you're expected to be focused and do it. If thatst not your mindset you can take a seat until it is.

 

[Mamarazzi]

I think all you need to say is you coach an Open level 6. I think that explains it all ;)

I have anxiety issues just watching level 6, so that makes perfect sense...

 

[12stepCheermom]

I don't know that I'd do anything drastic right now. It's coming in on the end of the season. It may be something to address generally in a parent meeting that tells them that the coming season (your evals are probably in a month or to yes) that there will be specific written expectations everyone is expected to sign and adhere to. Then people don't feel you're changing the game at the end, they just know specific changes are coming for the next season. If they return they're choosing to make those changes and adhere to those rules. I would le them know its something you're going to address for the remaining season, but I wouldn't go hard core on making them sign stuff until they have the opportunity to decide if they want to sign on the dotted line for the coming season.

Just my thoughts in terms of due process from a high school principal.

 

[SarahS]

I don't know that I'd do anything drastic right now. It's coming in on the end of the season. It may be something to address generally in a parent meeting that tells them that the coming season (your evals are probably in a month or to yes) that there will be specific written expectations everyone is expected to sign and adhere to. Then people don't feel you're changing the game at the end, they just know specific changes are coming for the next season. If they return they're choosing to make those changes and adhere to those rules. I would le them know its something you're going to address for the remaining season, but I wouldn't go hard core on making them sign stuff until they have the opportunity to decide if they want to sign on the dotted line for the coming season.

Just my thoughts in terms of due process from a high school principal.

Yes, definitely, I wouldn't make them sign something this late in the season - I was thinking more for next year. But I would lay out expectations and, again, highlight the reasoning behind them - safety, safety, safety. It is more difficult for parents to disagree with you when you're arguing for ways to make their kids safer.

 

[redsmom]

Some kids are just more anxious/sensitive then others, if you can see a kid starting to lose it, tearing up or getting pouty, I would send them for a water break. Let them compose themselves and then return, without making a big issue of it.

Don't put up with the attitude though! Call them on it.

 

[BowsnBling]

We used to have a little girl that got extreme anxiety before she competed. It started to effect the rest of the team because they were young and the little girl would cry and refuse to base or catch people so it would scare the other teammates. After meeting with her mom and the girl outside of the gym ( as she felt pressure while at the gym ) we figured out that even though she had skills to be on a youth 2 team she was actually more comfortable on Senior 1. She was afraid to say anything and then held it in and started freaking herself and the team out.

May I ask how old these kids are or if it is spread out through all of the teams? Can you give an specific example of the anxiety?

When it comes to attitude I have truly learned that attitude comes from the parents. Maybe the parents have not been happy with things at the gym and they have spoken to their kids about it and in turn you are getting attitude. Granted not all kids learn from parents but alot do. Goodluck!

 

[hopskipandjump]

wow. Thanks everyone! I really mean that!! No, I wasn't going to make them sign something tonight, just have a form done and go over what will be expected next season and how we will be handling the situation for the last two competitions.
Anxiety case example has become while waiting to go on the floor with a burst of sudden crying. I can see it coming before hand usually, but it always shocks me because its coming from kids who normally are not cryers. What seems to be happening is a domino effect, at least for my mini kids. The junior girls are just as bad. I try to kid or joke or distract (going to try the water thing) - but it does not always work and frankly, I am exhausted by the time I calm everyone down. Like, its NOT FUN. We didn't have this problem, at least not like this until just in the last month or so. I can't figure out if we are competing too much, not enough, etc? (dec - one, jan - one, feb - two, march- two and april-one). Maybe too large of competitions??? All but one were extremely large events for us.
Attitude: example, while waiting to go on yesterday, the other coach used a hair softener sheet on the kids to keep their hair from flying away (she did it for her daughter, but all the kids wanted her to do theirs too). One girl didn't want it done, so the coach said ok. And the girl said, I don't want you to put that on my hair after using it on everyone else. So the coach said well, I can get you a new one, to which she replied: I don't think so, folded her arms across her chest and stood apart from everyone else until they took the floor. We ignored it in order to keep the other girls from noticing, but I wanted to wring the kids neck quite honestly. That's just a quickie example. But what would you do really? We were minutes from competing....deal with the attitude then?

 

[cupieqt]

Attitude: example, while waiting to go on yesterday, the other coach used a hair softener sheet on the kids to keep their hair from flying away (she did it for her daughter, but all the kids wanted her to do theirs too). One girl didn't want it done, so the coach said ok. And the girl said, I don't want you to put that on my hair after using it on everyone else. So the coach said well, I can get you a new one, to which she replied: I don't think so, folded her arms across her chest and stood apart from everyone else until they took the floor. We ignored it in order to keep the other girls from noticing, but I wanted to wring the kids neck quite honestly. That's just a quickie example. But what would you do really? We were minutes from competing....deal with the attitude then?

you were right to wait and I'd probably even wait until we got back to the gym after the comp. But a quick word with Susie is definitely necessary.

 

[BowsnBling]

wow. Thanks everyone! I really mean that!! No, I wasn't going to make them sign something tonight, just have a form done and go over what will be expected next season and how we will be handling the situation for the last two competitions.
Anxiety case example has become while waiting to go on the floor with a burst of sudden crying. I can see it coming before hand usually, but it always shocks me because its coming from kids who normally are not cryers. What seems to be happening is a domino effect, at least for my mini kids. The junior girls are just as bad. I try to kid or joke or distract (going to try the water thing) - but it does not always work and frankly, I am exhausted by the time I calm everyone down. Like, its NOT FUN. We didn't have this problem, at least not like this until just in the last month or so. I can't figure out if we are competing too much, not enough, etc? (dec - one, jan - one, feb - two, march- two and april-one). Maybe too large of competitions??? All but one were extremely large events for us.
Attitude: example, while waiting to go on yesterday, the other coach used a hair softener sheet on the kids to keep their hair from flying away (she did it for her daughter, but all the kids wanted her to do theirs too). One girl didn't want it done, so the coach said ok. And the girl said, I don't want you to put that on my hair after using it on everyone else. So the coach said well, I can get you a new one, to which she replied: I don't think so, folded her arms across her chest and stood apart from everyone else until they took the floor. We ignored it in order to keep the other girls from noticing, but I wanted to wring the kids neck quite honestly. That's just a quickie example. But what would you do really? We were minutes from competing....deal with the attitude then?

For the anxiety - instead of meeting with the kids and discussing it all together I would pull them aside , only because at team meetings alot of kids are afraid to say how they really feel. What I did with the little girl that we had was have her email me, kids now a days are alot better with facebook, text and email, sadly enough that is the case, for this it worked great. She said everything she was afraid to talk about. I would maybe send an email home that says the following " It has come to the staff's attention that we are experiencing quite a bit of anxiety in the warm up room. We would love for you to take some time , at home, with your athlete and ask them how they feel things are going in the warm up room. "

Maybe you might get some feedback. Also, Do you practice the exact same warm up everytime? For example, our kids no matter what the warm up room looks like , do the same warm up pretty much at each comp. That gives them a sense of security and they are comfortable knowing what happens next. Also, do the kids watch their competitors in the warm up room or prior to entering? If so that could be rattling them. Maybe try a scavenger hunt or team bonding outside to keep them together and out of the venue.

I am intrigued to see how things go. Goodluck!

 

[cheer4ever0522]

Are you from Chicago? LOL.

I don't allow crying unless you are hurt. Any other tears will get you kicked out of practice until you come back composed. This sport is not only physically tough, you need to have emotional strength.

Attitude. HECK NO. Again, you can leave the gym until your ready to come back with a good attitude. I promote good sportsmanship and presentation to the public eye. If you are not representing yourself well, try another sport.

Im kind of a stickler on attitude. One eye roll will get you a ton of conditioning, if not, kicked out of practice and an IMMEDIATE meeting with your parents. Maybe its my small town raising in Iowa, but I grew up that NO MATTER WHAT, you respect your elders. The way kids think they can talk to me and 'make their own rules' doesn't fly. I can tell you, I have seen A LOT of maturity and self-respect to kids who have had me teach them about respect and consequences. Set a strong precedent in the beginning, and it will be easy the rest of the season.

true!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[coach12]

Are you from Chicago? LOL.

I don't allow crying unless you are hurt. Any other tears will get you kicked out of practice until you come back composed. This sport is not only physically tough, you need to have emotional strength.

Attitude. HECK NO. Again, you can leave the gym until your ready to come back with a good attitude. I promote good sportsmanship and presentation to the public eye. If you are not representing yourself well, try another sport.

Im kind of a stickler on attitude. One eye roll will get you a ton of conditioning, if not, kicked out of practice and an IMMEDIATE meeting with your parents. Maybe its my small town raising in Iowa, but I grew up that NO MATTER WHAT, you respect your elders. The way kids think they can talk to me and 'make their own rules' doesn't fly. I can tell you, I have seen A LOT of maturity and self-respect to kids who have had me teach them about respect and consequences. Set a strong precedent in the beginning, and it will be easy the rest of the season.

You are my new hero!!!

 

[BuegeSmalls]

Quoting my coach, "NO CRYING ON THE BLUE MAT!!!"

 

[CoachMandiCF]

Our athletes sign a contract at the beginning of the season that is like an "I Pledge" form that entails social media, attitudes at practice and disciplinary issues. It's worked very well for us. I'm also a firm believer that if the athletes respect their coaches, this type of behavior can be nipped in the bud quickly. I very rearely have any issues with disrespect on any of my teams. And when I do have to deal with it, the reaction I get is very apologetic.

 

[fullpass]

Sorry I didn't see the age of the cheerleaders in question but I have friends with kids in programs where there have been outbreaks of everything from anxiety to tumbling blocks. Sometimes kids do feed off one another's emotions but other times they just see what gets attention and then mimic that to get attention too. . .