Thank you, that means a lot from you.
I accept all the responsibility for what happened. I heard the rumors and took her there anyways. I saw it with my own eyes, yet we continued. There was this feeling that if she tried just a little harder, got a little more skill, she would become one of the untouchable kids.
It's very sick and I should not have allowed it.
You're a good mom. I say that because parents are not perfect, but you are willing to accept responsibility for your lapse. Your daughter has learned alot from your humility.
A similar thing happened to a girl who was basing me when I cheered. She was a great base and everything she touched hit. But, when a girl from another township sent a video in, the coach brought her in. The athlete's mom was sick in the hospital and she was with her for one practice. It was the one practice she ever missed, the coach rearranged the routine while she was gone, to include the new girl. When she came back next practice and it was time for "only stunting". She ran to her spot, but there was someone already there. The coach never really had a talk with her, she just sort of figured it out on her own. Needless to say, she quit, but since her family had already bought airline tickets to our big comp of the season, she came out to cheer us on. We didn't do well. Her being treated that way caused a big rift in our team. We loved her, she was one of "us". I think coaches and parents don't realize what goes on during practice and on the mat at competition. We talk about our days at practice, our boyfriends and girlfriends, our mess ups, how tired we are, and yes, when our parents are getting on our nerves. We tell fart jokes so we can smile big in the dance at the end of the 100th full-out. We encourage each other, and give each other advice on how to get better. When something goes wrong, we keep each other's spirits up. It's hard to smile when your routine falls apart. But, kids do it. Sometimes, we make a funny face to keep from crying. When she left, it was like losing a part of our family. It tore the team apart. She had been there the entire season and had never missed a competition, except the last one. We weren't mad at the new girl, she was cool. But, we missed her and everyone felt like if it could happen to someone that nice and good at her job, then no one was safe. I quit a year later.
When I started tutoring kids while in college, I realized how important a coach, favorite teacher, or mentor can be. If I told a student I was proud of them, their face would light up. If they made a mistake and I corrected them, not so much. My opinion meant everything. Some of those kids, started tutoring younger kids and would visit just to show me what they were doing. It just made me realize how important it is to be gentle with developing kids.
ok...off my soapbox. Carry on...