All-Star Rip Amanda

[Hannahbanana418]

I wish i saw this video when she posted it. No one deserves to go through what she did.

 

[12stepCheermom]

Maybe it's because I grew up without computers and cellphones but wouldn't a lot of the "stalking" and harassment be nipped in the bud by deleting a minor's facebook account?
Maybe I'm missing something but when did having an outlet to social media become a right for kids? It truly boggles my mind that there are parents out there who have no idea what is going on in their child's online life. I'm not saying that these parent's didn't but there is obviously some kind of disconnect going on if she posted the video a month ago and NO ONE stepped up to help her.
Also someone asked earlier about the kids who bullied and their parents, this behavior is learned.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this. Im sure ill get flamed for this (which is ironic given the meat of this discussion is about cyber bullying) but this is the fierce board and were nothing if not opinionated, so here it is...

After she moved the first time, why didnt she just delete her Facebook? They didn't physically follow her, it was all cyberspace. If you're not in cyberspace, they can't touch you. Yes, I get the whole, "why should she have to delete her Facebook, she didn't do anything wrong" argument...but if you're really committed to stopping this, changing, moving on and not perpetuating the situation etc...you'd should at least disconnect for a while, a few months at least, until you've got the support you need to cope and re-enter social media with more resources to deal with the issue. Change your email address, delete social media accounts...disconnect and build supportive relationships with real flesh and blood people.

She said she was getting regular counseling at one point....why wouldnt a professional counselor have suggested (if not demanded this) if her parents didn't require it? And if her parents did require it and she didn't follow their direction, then both she and the parents have some equal issue in not actually doing "everything" they could to have stopped this and gotten help. She wouldve chosen to stay plugged in and they weren't diligent enough to make her follow their directions. If they had to take every smartphone, iPod and laptop out of her possession to unplug her, that's what should've happened....at least until she got help, learned some coping skills and re-entered social media in a supervised and structured enviornment. Its not like what she described was legal, report their accounts and press charges. Consistently. Take a stand and do it legally. Why didn't that happen? If its his profile pic he's likely to be charged with possession of child porn-he would in NC and its a slam dunk charge and conviction....why didn't that happen. If they're going after you with big guns...pull out the cannon. Why didn't that happen?

I'm not trying to put the blame on anyone or anything (trust me, we just had a 14 y/o suicide across town at another high school...and her family and the boyfriends family came out publicly to stop people from assuming it was because of her "good for nothing abusive boyfriend" because they broke up...they both said that wasn't it and encouraged people not to jump to the bully conclusion as a first assumption since the former boyfriend was all but getting death threats) but these issues are usually ridiculously complex and involve layers and layers of personal, family, mental health and other concerns that can't be boiled down to just one trigger. I think there's plenty of blame for lots of people related to this but part of that blame inevitably falls on the girl who chose this decision for herself.

Feel free to flame away....just be cognizant when you're jumping me for my (most likely highly unpopular) opinion, you're not using tone, language and cyber behavior that reflects the exact thing you're arguing against. #irony

 

[catlady]

I can't imagine what this family went through, I am so sorry. As a society, we find public stonings barbaric, however, we often turn our heads the other way to tactics such as those this poor child had to endure for years.

 

[The Sixth]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this. Im sure ill get flamed for this (which is ironic given the meat of this discussion is about cyber bullying) but this is the fierce board and were nothing if not opinionated, so here it is...

....

Feel free to flame away....just be cognizant when you're jumping me for my (most likely highly unpopular) opinion, you're not using tone, language and cyber behavior that reflects the exact thing you're arguing against. #irony

I think you've answered your own questions. It probably is a much more complex issue than it appears on the surface. I won't, and most other people probably shouldn't either comment too much without knowing the particulars about the situation.

I don't disagree with what you've said, but I will say it's much easier to say this as an adult. But you have to put things in the perspective of a 15 year old child with lots of issues. Life is hard enough at that age.

Adults know (or should know) better; but no matter how bad things look, children want...to the point of need...acceptance by their peers. So it's not quite as simple as just going off the grid to solve your problems. Even when adults are 100% right, children's minds still tend to feel like they don't understand.

 

[CoachTamara]

After she moved the first time, why didnt she just delete her Facebook? They didn't physically follow her, it was all cyberspace. If you're not in cyberspace, they can't touch you. Yes, I get the whole, "why should she have to delete her Facebook, she didn't do anything wrong" argument...but if you're really committed to stopping this, changing, moving on and not perpetuating the situation etc...you'd should at least disconnect for a while, a few months at least, until you've got the support you need to cope and re-enter social media with more resources to deal with the issue. Change your email address, delete social media accounts...disconnect and build supportive relationships with real flesh and blood people.

This is totally my opinion (and may not be relevant to her situation at all), but I think a lot of kids now feel like facebook or cyberspace are their only means of communication. Nobody calls anymore-it's all through facebook and texts and other forms that a bully can hide behind. If I am a teen, I think the only way I can connect and talk to my friends (especially if I've moved recently) is through the internet. It's a place to reach out and meet people, rather than old fashioned hanging out at the park, skating rink, etc. It makes it even easier for people to bully and find you, but for many of these kids, facebook is the end all be all. They post 20 statuses a day, are friends with thousands of people (many that they don't know), and check it all day long. It's a popularity thing. It wouldn't be "cool" to not have one, although it might be the best.
It's just so sad. We have had a string of suicides here too, and I can't help but think that internet is partially to blame. You hear about it more often, and they see the attention these kids are getting. People are mad at the bullies, and are finally on the side of the victim, which is what these kids want. It's just something I don't think will be fixed by simple "anti-bullying" campaigns (although it may help). There are just so many deeper issues with technology and the way kids are brought up now.

 

[CheerBank]

Maybe it's because I grew up without computers and cellphones but wouldn't a lot of the "stalking" and harassment be nipped in the bud by deleting a minor's facebook account?
Maybe I'm missing something but when did having an outlet to social media become a right for kids? It truly boggles my mind that there are parents out there who have no idea what is going on in their child's online life. I'm not saying that these parent's didn't but there is obviously some kind of disconnect going on if she posted the video a month ago and NO ONE stepped up to help her.
Also someone asked earlier about the kids who bullied and their parents, this behavior is learned.

I read in an article that the family released a statement that there were things in place to help her in home, at school and in the community, so it does seem like there were adults aware of what was going on to some extent and trying to help her. Reading that made me feel a little better because I had the same question about that as you did, why something had not been done to help her when she reached out for help.

 

[CheerForACauseAmbassador]

the video was sooo painful to watch!!! you can SEE the pain she went through. My step dad is a cop and it was too painful for him to watch. Theres several rip amanda todd fb pages and im seeing a lot of negitive comments.. Why are people sooo heartless!!
I was reading an article online and someone posted a picture of clorox bleach with the caption "its to die for" on one of the fb pages... Some people are SOOOOO heartless!! I guess it shows that some people needs some growing up to do and FAST!! NO ONE should go through what Amanda Todd went through.. Especially at the age of 15!!!

Rip Amanda Todd
its not goodbye its see you later

 

[FierceIsTheName]

Rest in Peace, Amanda.
I know there is a thread somewhere here on fierceboard if you need someone to talk to.

That video was probably the saddest videos i've ever seen. It was Posted 9/7/12. Her death being a month later :(

 

[BuegeSmalls]

Wow. I just don't understand why people enjoy hurting others so much. RIP Amanda<3

 

[lucyemma]

Such a tragedy. It is comforting to see that her story has spread worldwide though-I just went on my British sky news top stories to find that they had put it on there to highlight her story. It is such a shame that she can't be here to see the impact she that has had on anti-bullying and an even bigger shame that people had the nerve to negatively impact her life the way they did. I hope it opens many bullies eyes because it is never okay! Sending love, prayers and comfort to her family and cheer family, RIP beautiful angel

 

[laughAlittle]

Can you guys argue and complain about this somewhere else or in a PM? This is a place to honor and give prayers for Amanda.

RIP AMANDA, I will be sending prayers for you and your family.

 

[Just.Keep.Twisting]

No one should ever have to go through that. Such a sad situation. This video made me cry and is very powerful. I am so sorry no one was there to help you when you needed it Amanda. Kids are vicious now-a-days, it is truly a shame.

Sending prayers to Amanda's family and VAS.

 

[IzzyFierce]

The thing that keeps getting me is how people keep saying "Nobody cared until she got famous."
NO. THATS NOT TRUE. I WAS NOT GIVEN THE CHANCE. Most of us were not given the chance. I wish I knew her. I would have saved her. I know I would have. I literally can't think about her without tearing up, and I have not gone a day without thinking about her since hearing her story. I know we could have saved her. She just didn't have the right people around her... :[
I wish I knew her, I swear I wish I did. God would have one less angel, but we would have one more friend...

Rest in peace Amanda... I never knew you, but I truly wish I did... :[

 

[IzzyFierce]

I feel like something big should be done to remember Amanda and to remind everyone that a couple words make a big difference...

For now, I've kind of just made up a day for everyone to wear sky blue (VAS colors) to remind everyone about Amanda and how much of an impact one person can have on another. November 27, which would be her 16th birthday, is when I think we should do it.
Also, October is anti-bullying month... :/ Keep it in mind and help all in need.

 

[cheernerd5678]

more than 100,000 likes on the facebook page created for her... in only a couple days. I Love the cheer community <3
RIP Amanda. What a tragedy, nobody should have to go through any of that. :(