All-Star Secret App

[TheVipersMom]

Omg I'm about to sound crazy...I cannot believe I'm writing this on the internet!!! Please forgive me.

Well I wasn't a bad kid but in 8th grade I must of made a few (a lot) of terrible choices.

I had done something that I shouldn't have but it was not on school property.

A few days later some girl who had the same name as me who was in my homeroom (sorry Kristen) was upset because apparently she had been asked about it. She went and told the principal what I did. The principal didn't like me already because that wasn't my first visit to her office :/ (I had been in a few fights) the principal called me from gym class one day and confronted me. She said I heard that you done this. My response was I did and it didn't happen here. She said well if my daughter had done this I would want to know so now your mom is going to know. I questioned her how can I get into trouble for something I didn't do at school and she didn't answer but just restated that she would call my mom. So I begged her not to and asked if maybe I could tell her because I thought the commendable thing to do would be to go home and tell my mom what I had done and that she would like it more hearing it from me versus the principal. Well I told my mom after school and my mom kicked me out the second I told her... Like seriously I had to get my stuff and leave. So I went to live with my dad. The next day the principal called me to the office and I told her what happened and she said good now I don't have to call your mom.

I would get talked about at school (not because of what I did) and I didn't go tell on the hundreds of others who always picked on me. I just dealt with it. The only thing anyone ever said bad about me was about my lazy eye which I was use to being constantly talked about since my eye has been lazy it's whole life despite having surgeries that never fixed it!! Like why could my left eye not be straight!!

Then things started spiraling out of control I was mad at my mom for not allowing me to stay at the house and for kicking me out. I was mad that my dad didn't care. I was miserable so I started doing dumb stuff. I got suspended for kicking the chair out from under someone. I got suspended for sexual harassment because a teacher heard a comment I made to someone (not what y'all think it is). Suspended for fighting again... I was still mad at the one girl for telling the principal since the principal was going to tell on me so I told the girl I would kill her because she made my life miserable (I was kidding my life was a hell hole before I got kicked out). OMG STUPID STUPID STUPIDEST thing I ever said. I was removed from school about 5 mins after the girl told on me. They had counselors on wheels brought in to talk to me within 30 mins? I guess the school ones weren't capable of this. They required me to see like 5 different therapists whom all said nothing was wrong with me and they thought I just needed someone to talk to because apparently I opened up and talked a lot to all of them. I'm sure that's no surprise to any of you but I'm sure that was the easiest talk they ever had to have with a kid. It was as simple as don't talk about my eye or make fun of me and I will like you. My eye caused me so much grief growing up. Even in elementary school kids would be like what's wrong with your eye? Who are you looking at because I can't tell. That stuff started to really get under my skin but no one ever told me that it was ok. That other people have things they aren't ok with to. Every fight I was in but one was all a result of me having a lazy eye... In 9th grade I stopped hating everyone else and hated myself it was much easier this way. I wanted to die every single day.

It took years after highschool for me and a crazy insane relationship that just about killed me (I shared this before) to realize that I'm so much better then that. That for every 1 thing that someone else says about me that makes me feel worthless that there are 20 more things that make me priceless.

I said all that for 2 reason..

1 is because of this current conversation I just realized I don't think the principal was just going to tell my mom, I think she was trying to make me think I had to. I should of never admitted to it!! I'm so dumb!! But thank god this app wasn't around them if someone made a comment about my eye and other people were anonymously posting about I would be a hot mess. People were bad enough in real life I didn't need anyone to hide behind fake names and make it worse :(

2 is I wrote that for the people that are on the app that either done things they aren't proud of that is now no longer a secret. Things that were posted that were made up to hurt them and that aren't even true. For people that can't take the bullying anymore and even once thought that they want to end it. Please don't! This app is terrible and I'm happy for all the gyms stepping up and just getting it removed from their kids I have a feeling it may have saved someone's life. People can get their feelings hurt over anything you don't want to be that person that causes them to hit their breaking point. Please think before you post on any website social media is no joke. Oh and let's not take any nudes it would be much better that way because you would never have to wonder if it will fall into the wrong hands.


If anyone wants to talk ever I'm not the smartest person and I don't know everything but I would love to talk to anyone that may need a friend or just someone who you can talk to that won't judge you!



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[getsum]

too many institutions are trying to act as co-parents, without even asking too. they just assume that they can take some over-reaching parenting stance. they need to realize their place. in this case, gyms, they are athletic directors and coaches. i get what they are trying to do, but its not really their place to be dictating to kids, that aren't theirs, what that kid can and can't do outside of the gym. even if the kids represent the gym, it's not the kid's entire life, and the gym does not own them. the money/payments goes/go to the gym and not the other way around. if there really is such a concern, on behalf of the athletic personnel, then there should be some sort of informative meeting/email with/sent to the parents about that concern and then let them, the actual parents, handle the situation as a family.

also, trying to protect kids from anonymous hateful messages on the internet is a fruitless endeavor, unless they are banned from all social internet sites/apps. fake accounts can be made on any type of site where messages can be sent to other users.

 

[Eyes On The Prize]

too many institutions are trying to act as co-parents, without even asking too. they just assume that they can take some over-reaching parenting stance. they need to realize their place. in this case, gyms, they are athletic directors and coaches. i get what they are trying to do, but its not really their place to be dictating to kids, that aren't theirs, what that kid can and can't do outside of the gym. even if the kids represent the gym, it's not the kid's entire life, and the gym does not own them. the money/payments goes/go to the gym and not the other way around. if there really is such a concern, on behalf of the athletic personnel, then there should be some sort of informative meeting/email with/sent to the parents about that concern and then let them, the actual parents, handle the situation as a family.

also, trying to protect kids from anonymous hateful messages on the internet is a fruitless endeavor, unless they are banned from all social internet sites/apps. fake accounts can be made on any type of site where messages can be sent to other users.

I see what you are saying but I have to disagree with you. Yes, your child is representing his or her gym as a brand. Just because you are paying them doesn't mean they shouldn't have say over what your child does/does not do. Obviously there are certain thing that they should stay away from but I don't think social media is something that should be off limits from them. I know my highschool cheer team was not allowed to have a myspace/Facebook/whatever platform was popular then. If you were a potential employee at a company and you represented yourself in a negative manner on social media, don't you think that your employer would have second thoughts about bringing you into the company? Because whether you eat and breathe that company or not, you are representing them. A cheer gym is the same way.

Also, this app is not going to be used for good. The sooner they get their athletes off of the app, the quicker they can control what's being said, whose saying it, and how it's affecting their athletes. No coach wants to see their athletes upset or sabotaged. And I'm sure the announcement from gyms also brought the app into light for many parents. Who can honestly say they know EVERYTHING their child is doing online/on their phone? If I were a parent, I'd be grateful for these announcements from the gyms and would enforce the rule for my children.

Am I the only one who's dreading the day we hear of a suicide surrounding this app because of what someone said about someone else and caused them so much mental distress that they felt that they couldn't deal with it anymore?



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[Just-a-Mom]

If you were a potential employee at a company and you represented yourself in a negative manner on social media, don't you think that your employer would have second thoughts about bringing you into the company? Because whether you eat and breathe that company or not, you are representing them. A cheer gym is the same way.


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I am actually on the side that the gym *should* be able to make these rules, but just to clarify... A cheer gym is in no way like an employer. I most certainly do NOT receive biweekly checks from my child's cheer gym - nor does she (or her dance studio as the case may be). As a matter of fact, it's the other way around. So, by this logic I should be telling THEM what to do, and how to act. :p

(Lol disclaimer - I DO receive checks from her dance studio, because I work there. But that is not the same :D )

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[Dixie]

I find the gym position interesting because a few years ago I had an encounter with athletes and drug use (outside the gym, but they commented about being high at practice). I took it to the coach and was told they would speak with the kids, but they couldn't control what happened outside the gym. I'm guessing something big happened to change their philosophy on this.


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[getsum]

If you were a potential employee at a company and you represented yourself in a negative manner on social media, don't you think that your employer would have second thoughts about bringing you into the company? Because whether you eat and breathe that company or not, you are representing them. A cheer gym is the same way.
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you posed a different scenario: the person represents an entity *and* that person is showing themselves in negative light. i would agree here that a company should be able to protect itself in this manner. however, what the gyms are doing is issuing a blanket rule: you are not allowed to use this because a) we see you as a potential negative person or b) we see you as a potential victim. the rule is being applied even to people who may wish to use the app in a positive or neutral way (yes, this app can be used in a positive way). to automatically assume that something will be bad and to disallow everyone to use something because of that bias is going overboard. i guess im tired of people/institutions trying to wrap kids in bubble-wrap. what next? you can't go hiking up a mountain because you *might* get hurt and ruin your cheer team's competition prospects?

 

[cheerKT]

So basically cheerleaders were showing up naked or something on this app?

I still am so confused by the desire to take a send nudes. Like I will NEVER get it.

 

[JayySoFierce]

I haven't seen any "nudes" yet. I don't post or comment on this app, I simply downloaded it to see what it was all about. I saw some "scandalous" photographs (mostly of gay male cheerleaders *cough* stop being sluts *cough*) but nothing that actually made me gasp or anything. Also, I was an awful teenager at some point but still, this app is no bueno.

 

[JayySoFierce]

I haven't seen any "nudes" yet. I don't post or comment on this app, I simply downloaded it to see what it was all about. I saw some "scandalous" photographs (mostly of gay male cheerleaders *cough* stop being sluts *cough*) but nothing that actually made me gasp or anything. Also, I was an awful teenager at some point but still, this app is no bueno.

stop double replying to my answers, ugh.

 

[JayySoFierce]

pjsh posh

 

[cupieqt]

I think ultimately it lies in a balance of both. Honestly at a certain age you stop listening to your parents and you start to do certain things regardless of their feelings about it, but at the end of the day if your child can look back and say "maybe my parents were right about that" or "I learned this because my parents allowed me to" then I think, at least in my books, you've done your job as a parent properly. As I've stated on here in discussions about other topics, my parents allowed me to make mistakes, and let the consequences speak for themselves. They knew I was smart enough to learn from my mistakes, and I think more parents need to have a little more faith in their kids to do the same.

Bingo
Jeff you'd be such a good parent. Seriously. Please have kids one day because you're gonna do it right.

We ground in the good stuff while our kids are still young and impressionable. Then they become teenagers and go nuts figuring out who they are. Then they come back around and come to their senses and all the good parenting we did kicks in and they become contributing citizens.

We aren't raising kids we are raising adults.

And this app is a mess. Of course I downloaded it. I hesitate to mandate anything about it yet because I downloaded it, didn't see much near me but then a gym near me put out a mandate and it exploded a short time later with people near me. Go figure. Forbidden fruit I guess.

I do reserve the right and support other gyms that ban things like this though. When you join a cheer gym you're joining a private club--like a country club. Their club, their rules.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

When you join a cheer gym you're joining a private club--like a country club. Their club, their rules.

Now this works. I think this puts it better than comparing it to a job. Good example.


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[Cheer Dad]

How many parents would have even known about this app had some bigger gyms not come out speaking against it? This is a case where them staying on too if stuff can benefit is as parents.


Please send more money

 

[GreenStormLucy]

I downloaded the app just to find out, if it is a thing over here and if my athletes are using it.
But i have to invite three friends first to see what my contacts eventually posted.
If my kids don't know about it now, i don't want them to find out.
Have to find some adults who are willing to create an account just so i can monitor ^^



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[quitthedrama]

My CP just fell victim to this app and she doesn't even use it. Someone said something not very nice about her. Someone screenshot it and sent it to her. Fortunately it wasnt horrible and she has a thick skin but it could be far worse for other kids. I think that is the worst feature of this app. Anyone can say anything about anybody whether the person being talked about is on the app or not. Whoever created this app is a disgusting POS poor excuse for a human being.

Proud supporter of the IBFC since 1997