All-Star Sensitive Subject (as A Coach)

[The Sixth]

I'm a firm believer in tough love. It's hard to say how much softiness is deserved without being personally involved. You know her better than anyone here, and you know best how the situation played out already. The fact that there were chances given to improve and it didn't happen says more about her not wanting to learn as opposed to you being too rash.

I'd think the most I would ever compromise is allow her to return as an alternate for injury only. It allows her to keep practicing, you to keep coaching her, and hopefully less negative tension from teammates. The root of this is just another chance, so again, depending on how much you gave her the first time would answer whether it's necessitated again.

 

[Tosh]

I see that I am alone on this one; maybe it is the mom in me. But over the years I have coached, I find that most of the girls that act out at practice (bullying, gossiping, etc) always have some personal issues going on at home and while you need to be tough and stand your ground, they are basically looking for someone to take them under their wings and show them that you care.
I had a similar situation (as best as I can make out from what was said) and the girls all hated her, but I can not impress upon you the change in her attitude with giving her the additional responsibility, as well as change in how the girls felt about her. She was captain the following year and now has a ring from her second year in college. I must tell you that since 8th grade this girl was an issue, finally in 11th grade we just could not take it and pulled her off the team; however kept her as a team manager.
I think even as coaches we must remember that there are instrumental life lessons we teach these girls besides actual skills. It could not hurt to give her a change and if she messes it up, then you know you have done all you can and maybe it is someone elses turn.

 

[KDub]

I agree with letting her back the following season but as an alternate for injuries only. This will make her work for her spot on the team and make her more aware of her actions. however if you and your other coaches feel like you made the right decision or she's not ready to come back then stick to your guns.

 

[Dj_Drew]

If you feel like she has the ability to change her attitude, you could put her on probation. She could practice with the team but actually isn't on the team until she proves that she can be a positive and productive team mate. And if she starts any drama than she's out. Make sure that you have a sit down conversation with her and her parents and let them know all of the facts.

 

[Mom2Cheergirls]

I like the face from Jersey All Stars show - "Hurt people hurt people" so something is up with the girl. BUT I think alternate would be the way to go make her earn a spot. I would also make a behavioral contract - perhaps for the whole team - that spells out your expectations on and off the mat for any CP and the consequences - but I am a big consequence person (my kids hate it).

 

[momsy]

If the warnings, probation and cut happened THIS (13/14) season, then I feel like you gave her ample opportunity to turn things around. She chose to continue causing trouble in spite of knowing the repercussions for doing so. (I'm totally assuming here that she's old enough to actually comprehend the warnings and repercussions you gave her.) Therefore, it is my opinion that she should be off the team and not given a special position within the gym until next season.

If the warnings, probation and cut happened LAST season, then I feel like she should be given a clean slate to try again for this season.

 

[12stepCheermom]

ok, so this is where my softie side comes out.


I have this girl, that i had to put on probation with the team, and then i kicked her off. She was starting drama with other flyers ( she wanted to be a flyer) making gossip and bla bla happen, everyone was tense. now since she has been gone practice is so smooth. BUT.... my problem , she still wants to be on the team, i dont want to bring her back, her skills are not an asset, neither is her attitude. BUT..... i feel like im giving up on a girl. and i hate that feeling. is there something that i could do with her? like a non team position i could give her? or am i being too much of a softie? has this happened to any of u other coaches?

I learned as a school principal a long time ago two things:

1) go with your gut
2) no good deed goes unpunished

The advice here is sound.


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[NJ Coach]

So, I think I need to share a little story. A few seasons ago, there was a kid who was causing some issues. The kid was removed from the team. The following season, kid was told they weren't allowed to tryout. Kid was still interested and begged to be allowed back. Midway through summer, kid was placed, probationally, on a team. Warned that removal from team would take place if behavior didn't improve. Kid was fine with it, and behaved. Cut to middle of the season, when kid was involved in a big issue. Kid, and entire family, thrown out of organization, never to be allowed back.

Moral of the story, you made the right decision removing the athlete the first time. You really don't want to have to make that decision again.

 

[xtremeteal4life]

You looking for an opinion from either a parent's point of view and/or athletes or from other coaches? I think there's a separate coaching only forum on here if you only want opinions from other coaches; if not I totally understand and would be happy to offer an opinion from a parents' point of view.

 

[SassyRachael]

You did the right thing for sure, a similar situation happened at my gym & everyone on the team felt so much better after this rude chick was removed from the team. You're very brave for doing what you did (it's probably not easy to explain that to someones parent) & I think it's very admirable that you protected the other girls who's feelings were probably hurt.
Hopefully this is a learning experience for the girl who was causing problems & for the rest of the athletes as well.

 

[stuntaholic]

As a coach I have experienced this situation. We had an athlete with an awful attitude and after speaking with him numerous times and him not making a correction we had to cut him from the team. The following season we allowed him to try out. He had absolutely no attitude problems and really progressed as a cheerleader. Now he is not a leader or anything but he truly wants to help his teammates and wants them to be the best they can be. So I think you made the right decision by removing the kid from the situation. Especially considering your practices have been better without the athlete there.

 

[Rhiley]

Simply state to her and her family that she's currently not welcome on the team for X reason, and she may try out again next season should she improve her attitude and be maturity-ready for it. This has happened to us before. If they really care about the sport, they'll be back.

 

[Nikaa]

Bring. Back. The. Theards.