All-Star Trying Not To Be That Parent

[cheerinatorXdad]

My guess is that temporary flyer was a "motivational" flyer as SheCheers said, or the coach was just trying to find out if it was, in fact, the flyer or her bases/backspot. You said you had learned that her parent pitched a fit and got her way, my question would be, "by whom?". There tend to be a handful of parents, at every function, whose conversations always begin with, "Well, I heard....", "Judy's mom told me.....", "A friend said she saw.....", "I overheard the coach saying....." Unless you saw and heard it for yourself, I wouldn't put too much faith in it.

It is early in the season and your coach will use this time to tweak the routine, passes, and stunts based on the feedback she receives from the judges. As an example, the judges may suggest more synchronized tumbling, and therefore your daughters pass would change. Coaches, also, find out how they rate on the difficulty scale compared to their competition. Without deductions, how was your teams overall score compared to the rest? If you all scored high on difficulty, she can water the routine down if they are struggling to "hit". If you all scored well (without deductions), she is probably going to work hard on those individuals that caused the deductions. I'd give it a couple more months before I'd confront the owner, especially with the "I learned" information. As you saw at that one practice, your coach can put a flyer in at a moments notice if she needs to for a competition. And last year, it could have been as simple as, she had noone to replacement her with. Noone flocks to a gym with losing teams, I'm sure the owner is watching. Hang in there!

catlady- you are correct. All of my information is second hand so I have to assume, which is dangerous, that its all accurate.

As for my daughter's pass. I'm fine with it. My only thought is, she's one of the stronger tumblers on the team so why not utilize her.

The coach is tweaking the whole routine pretty well. I have to wait and see if she makes the personnel changes too. I can think of two flyers from last years team, that are on a lower level team, that could step right in and do this.

 

[cheerinatorXdad]

I definitely wouldn't bring up the tumble pass. My daughter is the best tumbler on the team. (There is one other girl who is probably right where she is at and a few close seconds but not many)

I'm not going to lie I was disappointed to learn my daughter was not last pass. She doesn't even have a difficult pass.

She is working fulls right now and her tumbling pass is a FWO, RO, BHS.

Our team is almost all synchro tumbling. Even last pass is a synchro pass. I think only 2 passes in running tumbling are not synced. My daughter and one other girl (we had squad tumbling but one girl has a block so now her partner goes by herself) so my cp and the other girl are the only two passes that aren't synced.

Come to find out they tried putting my daughter in about three different groups throughout the summer where the passes were a lot difficult but my daughter does slower Fwo's then most but can out BHS every single person as far as speed.

So my daughter got stuck by herself. Since there are a lot of girls going at one time and two girls that cross center like one second after she does she tumbles center back to front because she can do it that way because she is fast.

So complaining about a pass is trivial. They could legit give my cp the hardest pass where she could tumble last from one corner to the other corner and then tumble right back to the pyramid. As awesome as that sounds it would not be about the team it would be about my daughter.

So I realized it was dumb to be mad and even though my daughter has more skills that are higher level she still in essence may not be the strongest level 2 tumbler. So I just tell her to do a fierce hair whip and snap since she is front center when she lands! Lol

I will say if you don't trust the coaching decisions then maybe you would be happier elsewhere. I'm sure that has happened as I have seen moms do it to teams my daughter has been on. I certainly hope it gets better for you and works itself out!! Let us know how it goes!

Kris- yeah, the pass is not the big concern. She's in top 1/3 of tumblers on team so why not user her. She's not the last pass and I'm OK with that.
The pyramid piece is my main worry.

 

[cheerinatorXdad]

Your're right. There's another gym in town we could go to easily. Other parents on the team are PO'd too.

 

[CheerBank]

Banish them all to the BLC! Banish

Nobody puts Susie in the BLC...

 

[Mamarazzi]

CheerinatorXdad , word of advice that is the absolute Golden Rule at our gym - feel free to discusss the issues you have that are about your child. But don't bother requesting a meeting with the coaches about someone else's child. They flat refuse to discuss it.
A better way to approach this may be to request a meeting to find out what your cp needs to work on, skills-wise. That way you're not complaining about Falls-a-lot and you're not questioning their decisions about your cp. When they say "Oh, she's doing great!" You can follow it with "That's awesome to hear! She was pretty upset about the changes in the routine and just wanted to make sure she was doing everything she needed to do to get her pass back."
Keep it positive and that might spur some conversation. You really can't make any decisions about another child on the team, or where that child should be placed in the routine.

 

[cheerinatorXdad]

CheerinatorXdad , word of advice that is the absolute Golden Rule at our gym - feel free to discusss the issues you have that are about your child. But don't bother requesting a meeting with the coaches about someone else's child. They flat refuse to discuss it.
A better way to approach this may be to request a meeting to find out what your cp needs to work on, skills-wise. That way you're not complaining about Falls-a-lot and you're not questioning their decisions about your cp. When they say "Oh, she's doing great!" You can follow it with "That's awesome to hear! She was pretty upset about the changes in the routine and just wanted to make sure she was doing everything she needed to do to get her pass back."
Keep it positive and that might spur some conversation. You really can't make any decisions about another child on the team, or where that child should be placed in the routine.

I agree. I've always believed you "catch more flies with honey"as the saying goes. My daughters pass is not the main concern but it might spur some conversation about the other. I'm torn in approaching the coach or even the gym owner or having some trust that they'll "get it right".

 

[Mamarazzi]

My daughters pass is not the main concern but it might spur some conversation about the other. I'm torn in approaching the coach or even the gym owner or having some trust that they'll "get it right".

Dad, I'm saying. Worry about your OWN kid. Not someone else's. I doubt very seriously that Suzie Flyer will make your child hate cheer for life. There's a lesson in this for both of you. Try to find it.

 

[mommadonna]

It's early in the season yet. Just hang on, and hopefully everything will work out just fine. I posted in the parents' forum regarding "Suzie's Moms", and I'll say it here too. With all the money, time, and sacrifices made for cheer, it's hard sometimes not to be crazy...especially when your CP ends up disappointed or is affected by a decision that doesn't seem to make any sense. I'm not making excuses for "Suzie's Mom" here, but I'm just saying that after things calm down a bit, I'll bet the situation improves. I really hope things turn out for the best! One concern here that I have here is this: How does the kid feel about flying? I wonder if anyone has asked her. If she really wants to do it, and she's really committed to putting in the effort necessary to be successful in the position, that's one thing, but if it's the mom who is forcing her to do it, that is another situation all together. I don't know if you'll ever know the answer to this question, and it might not even matter that you know, but I'm just wondering about the best interested of the child involved...and if this is being factored in. It would be sad for her, too, to have all the fun sucked out of her cheer experience due to an overzealous mom. I dunno...it just seemed like the thing that's been left out of the conversation so far. Anyway, I hope it all works out! Like I said, just hang on!!!

 

[MakeYourMark]

sometimes in not the flyers fault, nor the bases but a combination of the 2. They may just not work that well together. That being said, if they are the ONLY group having issues, as a coach, I would not separate that group as it would affect o1 or 2 other groups and they we would have 3 weaker groups.

Now, talking about being "replaced" as a coach, that is SO hard to do and heartbreaking. Luckily I haven't had to do it ever. But what also factors in is what lvl we're talking about here. If its a worlds team, taking the girl off the team would absolutely need to be considered. If not, especially if its a younger age group, this would be unnecessary. Maybe this group needs to just get in the gym more. Take a solid 30 minutes to work on their stunt before practice to get more reps in. To me, there is always a solution available that doesn't involve much pain. Replacement would be very painful to that poor girl.