High School Urgent Advice Needed

[Official OWECheer]

I have a feeling it's not pretty when her teachers has something to say...

Same. If she is that delinquent on homework, I have a feeling that she won't finish out the season.

 

[KPep]

Same. If she is that delinquent on homework, I have a feeling that she won't finish out the season.

I was talking about the mother, mostly.

 

[notyourcheermom]

Thank you for the advice guys! She ended up competing but her mother is not happy with me.
She does appreciate the "patronizing guilt trip" about a parenting decision.

She said its sad that one person can ruin something for the whole team. That simply isnt true - ruined isnt the correct word. Its just that they would suffer and be stressed out. Its actually a compliment because her daughter is such a great cheerleader.

Unfortunately, because she was allowed to compete yesterday she is pulling her from the next competition as a punishment but luckily we have 2 weeks until the next comp. Still stressful and wrong but it gives me breathing room.

Still would tell her mother that you understand, but understand once you rework the routine, you won't need to rework her daughter back in. If you let her use the team as punishment, others will try, too.

 

[Official OWECheer]

I was talking about the mother, mostly.

What do you mean?

 

[Cheerfun2]

Even though I would never use a team sport as punishment...I do have to give the mom props for finding her cp's currency and following through on her punishment by pulling her from the next comp. Some kids are compliant and never need punishment to be this hardcore....and some need a little lesson. I know, I have one compliant kid and one strong-willed kid. The compliant one would never get to the point where he needed a punishment this drastic, of course he isn't perfect and screws up occasionally, but there isn't this constant need to test us. He genuinely prefers to be a rule follower and avoid consequences. The other? Eh, she was born testing the boundaries. A kid like that NEEDS to feel the sting of consequences. Again, I wouldn't choose that particular punishment, but boy...it would sure work!! My cp would DIE. I can also understand her comment about making her feel guilty cc her parenting decision. Again, she put you in a horrible position, but it does sound like she is trying to impart a serious lesson to her cp. And she did let her compete. Hopefully her cp will learn a HUGE lesson from this!

Anyway, glad it worked out yesterday, OP!

 

[Mom2Cheergirls]

Thank you for the advice guys! She ended up competing but her mother is not happy with me.
She does appreciate the "patronizing guilt trip" about a parenting decision.

She said its sad that one person can ruin something for the whole team. That simply isnt true - ruined isnt the correct word. Its just that they would suffer and be stressed out. Its actually a compliment because her daughter is such a great cheerleader.

Unfortunately, because she was allowed to compete yesterday she is pulling her from the next competition as a punishment but luckily we have 2 weeks until the next comp. Still stressful and wrong but it gives me breathing room.

Then mom needs to know that her daughter is not following her commitment to the team and therefore will be done for the season.

 

[AliciaM]

I agree with what others have said. She may be an awesome athlete but I'd pull her for the season. Not sure how many competitions you have being a HS team but if this mom is taking her out this time who is to say she won't do it again if her daughter does something else she doesn't like. I highly dislike when parents do stuff like that. I guess it's different with high school cheer but still..

 

[Cheer Dad]

I never ran into this as a cheer coach but did in other sport I was involved in. I was fortunate enough to have parents that would talk to me well in advance so that I could prepare for and also support their decision. It is not fair to anyone for that parent to not
communicate with the coaches ahead of time.

Being school cheer The athletes need to maintain a minimum grade to be able to participate? I think I would plan on not having that girl for the remainder of the season


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[CheerItFullOut]

Thank you for the advice guys! She ended up competing but her mother is not happy with me.
She does appreciate the "patronizing guilt trip" about a parenting decision.

She said its sad that one person can ruin something for the whole team. That simply isnt true - ruined isnt the correct word. Its just that they would suffer and be stressed out. Its actually a compliment because her daughter is such a great cheerleader.

Unfortunately, because she was allowed to compete yesterday she is pulling her from the next competition as a punishment but luckily we have 2 weeks until the next comp. Still stressful and wrong but it gives me breathing room.

What I don't understand is why use Cheer as a weapon when it's constructive?! Take away the Netflix and the weekend fun with friends... Or maybe limit cell phone use. I can appreciate her wanting to stick to her word... But Cheer has so much Character building, especially the competitive aspect
I'm not the parent, so who am I to say how a anyone should specifically discipline their particular child... But I just feel comittements to team participation should always be honored.
In the mothers defense I guess this IS a lesson to teach her daughter... YOUR personal decisions don't always affect YOU... There are other people that end up being impacted by your specific actions that you might not realize. (Team mates, coaches, friends, family...etc)

 

[Mom2Cheergirls]

Then mom needs to know that her daughter is not following her commitment to the team and therefore will be done for the season.

Oh and that totally doesn't mean she should let her child get away without following her school commitment for math - but forcing her to not uphold another commitment is not a proper punishment or teaching of following through on what you say you will do as this family committed to the team. There are plenty of other punishments and reinforcements that they could use.

 

[SparkleSpankies]

If it makes you feel better, 2 weeks ago I got this:

Coach ________

I just wanted to inform you that ____________ will not be attending cheer practice tomorrow 10/14 nor Friday's away game (if required) because of parental disciplinary actions by my wife and I. We have a situation that urgently needs to be dealt with so that ___________ doesn't take it for granted that we're serious in our household rules. If you're a parent, I'm sure you'll understand.

We expect that Adrianna will be back in attendance this Saturday. Please contact us if you have any questions regarding this matter...me _____________Monica __________

Sorry to inconvenience you and the team. And prayfully, ___________ will return to practice with the proper mindset and discipline required to succeed at home, in school and with the team.

Respectfully,

__________________

 

[Tealxblack25]

We have practice tomorrow, we will see if she is there. If she is there I will be happy.. but I will be confused.

 

[Tosh]

Late coming to the party but just had to add my 2 cents.....This is something that is very common especially at the rec and even HS level of cheer. This is parenting 101 regardless of what sport the child participates in....as a parent and coach, this was really hard for me because while I understand the impact that missing practice or a comp can have on a squad, I've come sooooooo close to pulling the same stunt. It is very hard to find something to use as discipline when the only thing that matters is cheer. Many cheerleaders understand the importance of their roll on the squad and will use it as an excuse to get away with murder because the coach will step in and mom/dad will have to let me. It was a hard lesson to learn, but as a coach I will have that spot filled so fast. Use one of my more experienced cheerleaders to fill the pivotal spot and someone less experienced or even pull someone up for JV/MS to fill in on the simpler position. Though it is for a competition, I will let the judges know that you have a last minute substitution and that individual will only be assisting with the stunting of the pyramids. If you have 2 elite stunts that hit with an absent member, you scored should not change, so no dancing, no elite/partner stunting, no tumbling, just making sure the pyramids go up. And I promise you, once that cheerleader see that you can do okay without them especially on short notice, they will never let it happen again, especially if they care about their squad and cheering. If they don't, now you have some time to fill the position permanently.
Good luck with the rest of your season and less stressing

 

[Official OWECheer]

Threads like this are the part of the reason as to why it is so important to make sure that parents understand the team contract prior to the beginning of the season (not saying that OP didn't do that)! I think it would make @Tealxblack25 's life so much easier if she could just remove the girl from the roster, but I fear what the mom's reaction would be.

 

[quitthedrama]

Threads like this are the part of the reason as to why it is so important to make sure that parents understand the team contract prior to the beginning of the season (not saying that OP didn't do that)! I think it would make @Tealxblack25 's life so much easier if she could just remove the girl from the roster, but I fear what the mom's reaction would be.

I don't know how you could possibly uphold a "contract" at the high school level. There is no AD or Principal in my area that is going to tell a parent that their kid HAS to cheer even though they have blown off homework or are doing poorly in school because they signed a contract at the beginning of the season.