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new record: "I'm going on the Today show!!"
 
"God I love myself, I am so amazing! I cant wait to grow old with myself and my 33 cats." -me
 
OMG I LOVE THIS THREAD! Okay I'm going to list my top 3:
1. Dear alarm clock, I am sorry I hit you this morning. I have anger issues. We need counseling. No wait, it's you, not me. Wake me up again, I BRING HAMMERS.
2. Dear tounge, can't touch this! From, elbow :)
3. Say "beer can" with a British accent. I just taught you how to say "bacon" in Jamaican. Your welcome.


I can lick my elbow :p
 

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