Confused And Stressed???

[CheerMom192816]

Help, I don't know what to do! My cp is in her 3rd year she is 10. She started with barely a walk-over and is now level 4. This was a lot of hard work and lots of gym time - but she is very passionate about the sport. This season has been a rocky start, she is only about 75 pounds and the bases are between 13 - 14 yrs. and complain that she is too heavy to lift, the smallest flyer is about 40 pounds. Now she has body image issues. She is very flexible and you wouldn't guess she is a flyer by her build (she is short and stocky) but she is strong and solid. But she was just replaced as her center flyer spot she held for over a year to a flyer that has very little experience. The reason the coach told her was the other flyer is taller, and "its the best decision for the team" but they put my daughter who is 4" shorter under her to base. I wouldn't have a problem with her being a base except she wasn't replace by a better flyer or because my daughter can't handle her position - since its a small gym we found out the real reason: the new flyer was my daughter's back spot and one day coming down my daughter's butt hit her face and the her mom went ballistic in the parent room stating that she is too small to base and she can only fly if she is going to be on this team. And then proceeded to lecture the coach. The next thing I know my child is basing this flyer. I feel like this is the last straw - Parents should not set policy and coaches should not lie to the cheerleaders?? My daughter knows the truth. I offered to put her in a large gym with a solid reputation that I think would help advance her skills, and where spots are given by skill and not politics. But she loves some of her teammates and is scarred she will not be noticed in the new gym. Any help and advice is truly welcomed.....

 

[notimeforthat]

Any first bit of advice is to wait a 24 hour cool down period.
During that 24 hours please read some threads on this board that have a very similar scenario.... You will see that this is a very common occurance and lots of advice has been given over the years.
Take comfort that plenty have been in your shoes before!
Get back to us after you have had a few hours of reading lol

 

[ilikebigbows]

I think she should stick it out...things usually end up working out for the best! It definitely sucks that that happened and unfortunately politics are a part of cheerleading. I would be really really upset too. However she has already made her commitment to her team and has good friends on it, and it would suck even more for them if you were to leave and throw them under the bus. She is young and has many more years to cheer! So stick it out for this season, and if at the end of the season you still want to switch gyms, the beginning of the summer/tryout time is the best time to do it.

 

[Keep_Believing]

Help, I don't know what to do! I offered to put her in a large gym with a solid reputation that I think would help advance her skills, and where spots are given by skill and not politics. But she loves some of her teammates and is scarred she will not be noticed in the new gym. Any help and advice is truly welcomed.....

It is important to be at a gym where Coaches are honest, upfront, have good communication skills, and make the best decisions for the team. I would completely understand changing gyms for that reason. Just know that going to a big gym will not guarantee your CP will be a flyer. They only need one flyer for every 4 girls. Many girls that start out as flyers eventually end up being moved to be a base.

 

[CheerMom192816]

It is important to be at a gym where Coaches are honest, upfront, have good communication skills, and make the best decisions for the team. I would completely understand changing gyms for that reason. Just know that going to a big gym will not guarantee your CP will be a flyer. They only need one flyer for every 4 girls. Many girls that start out as flyers eventually end up being moved to be a base.

I don't expect her to be a flyer, nor does she think she will be a flyer. She prides herself on being an all around cheerleader - tumbler, baser and flyer. It's not because they took her spot away that is the problem, its that they took it away because of a mother complaint that her cp was butt slapped! It's not like it was an elbow or a poke in the eye. Not to mention that she is such an inexperienced flyer - all summer they have been working on full-up my daughter can hit it first time out - the new flyer still needs coaches assistance and we are weeks away from competition.

 

[amy1k]

Is it possible that they are giving this mother a chance to see that it's not as easy as just putting Susie in the air? Maybe her Susie is better at learning these lessons hands on?

 

[Keep_Believing]

I don't expect her to be a flyer, nor does she think she will be a flyer. She prides herself on being an all around cheerleader - tumbler, baser and flyer. It's not because they took her spot away that is the problem, its that they took it away because of a mother complaint that her cp was butt slapped! It's not like it was an elbow or a poke in the eye. Not to mention that she is such an inexperienced flyer - all summer they have been working on full-up my daughter can hit it first time out - the new flyer still needs coaches assistance and we are weeks away from competition.

That is understandable. Do you feel you can finish the season and move to a different gym next season?

 

[Fierce_Elite]

1. The first thing to understand about cheer, we have our politics too. They're some pretty harsh ones, but we do have them.

2. Moving to a big gym, doesn't help any of your problems. If she moves to a big gym, more then likely she's more then likely going to be a base with either come out of the situation.

3. After a day or two, you need to request a meeting with the coach and parent who stated what happened both in the room,, along with the director of the program. Rationally discuss your issues and be honest about everything.

4. Never switch gyms in the middle of the season unless it's truly needed. Drama happens at all the time. It's even worse at a big time gym. You will be putting your self Into a horrible position if you moved gyms and your daughter suddenly took the spot of another girl who has been on that team for years and held their spot. Same story, just vise versa and it would not come out very well.

5. You have every right to be upset. However, keep the talk about this situation to the other parents limited. Rumors will get started and feelings will get hurt by parents who like to flip scripts.

6, you're right. Coaches should make the decision and not the parents. But have you thought that maybe once it was brought up to the coach by a parent that the coach probably did make the decision that was best for the team? Or do you truly believe that the parent is crazy and she only went to the coach to get her child a spot and the coach was playing favoritism?


7. Wait until the end of the season to make any big moves. It's going to hurt the entire team if your child leaves routine wise. Not just you and your CP

8. Unless things get extreme as said before, you should just have a meeting and if nothing chances, just ignore the mother and the situation and support the team. Never hold anything against that child that too your daughters spot!!!!

 

[SparkleSpankies]

I think you need to do what is best for you and your daughter. I do not think it is wise to just "jump ship" without doing some shopping. It doesn't hurt to see if there are any programs that may be a better fit overall and it can be something to switch to now, strive for, or look forward to for the next season. If you can avoid leaving mid-season, I think that is best, but if you feel this is not the best environment for your daughter as a parent, you need to make the decision and stand your ground. Make sure you speak to the staff of your current gym, and maybe the conversation will help you and your daughter feel better, maybe it will solidify your reasons for deciding this is not the gym for you.

Do not make a hasty decision. Cool off. The grass is not always greener.

 

[Fierce_Elite]

I think you need to do what is best for you and your daughter. I do not think it is wise to just "jump ship" without doing some shopping. It doesn't hurt to see if there are any programs that may be a better fit overall and it can be something to strive for or lok forward to for the next season. If you can avoid leaving mid-season, I think that is best, but if you feel this is not the best environment for your daughter as a parent, you need to make the decision and stand your ground. Make sure you speak to the staff of your current gym, and maybe the conversation will help you and your daughter feel better, maybe it will solidify your reasons for deciding this is not the gym for you.

Do not make a hasty decision. Cool off. The grass is not always greener.

Absolutely right! Many people think that just because they're moving to a bigger gym, it's going to be better. In my opinion, it's worse. More parent/CP's equals more drama in my opinion.

To me, at smaller gyms, your opinions can at least be heard and SOMETIMES the drama is limited. Your opinion with the staff is more likely to be heard.

 

[crazzyeyesassypants]

Help, I don't know what to do! My cp is in her 3rd year she is 10. She started with barely a walk-over and is now level 4. This was a lot of hard work and lots of gym time - but she is very passionate about the sport. This season has been a rocky start, she is only about 75 pounds and the bases are between 13 - 14 yrs. and complain that she is too heavy to lift, the smallest flyer is about 40 pounds. Now she has body image issues. She is very flexible and you wouldn't guess she is a flyer by her build (she is short and stocky) but she is strong and solid. But she was just replaced as her center flyer spot she held for over a year to a flyer that has very little experience. The reason the coach told her was the other flyer is taller, and "its the best decision for the team" but they put my daughter who is 4" shorter under her to base. I wouldn't have a problem with her being a base except she wasn't replace by a better flyer or because my daughter can't handle her position - since its a small gym we found out the real reason: the new flyer was my daughter's back spot and one day coming down my daughter's butt hit her face and the her mom went ballistic in the parent room stating that she is too small to base and she can only fly if she is going to be on this team. And then proceeded to lecture the coach. The next thing I know my child is basing this flyer. I feel like this is the last straw - Parents should not set policy and coaches should not lie to the cheerleaders?? My daughter knows the truth. I offered to put her in a large gym with a solid reputation that I think would help advance her skills, and where spots are given by skill and not politics. But she loves some of her teammates and is scarred she will not be noticed in the new gym. Any help and advice is truly welcomed.....

I think you should talk to the coach, people tend to gossip so I wouldn't Necessarily believe what you heard unless you heard the mom complain yourself, don't go to a new gym without talking to the coach or the cheer director.

 

[JMW]

In addition to some of the great advice you have already gotten, I want to say that there's nothing wrong with being a base. Why do you consider it a step down? (I know those weren't your words, but I doubt you would have complained if she had been replaced as a base, and made to be a flyer instead.)

 

[FlexyTumblerMom]

Gosh - I'm sorry. If the owner made the change exclusively because of that mom's outburst, that's just wrong. Hopefully things work themselves out.

 

[quitthedrama]

I offered to put her in a large gym with a solid reputation that I think would help advance her skills, and where spots are given by skill and not politics. But she loves some of her teammates and is scarred she will not be noticed in the new gym. Any help and advice is truly welcomed.....

This speaks volumes. I think your CP would be happiest at the gym she is at now.

 

[Fierce_Elite]

In addition to some of the great advice you have already gotten, I want to say that there's nothing wrong with being a base. Why do you consider it a step down? (I know those weren't your words, but I doubt you would have complained if she had been replaced as a base, and made to be a flyer instead.)

I think being a base is awesome!! Bases are often times looked down upon. But really in truly, bases are the reasons stunts goes up and looks so good. They need shine more. It takes an extreme amount of talent and strength lift someone up in the air and toss them as high as they're allowed to go.