Extremely Torn About Choices....

[MzLyn23]

I'm so torn up about a recent choice I made regarding cheer. My CP is going on 11 yrs old, she's been cheering for a recreation team for 4 years. Problem was that I was her coach for these 4 years and had been practically placed as Head Coach. Because its a town program, there is a lot of politics involved and power tug of war. After a recent event that made me open my eyes to all the shinanigans going on around me, I resigned from my position as head coach. Although I resigned, I informed my daughter and told her she could still cheer and that I would support her whole heartedly. She refused to cheer for the rec team, she said herself "I'm over the drama". So I went on my search for an all star team (Mind you it was already end of August and most teams already had done choreography). Well I found a team, she seems happy. Now I'm the one that is "depressed" lol... I miss every ounce of cheer. I like being a cheer mom because it is relaxing but I miss being involved teaching girls, improving their techniques, working on tumbling, etc. I refuse to go back to the town team because they are now upset with me because many girls have quit once I resigned (fear that the program wouldn't be the same is one rumor, that i "took" girls to my daughter's new all star team - which they just followed and i warned that them joining the same team would cause rumors and drama - is the other "issue"). I just don't know what to do... I even offered the town team, that I didn't want to be Head Coach, but if they needed help coaching, teaching, routine, tumbling, etc, I would happily help but thats out the window especially in the last few days with all the rumors and trash talking etc.
Now I have a 9-5 job and have wonderful time with my family and kids (which didn't previsouly exist in cheer, if you're in it, you're in it). But I'm missing the Coaching aspect of everything... I don't know what to do, what my options are.... I'm just blah!!! :-(

 

[retiredl5cheer]

If I were you I would take a year off to focus on my daughter and get used to the all star way. Later this season ask your new all star gym about coaching opportunities for next year.

 

[driverto6]

If I were you I would take a year off to focus on my daughter and get used to the all star way. Later this season ask your new all star gym about coaching opportunities for next year.

I agree...give yourself some time off. I know it seems hard right now, but given time you will probably find something that you enjoy doing with all of your new free time!! Change is hard for everyone, especially after a long time being involved in an activity...but hopefully you will find yourself enjoying your freedom!!

 

[mamabear]

I know how you feel . We just left our rec team this season. I was asst coach and on the Board and my cp was with them for three years. The amount of time that I spent on cheer consumed us. Our away games where a minimum of an hour away and we usually would stay for the entire day. I helped plan the community and social events and that also took a lot of time.

My cp also did all stars for the past two years making it even more complicated. She was the one who chose to leave rec (even though her team was great and a sure contender for a national title). She is definitely more of an AS cheerleader, but I was shocked. I was really worried about how it would affect both of us this fall, when there was a gaping hole in our social life.

Now, it looking back on all these fears, I realize how silly it is. Truth is that I am LOVING the free time. We are enjoying a non football fall and had an extra month during the summer to explore and enjoy. CP still is at the gym nearly every day, but it feels different, since only three of the days are mandatory. If we want to do something else on the other days, it is ok

I do miss the girls and most of the parents, but I do not miss the petty BS that comes with coaching especially with rec.

So, anyway, I would suggest focusing solely on your own child for a season. Enjoy it with her! There are so many cool things about AS that rec does not have. Enjoy it and learn the ropes. At one point last season, I realized that I was a nicer coach than a mom at times, but I never gave my cp that same attention and kindness that I gave the others. Now it is all about her, and we are closer than ever. Fill your free time with adventures. They will only be this young once. At the end of the season, if you still miss coaching , maybe try finding another team or school opportunity. My guess is that you might enjoy AS so much that you will want to do that.

 

[HeyMom]

Take the time off and just be a cheer mom Enjoy your CP's journey. It goes by in the blink of an eye so soak up as much as you can.

 

[Official OWECheer]

For the moms that have coached/done/had their kids in rec cheer, what types of "shenanigans" go on? I've heard that rec cheer has a lot of drama.

 

[cheer25mom]

There isn't an organized chain of command like all star, the line between parent and coach is blurred, and most parent volunteer coaches aren't trained. Moms can more easily manipulate coaches who are friends as well.

 

[FTSP]

For the moms that have coached/done/had their kids in rec cheer, what types of "shenanigans" go on? I've heard that rec cheer has a lot of drama.

Moms causing drama because they don't like the head coach. Lots of politics. So not worth it. Lol

 

[KDCheerMom]

If you really want to do something maybe check with you local park district. May you could teach a class.


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[MzLyn23]

Shenanigans include town politics (especially election years).... parents that don't cooperate or girls that don't help with fundraising and expect a free ride to comps not covered by the town, constant changes in location or times because many depend on the board of ed for access to school gyms etc. No matter how organized a coach is or how much they want to improve the program (me) something or everything is getting shot down, talented athletes that can't afford to go to an all star team to then be treated unfairly by others that I will refer to as "haterz" lol. And a hundred more things.... one of my biggest reasons for leaving is being treated like something less but only respected when things needed to get done. They love u and respect u when its beneficial I pretty much did everything and coached but you can't coach what u have no say in.

 

[MzLyn23]

I wanted to add something that happened this past weekend that had a profound affect on me.... may seem silly but I think it was very eye opening or somewhat of an epiphany.... my cp's gym recently moved to a larger facility and parents along with cheerleaders helped with the move... we took the spring floor apart piece by piece and then put it together piece by piece.... once the mats were in place girls were allowed to tumble stunt and have fun.... as I sat on that mat (possibly the only parent who did) I got this emotional feeling... I felt "Home"... I was even able to stunt which I did with another parent, stunted my cp, helped her tumble and even worked on her flyer skills (showing me her stunt, where she's having trouble and so on.... of course me giving her pointers and everything).... well after a while (although I didn't let any of it show at the gym) I kept getting emotional inside... yes it was great to help my cp but I was watching her friend (one of my former cheerleaders) and gave her pointers. Comes up to me out of habit "hey coach what about this" and so on.... watching the other girls and in my head thinking of corrections etc... it just felt right, it felt like that's where I belong... I felt just "home"... it wasn't about the gym or the team... it was about that mat, that blue mat makes my heart skip a beat, that blue mat is not just a blue mat to me anymore.... I get home and told my husband and I actually cried, not of sadness or anger or anything depressing lol but just a few tears of I guess joy because I felt something... my words to my husband was simply this: "I felt like any doubt I had about myself and where I belong was finally answered. Some people just feel at home working in an office, or hospital, or even teaching (which is what I was finishing my degree in)... Yes I love the idea of teaching and getting my degree and teaching history (yea I'm dorky) but its not the same feeling or joy I felt t today. My heart raced putting that last panel down. My heart skipped as I jumped around on it with my cp making fun of my horrible jumps (yes their bad lol) but omg it was just.... just felt right... this is where I belong, this is what I need to do with my life.....
His response: I'm so happy that you finally see what I've been seeing for 5 years... I've always known that cheer is your home, I just think you were doubting yourself because of all the drama surrounding you.... I'm here to help you achieve your dream and if its cheer I'm all for it......
I love him!!! Lol but now I know, someway somehow not right away cause I know it will take time, I will start my own program and hopefully make it grow so that if my daughter grows and decides she wants to stay in cheer too she will have something to fall back on (But she's going to college first!!! Lol)

 

[mamabear]

I wanted to add something that happened this past weekend that had a profound affect on me.... may seem silly but I think it was very eye opening or somewhat of an epiphany.... my cp's gym recently moved to a larger facility and parents along with cheerleaders helped with the move... we took the spring floor apart piece by piece and then put it together piece by piece.... once the mats were in place girls were allowed to tumble stunt and have fun.... as I sat on that mat (possibly the only parent who did) I got this emotional feeling... I felt "Home"... I was even able to stunt which I did with another parent, stunted my cp, helped her tumble and even worked on her flyer skills (showing me her stunt, where she's having trouble and so on.... of course me giving her pointers and everything).... well after a while (although I didn't let any of it show at the gym) I kept getting emotional inside... yes it was great to help my cp but I was watching her friend (one of my former cheerleaders) and gave her pointers. Comes up to me out of habit "hey coach what about this" and so on.... watching the other girls and in my head thinking of corrections etc... it just felt right, it felt like that's where I belong... I felt just "home"... it wasn't about the gym or the team... it was about that mat, that blue mat makes my heart skip a beat, that blue mat is not just a blue mat to me anymore.... I get home and told my husband and I actually cried, not of sadness or anger or anything depressing lol but just a few tears of I guess joy because I felt something... my words to my husband was simply this: "I felt like any doubt I had about myself and where I belong was finally answered. Some people just feel at home working in an office, or hospital, or even teaching (which is what I was finishing my degree in)... Yes I love the idea of teaching and getting my degree and teaching history (yea I'm dorky) but its not the same feeling or joy I felt t today. My heart raced putting that last panel down. My heart skipped as I jumped around on it with my cp making fun of my horrible jumps (yes their bad lol) but omg it was just.... just felt right... this is where I belong, this is what I need to do with my life.....
His response: I'm so happy that you finally see what I've been seeing for 5 years... I've always known that cheer is your home, I just think you were doubting yourself because of all the drama surrounding you.... I'm here to help you achieve your dream and if its cheer I'm all for it......
I love him!!! Lol but now I know, someway somehow not right away cause I know it will take time, I will start my own program and hopefully make it grow so that if my daughter grows and decides she wants to stay in cheer too she will have something to fall back on (But she's going to college first!!! Lol)

:kiss: so happy for you!

 

[MzLyn23]

:kiss: so happy for you!

Thanks you!! ;-)