All-Star For The Parents - What Coaches Want

[CoachC2]

I would certainly hope you would recommend to Susie that she discuss this with the coach before you decide that you need to say something. Not trying to be rude in any way, but that's one of those things that it's not our job, as parents, to notice or to address.

Sounds like a perfect memo that may need to be put out :)

I tell the parents at every parent meeting that if they have any issues or concerns to please contact me or pull me aside at the end of practice along with the kids. The kids are good about coming to me with issues and we see what we can do about it. I also tell them when it comes time for competition that they can talk to me during the competition but when it gets down to the 2hrs til they compete I'm doing hair makeup and trying to make sure everyone has their uniform perfect so I don't have time to talk unless its almost heart attack important otherwise it can wait til later that day. Sometimes theres just those parents that don't ever listen and never want to. :/

 

[CoachC2]

lol no idea what just happened with the reply thread

 

[Mamarazzi]

Really?....that's sad

I don't feel the least bit sad about it. For one, my cp needs to learn to step up and say something directly to the people who can fix it (coaches) rather than to me. My child has issues with this, so I've been in that situation and I understand that this is a personal life skill she has to learn. And two, the coaches should be observing each stunt group to see where potential issues are. That's part of their job. For me to say anything, I'm basically saying "you're not doing your job thoroughly, and Susie says you could do it better by..."
And @CoachC2 , if you're coaching, why are you doing hair/makeup? That's the parent or athletes job to be prepared, IMO.

 

[CoachC2]

I don't feel the least bit sad about it. For one, my cp needs to learn to step up and say something directly to the people who can fix it (coaches) rather than to me. My child has issues with this, so I've been in that situation and I understand that this is a personal life skill she has to learn. And two, the coaches should be observing each stunt group to see where potential issues are. That's part of their job. For me to say anything, I'm basically saying "you're not doing your job thoroughly, and Susie says you could do it better by..."
And @CoachC2 , if you're coaching, why are you doing hair/makeup? That's the parent or athletes job to be prepared, IMO.

I do the hair if we are doing something tricky to make sure everyone is looking the same but ifs its just a simple ponytail then they do it themselves. I put their bows in because a lot of them won't have them facing properly if I don't. Make-up I always do designs to match their themes and not alot of the kids can do them themselves. Sometimes its just easier to do it myself then have to fix it later on. I've had points taken off before for hair and make-up not matching so idk I have OCD now about every detail looking perfect lol

 

[mommy2mygirls]

I don't feel the least bit sad about it. For one, my cp needs to learn to step up and say something directly to the people who can fix it (coaches) rather than to me. My child has issues with this, so I've been in that situation and I understand that this is a personal life skill she has to learn. And two, the coaches should be observing each stunt group to see where potential issues are. That's part of their job. For me to say anything, I'm basically saying "you're not doing your job thoroughly, and Susie says you could do it better by..."
And @CoachC2 , if you're coaching, why are you doing hair/makeup? That's the parent or athletes job to be prepared, IMO.

I agree...cp needs to learn to step up and say something -- part of that learning process is to be part of the conversation when a parent says something and learn that nothing bad happens because of saying something.
Coaches can't be everywhere all the time -- I would HOPE they would be ok with information that might help things out and not take it in that way. It takes a village and all that... I work very hard at my job and have a million things going on all the time -- sometimes things fall through the cracks because I am focusing on something else -- I would much rather have someone say something preventative to help me fix it instead of sitting by and watching it fall through the cracks and talking about it behind my back saying how it could've been fixed.....

 

[KRECCheer]

I don't feel the least bit sad about it. For one, my cp needs to learn to step up and say something directly to the people who can fix it (coaches) rather than to me. My child has issues with this, so I've been in that situation and I understand that this is a personal life skill she has to learn. And two, the coaches should be observing each stunt group to see where potential issues are. That's part of their job. For me to say anything, I'm basically saying "you're not doing your job thoroughly, and Susie says you could do it better by..."
And @CoachC2 , if you're coaching, why are you doing hair/makeup? That's the parent or athletes job to be prepared, IMO.

Thank you! I'll admit, it took me a long time to start making some really easy phone calls with out my mother and father. Cant help it, I was shy. This is a good life skill to learn.

 

[Mamarazzi]

I agree...cp needs to learn to step up and say something -- part of that learning process is to be part of the conversation when a parent says something and learn that nothing bad happens because of saying something.
Coaches can't be everywhere all the time -- I would HOPE they would be ok with information that might help things out and not take it in that way. It takes a village and all that... I work very hard at my job and have a million things going on all the time -- sometimes things fall through the cracks because I am focusing on something else -- I would much rather have someone say something preventative to help me fix it instead of sitting by and watching it fall through the cracks and talking about it behind my back saying how it could've been fixed.....

I understand what you're saying. Sometimes we have to lead our kids to the right outcome before we tell them to "just do it." And I agree, I miss things in my job too, and I would expect someone to point it out. I just wouldn't expect someone that doesn't (or shouldn't) have anything to do with my job, point it out.

 

[RaRaMama]

Whats sad is I know so many people who arent preparing their children for the real world both how things are done in the sports world and in everyday society. Ill use an example that has recently been discussed in my family. My mother was simply an amazing softball player (i say this because her friends and sisters will back up that statement with examples ;) ) She was awesome because she practiced her butt off. Alone. No one told her to go throw bricks to make her arms stronger. No one told her to go pitch against the fence and pick up each and evey ball she threw. She did it because she wanted to be the best of the best. Her coaches made her and her teammates feel like rockstars because they worked their arse off to get that playing time. Its not like that today. Now, you have to give kids equal playing time. And Im not saying every child has to be simply amazing in order for me to pay attention to them. What I am saying is if you as a parent want susie to be point flyer, point dancer, point jumper, whatever it is it may be, then your child needs to work. Plain and simple. And I dont just mean with me at practice. I mean on their own time. Thats how I was raised and thats what I did. I wasnt the coveted number 4 batter because I didnt work hard enough to do it and that was my own fault. But I did work hard enough to play only the single best position in softball ever: third base. :)

As far as everyday interaction I was taught if I wanted respect I better treat people with respect. I was taught to be kind and I definitely wasnt taught to roll my eyes. Nowadays, it seems as if every child has been fed this mentality that they are rockstars no matter what and I need to treat them that way. I cant even begin to imagine saying some of the things I hear children say to their parents. If my grandmother heard that, I would probably be dead right now. If I am to be a part of this journey with you as a parent, I need that respect that I give you and your children everyday I am with them. I dont want to see Susie roll her eyes when she blatantly drops Abby and has to face the consequences. I dont want Susie to talk back to me when the WHOLE team has to run for warm ups. This journey starts at home and I would appreciate some parents I witness stepping up to the plate and teaching your kids some manners (harsh? Probably). I dont doubt its tough to be a parent and I see so many raising awesome children. But it is very sad to see some children who really dont deserve all the good they have been given. There comes a point when you need to stop feeding into the childs "Im so awesome" mentality.

LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS! It drives me crazy (and this isn't just in our gym, this is in everyday life period) to see parents who think their kids are perfect and should always be the center of the universe. Do I love my daughter and son (both who cheer) and think they are the most fabulous kids on the planet? Absolutely. Does that mean they are the best cheerleaders on the planet? Not necessarily (although, I have to say, my daughter did some great hair whipping at the end of her routine this past season, and my son can do his "turkey" jump like nobody's business :-)) When my daughter wonders why she's not a flyer, I am honest with her and tell her that she was unfortunately built just like her Mom, and there is no way it's gonna happen...but then I tell her being built that way makes her an AWESOME base or backspot. When she gets lazy and doesn't want to work on tumbling, I remind her that it's that work that will pay off in the competition season....I try to encourage and not force. I praise both of my kids when they do well, and I when they need encouragement to do better next time, I give them that too. Life isn't all sunshine and roses, and to blow smoke just to pump their ego doesn't do anybody any favors, most of all them.

 

[KRECCheer]

and my son can do his "turkey" jump like nobody's business :)).

I mean, Im just saying, Julian has the meanest Turkey Jump around. Far better than a herkie and twice as great as a hurdler.

 

[Fameous MOM]

Congrats to her! Hard work does pay off. I'll keep my fingers crossed.
If I have a kid who I know isnt one to really work for something, I challenge them. I have one child who NEEDS to be in the air but she doesnt quite have all the skills. I told her I would have my scorp perfectly before she does. 2 weeks and she has it! Sometimes a little challenge will do it and making J5 must have been your daughters personal challenge! Cant wait to hear if she made it.

She made j5!!!! So proud!:cheering:

 

[JulieP]

I don't feel the least bit sad about it. For one, my cp needs to learn to step up and say something directly to the people who can fix it (coaches) rather than to me.

So glad that you understand this!!! :D As a coach, this can be one of the hardest things to explain to athletes and parents- especially the parents that like to point out everything that's going wrong while their child stands silently. Susie needs to learn to talk to the coach herself when something's bothering her- I am not a monster, and I promise I will listen if you want to talk to me after practice Susie. Part of why I love this sport is the fact that it fosters an athletes confidence, and a big part of that is learning to speak up. If Susie doesn't learn how to stand on her own two feet, then how is she ever going to make it in the real world?

 

[Mamarazzi]

So glad that you understand this!!! :D As a coach, this can be one of the hardest things to explain to athletes and parents- especially the parents that like to point out everything that's going wrong while their child stands silently. Susie needs to learn to talk to the coach herself when something's bothering her- I am not a monster, and I promise I will listen if you want to talk to me after practice Susie. Part of why I love this sport is the fact that it fosters an athletes confidence, and a big part of that is learning to speak up. If Susie doesn't learn how to stand on her own two feet, then how is she ever going to make it in the real world?

Obviously, I agree, but I will add that for a younger, or more timid older, child, it's a learning process. A coach can be the benevolent leader or tyrannical dictator to a child. It's scary to approach any authority figure for the first time. Understand that a parent may be trying to show their kid "how it's done" before making them do it on their own. Same as a coach would do with a skill! :) I would never tell my cp to do something without specifically telling her what to say and how to say it respectfully for the first time. After that, she's on her own.

 

[KRECCheer]

She made j5!!!! So proud!:cheering:

Congrats!!! All that hard work paid off!