Girl Insecure About Tumbling?

[SEA333]

Hi, I thought I'd start off with a question for my first post - have mercy on me as I learn the ropes as a newbie to this forum, although not new to the message board world. I also happen to be a fairly new cheer coach for a rec Football and Cheer league, so I guess I have a LOT to still learn all the way around!

Anyway, my question is, what kind of tips would you give for us coaches to motivate inexperienced tumblers to stop worrying about what they *can't* do vs. what the more experienced tumblers *can* do? I have a few girls on my team (5th and 6th graders) who almost outright refuse to show us what kind of tumbling skills they have because (I am sure) the are still in the bridge/backbend stage when several others are doing more advanced tumbling. I know one girl for sure was very close to getting her backwalkover (I used to see her in tumbling class with my daughter), but at cheer practice, she stiffens up and tries once, fails, and gets embarrassed and won't try again. Her mother says the same thing is now happening at tumbling class - she is not progressing, and even going backward.

What can we do to help her? Her mother is about to take her out of cheer/tumbling because:
1. She feels like it is a waste of time and money if the girl refuses to progress
2. She says her daughter loves cheer, but cries about not knowing how to tumble and doesn't want to do it in front of anyone else because they will look down on her. We do not tolerate that on our team, and all of the girls are super-sweet and wouldn't look down on her at all, so I have no idea where she is getting this from. As a matter of fact, everyone cheers for a teammate who learns a new skill, whether it is a forward roll or a BHS or a new stunt or whatever.
3. If this isn't going anywhere (like to a competitive team or eventually competitive cheer in high school), the mom would rather give her a chance to try/learn another sport/activity since she is going into Middle School next year.

This girl is a very hard worker, good attitude, and an amazing backspotter. She thinks she is too tall/big for tumbling, but we have other backspotters that tumble, and she is actually our smallest backspot. I know that she can do it if she can get over her fears, and I would hate for her to quit just because she is insecure.

Any thoughts??!!

 

[Official OWECheer]

@tumbleyoda @Matt Faherty @oncecoolcoachnowmom @12stepCheermom (I feel like you might be a good person to ask)

 

[cheerforeverever]

She is at that "tween" age, where everyone has to be "cool/popular,etc.", so :rolleyes: it comes with the territory unfortunately..........Even if everyone is sweet as sugar at practice, in her mind it may be mortifying to do anything "not as good" in front of her peers. She is probably feeling like she isn't that great overall in this sport, because people emphasize the tumbling, but it is important to boost her self esteem with the things she is good at. Whether that is an emphasis on "awesome backspotting today!" or a "I can tell how hard you've been working & I want to let you know that it shows", she needs to be reminded that tumbling is not everything.

Some ideas to think about:
- An increased focus on conditioning/strengthening her body at home, so that it is easier to learn skills (& perhaps more confidence in her fitness abilities/body). In the case of backwalkovers, it is more of a flexibility skill than a power skill. Therefore, the more (primarily shoulder) flexibility she works on, the quicker this skill can be performed (this is an interesting read on the basic theory: Back Walkovers and Backbend Kickovers | Cheerleading Zone
- A private tumbling lesson instead of a group class. The instructor can move at her speed & there isn't the intimidation factor of what others are doing around her.
-Positive thoughts & motivation surrounding her! example: some of the quotes on here..... minus the random ab photos (those wont help in this situation). you get the idea. motivational cheerleader | Tumblr
-Implementation of a consistent (but not crazy intense) conditioning program at the end of rec practice if possible to benefit the whole team
- Rotations of different tumbling drills to help kids work up to skills, without them realizing that they are actually working on a certain skill ;) (Drills - For the "Love" of Tumbling

Overall though, whether she sticks with cheer or not, the biggest thing is helping her find confidence in herself.
Help boost her up in what she is good at, be there when she needs it & remind her that whatever she chooses to do in life, there is a spot for her that is meant to be.

 

[retiredl5cheer]

Team bonding. It sounds like she's terrified of what her teammates think of her. Building relationships with her teammates will help her to feel more comfortable trying (and failing). Also be sure to praise her in front of her teammates.

 

[seein_starz]

I would let the girl know that you and the team believe in her, personally, throughout my entire cheer career (13 years) I was always self conscious about my tumbling, I was always scared to throw new skills I knew I had, I was scared to throw skills I had had for years, I just never felt comfortable tumbling because my coaches put so much pressure on me, I knew they meant well but it still effected me.

 

[cheer25mom]

It sounds to me like you are doing a lot of things right. I think that maybe sitting down with her and talking about it one on one might be helpful. let her know you care about her feelings and understand that she feels embarrassed but that you feel like she could progress if she was willing to let her guard down a little and let the team help her.

 

[tumbleyoda]

Everyone has already given spot on advice, so all I can really say is - what they said. :)

 

[Coach Sara]

As a mental toughness coach, I agree with what has been said- I think part of it is also creating a motivational culture that values learning and personal progress versus winning or being better than others (not to say you're doing the second, but working to create the first, for this age is ideal). If you can talk to the parents (all of them) about this as well, and have them encourage their girls to focus on improvement, and celebrate that (not just getting or hitting a skill, but even small improvements), then this becomes more of the norm and this athlete, and the others, will hopefully see improvements and have more fun. Also, encouraging them to encourage each other and give positive feedback is useful.

 

[MzLyn23]

Ditto to what everyone said... especially giving her some one on one time.... praising her when appropriate and even when there's a "failure" being more of "ok that's great I saw something better, or that's a lot better, or wow that was a great try but why don't we try it again and this time do this...." Just that little bit really helps kids in general and if at any point a teammate shows attitude or is inconsiderate being sure to nip that quickly... empower the girls to root their fellow teammates on... if she's in a stunt group, like a particular group she works with as a backspot and that group tumbles, maybe working with them and speaking to them privately of how they need to help encourage her... make do group do some mini conditioning for tumbling together so they can route each other on, even if its just basics (stuff they already know how to do but the backspot struggles, back bend stretches, shoulder exercises, etc)...

Hope this helps!

 

[MaddieTheCheerleader]

Hi, I thought I'd start off with a question for my first post - have mercy on me as I learn the ropes as a newbie to this forum, although not new to the message board world. I also happen to be a fairly new cheer coach for a rec Football and Cheer league, so I guess I have a LOT to still learn all the way around!

Anyway, my question is, what kind of tips would you give for us coaches to motivate inexperienced tumblers to stop worrying about what they *can't* do vs. what the more experienced tumblers *can* do? I have a few girls on my team (5th and 6th graders) who almost outright refuse to show us what kind of tumbling skills they have because (I am sure) the are still in the bridge/backbend stage when several others are doing more advanced tumbling. I know one girl for sure was very close to getting her backwalkover (I used to see her in tumbling class with my daughter), but at cheer practice, she stiffens up and tries once, fails, and gets embarrassed and won't try again. Her mother says the same thing is now happening at tumbling class - she is not progressing, and even going backward.

What can we do to help her? Her mother is about to take her out of cheer/tumbling because:
1. She feels like it is a waste of time and money if the girl refuses to progress
2. She says her daughter loves cheer, but cries about not knowing how to tumble and doesn't want to do it in front of anyone else because they will look down on her. We do not tolerate that on our team, and all of the girls are super-sweet and wouldn't look down on her at all, so I have no idea where she is getting this from. As a matter of fact, everyone cheers for a teammate who learns a new skill, whether it is a forward roll or a BHS or a new stunt or whatever.
3. If this isn't going anywhere (like to a competitive team or eventually competitive cheer in high school), the mom would rather give her a chance to try/learn another sport/activity since she is going into Middle School next year.

This girl is a very hard worker, good attitude, and an amazing backspotter. She thinks she is too tall/big for tumbling, but we have other backspotters that tumble, and she is actually our smallest backspot. I know that she can do it if she can get over her fears,
and I would hate for her to quit just because she is insecure.

Any thoughts??!!

I related to this a lot. Just spot her and have her keep doing it. Even on a mat. Repetition is very helpful, and helps people get over tumbling fears. Another is maybe taking a break and trying a new skill? I go stiff and freeze up going into my back walkover too, having a spot helps me a lot knowing there is something so I don't fall on the ground.

 

[mclark]

I agree with all the advice given. I try to focus on two points when I have someone that is embarrassed or nervous to tumble in front of others.

1). If other students are in the gym doing advanced tumbling, I tell my student that at some point that the ones tumbling were also embarrassed and nervous to tumble in front of others. So instead of the student focusing on not being as good as them, it flips the focus to, "Hey, those girls were once like me." Too many times newer students forget that everyone was a beginner at some point. Acknowledging their fear but then pointing out that everyone has felt that way before has helped many relax while in class.

2). I also tell them that if you are worried about failing because you are in front of others, then you are more likely to hold back and not enter the skill with the proper speed or strength or technique, thus increasing your chance of failing and realizing what you are most afraid of right now. We then talk about that by not caring what anyone thinks for one moment and just trying the skill by using the proper technique we have been drilling, the chances of success greatly increase. By making the focus on the athlete having control over what happens has helped many of my students overcome this fear.

 

[Coach Sara]

Team bonding. It sounds like she's terrified of what her teammates think of her. Building relationships with her teammates will help her to feel more comfortable trying (and failing). Also be sure to praise her in front of her teammates.

Great idea- helping her feel more connected to the team, and trusting of them may help her feel more comfortable to try her skills.

 

[Coach Sara]

Can you pinpoint another strength she has? Like her height on jumps? 2 ideas from that. 1) Give lots of positive feedback about those strengths and 2) Think about pairing the girls up so that they can help each other. For example, she can help a tumbler with jumps, and the tumbler can help her work toward her BWO. You will need to be involved as the coach as they're likely not prepared to really coach each other, but the tips/motivation/support might be helpful. Also, think about setting a goal and what she can do to get there; usually athletes gain confidence and motivation as they see themselves get closer to the goal and then there is less focus on the outcome.

 

[John Prospect]

As a mental toughness coach,

How does one become a mental toughness coach?

 

[Coach Sara]

How does one become a mental toughness coach?

Hi John- so sorry I didn't see this earlier. I didn't get an alert on my phone! I have a Master's Degree in Sport Psychology, so some sort of advanced degree in sport or exercise psychology is typically the route individuals go. Message me if you have more questions :-)